i cant stop thinking about ending my life on this earth

[chatterboy]

i just keep thinking about self termination every time there's a problem in my life i just think about killing myself i always act happy just so others don't have to think about me ive Self-harmed and did dumb things just hoping i would die i think about joining the military to die hurting myself on a daily basis i just needed to say these things to someone i might do this again but who knows.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

From the outset I'd like to suggest that you would benefit from therapy of some sort referred by your GP doctor.

Suicidal thought/intrusive thoughts are serious issues and redirecting them can change your life so much for the better.

You appear fragile mentally, that leads to catastrophising whenever you face any problem. This is not how you can lead your life in the long term, better to sort it out now. 

I'm ex defence force and in peacetime it's highly unlikely you'll pass away joining them, this is fantasy that isnt serving you well. Along with your treatment you could learn the benefits of motivation and positive thinking. Up till 26yo I was a negative thinker and not a happy guy, then I attended a lecture and it changed my life.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525

Thanks for posting repost anytime

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi chatterboy

I can't help but wonder what you wish for when you feel another challenge come into your life. Do you wish someone, anyone, would make things easier (even in the slightest way)? Do you wish someone would step in and say something like 'Don't sweat it, I'll help you get through this. We'll work it out together'?. Do you wish you could see things in a different way, through a different kind of perspective? I find these are some of the things I wish for when I feel I can't take one more challenge, especially when it's the kind of challenge that's going to lead me to feel more down. I often wish people just knew how I felt, without me having to tell them. I wish they'd be able to see past the acting. I wish they'd be really tapped into how I'm feeling, so they'd know exactly what to say to me. Sometimes I wish they'd say 'Stop acting and just scream. Scream for as long and as loud as you need to. There can be so many wishes, in such a dark place. So many wishes for someone who feels everything so deeply.

If you wish to connect with people who understand how challenging and dark things can get, you've come to the right place. Give yourself the freedom to express how you feel. You are more than welcome here.