I dont know what to do anymore

[buggged_out]

tw

I've been suicidal for all of high school I can even remember wanting to die at 7. its gotten worse though I've recently moved states and left all my friends and all my mental support I don't know what to do anymore I've been getting visuals. I think I'm going insane I don't know what to do anymore. i cant make any friends here because I have severe social anxiety so whenever i even fumble a word i have the worst panic attack you can ever know and gods forgive me if i make a mistake speaking. anyway I've started smoking again and stealing money to pay for it I couldn't even get to finish it before it got taken along with all my gear its my only coping mechanism other than self harm but they don't understand so they just take it. I don't want to steal from them but I really have no choice due to it being a depressant, so when I stop I spiral. I don't know what to do anymore any advice?

[buggged_out]

i posted this and honestly i hate it im sorry i rlly am 

[mmMekitty]

Hello Buggged_out

I'm glad you wrote what you did, no matter if you typed mistakes, everyone does. Me too, but my need to make my writing look good, leads me to edit before posting. Still, some mistakes will get through. I'm doing my best, & my best has to be good enough or I would be down on myself so much I couldn't post anything.

Who are 'they' taking the cigarettes away & not understanding why you want them?

Have you found a GP where you live now? Would you try to talk to them & ask them to help you set up mental health support? ?

Because it's so difficult for you to speak about these things you have written about, I wonder, could you show the GP what you've written here? I think that they would find reading your words very helpful.

& Buggged_out, I don't think you have anything to be sorry for - reaching out when you need help is what this place is all about.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Mark Z.]

Hi Buggged_out,

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time.

I'm not a professional but I want to encourage you not to fight alone. There are people who can help you and support you, even if you're in a new place and don't have your usual support system.

You can consider finding a mental health professional (e.g. a therapist or counsellor) in your new area who can help you work through your thoughts and feelings. They can provide you with a safe and confidential space to talk about what's going on for you and help you develop coping strategies. 

You can also consider peer support or peer group for people who are going through similar experiences. This can be a good way to connect with others who understand what you're going through and can provide you with emotional support.

I'm not sure which state do you live in now, for the two suggestions above. You can start with local GP for referrals, or google your local resources, or call Beyondblue hotline 1300 224 636 (24/7) for some recommendation. Those professionals will be able to help you find safe and healthy strategies and ways to cope with your challenge instead of smoking or self-harming.

When you feel really overwhelmed and need to talk to someone right away, consider reaching out to a crisis hotline. They can provide you with immediate support and help you figure out your next steps. Some relative resources for you:

• Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 (24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention)
• Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 (24/7 mental health support and suicide prevention)
• Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 (24/7 telephone and online counseling service for young people aged 5-25)
• Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (24/7 support for individuals at risk of suicide or bereaved by suicide)

Remember that it's okay to ask for help and that you deserve to feel better. Don't feel hating yourself for posting this. You're doing the right thing, and you're brave. Hope everything will be better.

Mark