How do i find the will to keep going on?

[H-c]

I honestly can’t do this anymore. What’s the point in living? I am so tired and getting out of bed everyday has become a really hard thing to do now. I really wish that i would never wake up every night as i go to sleep. Everything about me is messed up, and these past few days i cry myself to sleep. I thought i was getting better, i thought i finally got rid of the negative thoughts, i guess not. I feel so irritated all the time and i get mad at people easily. I hate being with people, i feel so alone all the time no matter where I’m at. I had an anxiety attack today and my hands couldn’t stop shaking. I’ve been self-harming and it's affecting me negatively. It’s getting harder and harder to breathe everyday.

if you are reading this or have read this, I’m sorry for ranting, i just wanted to let some of it out

[Sophie_M]

Hey H-c,

We're so sorry to hear how much pain you are feeling right now, but you have shown so much strength in reaching out here and being so open and honest about how you're feeling. We're so sorry to hear that you've been struggling with self-harm and these intense negative thoughts, this must be so difficult to cope with. We can hear how overwhelmed you must be feeling, including this experience today having an anxiety attack- but please know that you don't have to do this alone. Our caring community are all here to help support you, and we're also currently trying to reach out to you through email to check in and offer some extra support through this.

We think it would really help to be able to talk through these thoughts and feelings tonight, and we'd encourage you to reach out to our friends at Kids Helpline either by phone (1800 55 1800) or through their online chat: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling if you'd feel more comfortable talking online. Our friends at Lifeline are also there for you 24/7 on 13 11 14 whenever things are feeling too much to cope with, and you can reach out as often as you need during difficult moments like these.

We can hear that you're really struggling to find the motivation right now, but please don't give up, and please keep reaching out. Many in our community will also understand how difficult this journey can be, but also how things really can get better. Please know that you are never alone in this, and we're all here for you.

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome.

It does sound like something or a lot of things are bothering, upsetting, making your overwhelmed at the moment. I also want you to know this is a safe and non-judgemental space. And having someone to validate my thoughts was also helpful to me.

I am not sure what exactly is going on for you at the moment.Yet I am also familiar with the black cloud or fog that negative thoughts bring which can easily smother any good things that might have happened in the day.

If you want to talk about it here (in chat) I will read and respond as I can. And perhaps we might share of your story and I can share mine. So I hope you will come back and tell me a little about yourself?

Peace to you

[H-c]

Hi thank you for being here,

a while ago I’ve discovered that i no longer enjoy some of the things i used to love doing and it scares me so much. And yesterday without anything triggering me i broke down and I felt like i have reached to the very bottom and I couldn’t stop crying. So my streaks of crying myself to sleep is still going on ..

[Jen_W]

Hi H-c -

I'm sorry to hear that you're having scary thoughts and that you're feeling alone. But I'm really glad you've come back here to chat. It's very brave of you to reach out and share your story. Please know that you're not alone - I am here, and so are many others that are here to listen.

I know how you feel when you say that you no longer enjoy some of the things that you used to love doing. Feeling like that can be an indicator that something may be different. Sharing that and talking about it can be so helpful though, and so can crying! Crying helps me get things out and much of the time I feel better after a good cry.

What helps me when I'm feeling low and alone is remembering that those thoughts aren't forever. Sometimes those thoughts enter into my head and what I do is stop and let them just sit there. And then I work on shifting my thinking to something else. It takes practice, but it can be really effective. Of course, talking to a trusted friend, family member or co-worker can also really help as well.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you are.

[smallwolf]

hello again.

glad to see you came back to chat again. firstly, there nothing wrong of weak in crying - it can be a stress release, and it could a symptom of something else. You also said that you lost enjoyment in things you did. There was a period of time when I was like that. To overcome this, with the help my psychologist I would write a gratitude journal, maintain a journal of things to look forward to and begin with the finding joy in little things. There was also a list of 300 different activities to try out - something as simple as walking to the park and spending time there without a phone. Starting was hard, but after about 15min I could get into it. This might not be your thing, as we each have to find what works for us. Another thing was to reward yourself after accomplishing something.

I can give you a link to the activity list of you like?

Also, have you spoken with your GP about this? Or do you get any professional help?

Peace to you