Hi CharliRae94___
While there are definitely some benefits to be had from certain therapies that manage the mind and body connection, such therapies are only complimentary to highly specific ways that help. My heart goes out to you so much, given the painful and mind altering childhood you were led to experience through the horrific choices of another. As a mum to 2 kids (17 and 20yo old), the pure rage I would be feeling if someone put my kids through what you went through would be enormous.
Coming from a soulful perspective, a sense of disconnection from life can feel undeniably soul destroying. The rage I speak of is based on someone else causing that disconnection in order for them to gain in some way. No one has the right to take life's soulful experience away from a child, an experience that is found in their present way of living (as a child) and in the future, when it comes to them growing into who they're going to be as an adult.
So many mixed emotions for those who suffer so deeply in so many ways. Rage, grief, frustration, desperation (to find answers, greater self understanding and the way forward), degrees of mental, physical and emotional exhaustion and so much more. So many feelings.
I think, depending on the people we're with, the experiences we're having and the memories and belief systems we refer to, we can become fully conscious of feeling everything that brings us joy or excitement (some soulful sense of connection to life). On the other hand (due to certain triggers) we can suddenly become fully conscious of sensing the nature of certain people, experiences, memories and belief systems that lead us to feel a complete and utter sense of disconnection. While a complete disconnection can feel like hell on earth (speaking from personal experience), swinging between the 2 states can feel like a form of constant torment and torture.
I've found one of the challenges in life to be saying 'No' to a GP, 'No, I'm not leaving until you listen to what I'm saying'. Having been largely a people pleaser for a good part of my life, dictating to a professional is something that does not come easy. I tend to consciously channel my intolerant sense of self in order to achieve, while the people pleaser in me is forced to take a back seat. Channeling this aspect of myself requires a build up of energy known typically as 'anger', the kind of thing I used to actually suppress, so as not to upset anyone or face conflict. Anger works wonders if managed well. You deserve far more respect and support compared to what you're getting.
