Hi Kitty88
I hear your utter desperation for difference within the sameness of depression. Wish I was there sitting beside you, having a long chat, encouraging you to vent through some screaming and/or crying. From my experience, the depths of depression is torture in a way no one fully understands unless they've been there. I'm so glad you came here, to make a difference.
It's tough when we're trying to navigate challenges on our own. Some of the toughest aspects: 1)Identifying the challenges (even the ones we don't realise are there), 2)making sense of them and 3)figuring out how to rise through them in a way where we feel the difference, while we're achieving raising our self. I believe, feeling significant difference is what leads us to hope. When we feel no difference at all, things can definitely feel hopeless.
In regard to challenge, when I mention 'even the ones we don't realise are there', this can become quite interesting, leading us to wonder in constructive ways. Out of sheer curiosity, I've asked people 'What skills were given to you by your parents/guardians when it comes to managing challenge?' Folk would have a little think before, more often than not, saying 'I don't know'. Then, I'd watch the look on their face as they'd wake up to the fact the answer was typically 'None!' So, then you come to realise I have no basic skills when it comes to managing challenge; no wonder I'm having such a hell of a time. As Mum to a 15yo boy and a girl who'll be turning 18 this month, I'm big on skill development. I never want my kids to go without the skills that will make a positive difference in their life. While on some mind altering quest to know myself better, I'll be led to develop certain skills/higher consciousness and then ask my kids if they can relate. If they relate, they adopt the idea or skill.
'Question everything that is questionable' is one of my mantras. We begin life with this skill, until we are conditioned to 'Stop questioning and just do as you're told'. Such a shame. Imagine this from a 10yo: 'Mum, why do we have to visit grandma, she's so nasty?' Response, 'It's the right thing to do. Stop questioning and get ready!' 'But mum, if grandma's happy being such a nasty b***h to us kids, doesn't that make us enablers if we go? What's wrong with you, allowing your kids to be treated this way?' Response, I had to visit my nasty grandma when I was your age'. 'I get it, it's tradition!'
Kitty, how much do you question others?
🙂
