Tired of asking for help

[redtornado]

Hi,

I just want to vent. I’ve been having a hard few months with suicidal ideation and stopping myself from going through

I’ve been open and honest with my GP and psychologist but all I get is that “they’re

concerned for my well-being” but that’s it.

Today my psychologist sent a referral to the acute team at my local hospital. I spoke to them and they referred me to safe haven and said “I’ll be ok”. 

I’m tired of being depressed and anxious and from now on I’ll just hide it. 

If you are struggling like me, please reach out to your friends and family. If you need a break go private.

I’m going to try and fight these suicidal thoughts and pretend I’m ok. Don’t be like me though. 

Oh and I’m safe, no need to worry about me. 

Thankyou to beyondblue and everyone who did care about me. 

There needs to be more attention given to mental health from a government point of view. 

Take care - anonymous 

[Sophie_M]

Dear redtornado,
 
Thank you so much for reaching out for support on the forums, we are sorry to hear that you have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and have not been receiving the assistance needed by your professional support.  Please feel free to continue to vent on the forums and express yourself and your concerns openly and without fear of judgement, as this is a safe space.
 
We are sorry to hear that you are having to deal with so much right now and can understand why these thoughts would feel so overwhelming. Although you currently feel as though you are having to fight this by yourself, please know you are not alone and we are here for you.
 
Having these suicidal thoughts must be tormenting and we are sorry that you feel your GP and Psychiatrist have been unable to help you. You should not feel that you must suppress how you are truly feeling and just tell them you are ok. We encourage you to reengage with both and let them know that you are still having these thoughts and need genuine help so that you can feel safe. Please consider contacting Suicide Callback Service (call on 1300 659 467) if you ever feel the suicidal thoughts are becoming unbearable.
 
If you would like to talk about your suicidal thoughts and other concerns about your difficulties engaging with adequate support, we are always here for you. Please contact Beyond Blue either via phone  1300 22 4636 or through Beyond Blue Online Chat 24/7. The Beyond Blue safety planning app might be worth looking at, too. You can read about how it works and where to download it here.
 
Please remember that if you feel you are having trouble resisting urges to act on your suicidal thoughts or you do not feel safe, please call emergency services on 000.
 
Also, we have reached out to you privately and hope that you are able to engage with us for some counselling and support if you feel comfortable doing so.
 
Thank you for trusting our supportive community and sharing your experiences, we hope you find the shared insights and advice of our members helpful.
 
Warm regards
Sophie M
 

[therising]

Hi redtornado

Agree with you 100% when it comes to the government giving more attention to mental health. While some might say they already give a lot of attention and money, it's nowhere near enough in my opinion. Just for a start, it would make sense to do a mental health census that would calculate the top 10 depressing and anxiety inducing challenges the population experiences. Then fund community support around developing structure and help in those areas. While they're at it, why not redevelop the Australian education system, to include less depressing and stressful factors and add a subject that runs throughout a child's schooling career that covers 'mental/physical/spiritual wellbeing'. Btw, with the spiritual aspect, this does not include religion but it does include a healthy sense of wonder and philosophy.

I get where you're coming from: Being told 'We're concerned for you' and 'You'll be ok' are not management plans. How to manage what's depressing/stressful (internal dialogue, depressing/stressful people around us, the wrong mental programs instilled in us from birth, inner chemistry etc) is what gives us hope, direction and a sense of growth.

One of the worst belief systems instilled in us would have to be 'Being highly sensitive is a bad thing'. How can it be bad, being able to sense a depressing lack of much needed inspiration and guidance? How can it be bad to be able to sense what and who is depressing and stressful? What about being able to easily sense how you're body is feeling any given situation you're in (telling feelings that are telling us something)? Don't these sound more like abilities rather than things we should feel bad about? I wish insensitive people were far more able to sense. Would make life so much easier🙂