Hi Rex323
I feel for you so much as you face some significant challenges in your life. It can really be tough when we're in need of some solid guidance and there just doesn't seem to be a lot of people around us helping us find that guidance and difference we need. I'm glad you came here on your quest.
As a way of me managing not revisiting depression, I've become a fairly analytical gal. As I say to people, I analyse the hell out of a lot things, so as to get to more heavenly states of living. 'I'm such a failure' is one of those statements I've analysed the hell out of 🙂
I've managed to replace 'I'm such a failure' with 'What am I failing to do or see?' Sometimes there can be a lot going on at the same time, to the point where it can feel overwhelming:
- I'm failing to find the right people who can make the difference I desperately need right now
- I'm failing to address why my energy levels are so low, to the point where I feel dysfunctional
- I'm failing to find what truly will excite/energise me. I'm repeating the same ventures, not adding ventures (adventuring)
- I'm failing to find a way of altering my perception
- I'm failing to let go of certain things, beliefs and/or people that are holding me back
- I'm failing to figure out what the heck this monumental challenge in my life is really about
Sometimes all this can be going on at once in my life. While a breakdown is not a fun experience, often it can lead to a break down of factors I may need to be looking at individually. Kind of like deconstructing a puzzle. If I can break things down before I hit the absolute peak of intolerance, I can save putting my mind and body through the wringer (a sudden overwhelming breakdown).
Might sound a bit weird but I find there's a difference between thinking and wondering. As an example, I could be thinking 'I'm so tired, so exhausted. I can't handle this anymore'. I've discovered that thinking this never really gets me anywhere. I may then begin wondering...'Why do I have no energy? I wonder what forms of energy I need to be putting into myself before I can feel a difference. I wonder how many types and how much of each is going to really make a difference'.
I know it sounds a little airy fairy but I've discovered that becoming more wonderful (wonder full) can be mind altering and life changing at times. Wondering prompts our natural ability to open our mind and have inspiration/revelations come in. Thinking can, at times, do nothing but bring us down.
🙂
