Hi Kitty88
Something you mentioned led me to think far more consciously for which I am grateful to you. You mention 'I am not made for this world'.
I think we can be made for this world but not survive through the ways in which we are shaped to live in it. We can be made into a people pleaser and suffer by putting others ahead of our self. We can be made to not question and suffer through a lack of questioning others' behaviour, including their neglect. We can be made to endure, to simply cope with what's intolerable and therefor not learn to scream in a way that leads people to wake up. We are made or shaped for this world in so many ways that don't serve us.
Being sensitive, with the ability to feel so much, I have found I am naturally made for this world to feel anger, to feel rage, to feel what's depressing, to feel what hopelessness feels like so I know when to walk away from it in search of hope. I am naturally made not to tolerate what feels intolerable. I am made not to simply cope but to find and feel greater understanding in myself and all things around me. I am not made to endure and feel long term pain, mental and physical. I am made to find people who invent solutions to pain, as opposed to finding those who insist there are none. I am made to rebel against systems, not tolerate them when they're weak and useless and don't serve me.
Waking up to how intolerable this world can be is such a brutal process. It can be depressing, infuriating and can even feel soul destroying at times. Waking up to feeling everything so deeply can be taxing and exhausting. It can feel lonely and overwhelming. Being asleep to the point where ignorance is bliss can be a time that comes to be so sorely missed. Being fully awake is far from easy and sometimes so deeply deeply painful.
My heart goes out to you❤️
