Dear GreenEgg,
That sounds really stressful. I hope you are ok. Sometimes we can blame ourselves and feel worthless. I have been struggling with extreme feelings of worthlessness myself and feeling sick with it also. I think it’s really important to know this is a transitory state and you won’t feel awful forever. Also, the fact you feel strongly shows that you care, and a caring person is a good person.
With whatever you heard that has affected you, it could help to reach out to a helpline such as Beyond Blue, Lifeline or Suicide Call Back Service. Just debriefing with another human being can often help to alleviate some of the intense emotions. You only have to share what you want to, but simply engaging with another human can help to emotionally regulate and feel a bit more grounded. I’m not sure if you have access to any counselling support, but that could help to to process what you’ve experienced. But also just calling a friend, someone you trust and feel comfortable with, can be a great help.
I am happy to chat if you want to. I’m in the midst of my own anxiety and challenging emotions at present, so I can relate to the emotional turmoil you are experiencing. When all feels overwhelming I’m finding there is a small voice within that knows what to do intuitively and it’s often just listening in to that intuition that you find the part of yourself that knows how to take care of yourself. Talking with others you feel comfortable with can help to strengthen the part of you that can take care of you, if that makes sense? It’s like co-regulation with another helps to emotionally regulate yourself.
Take care and happy to chat if you want to. Try not to be hard on yourself. You are a good person.
