Feeling empty

[DancerStar21]

At the moment in my life ive been feeling rlly empty. its not like i want to kill myself but i just feel like life would be better off without me. Ive started to eat less at school. Im not having breakfast recess or lunch and idk why. i honestly just feel rlly bad at the moment. i have a friend who i thought i used to know rlly well but it turns out i dont. he smokes weed and does other bad stuff and its not amazing but idk what to do. My parents hate me and i hate me. i just dont want to be here anymore

[Sophie_M]

Hi DancerStar21,

First of all, can we just thank you for showing such bravery. We know reaching out like this isn't easy but it is so important that you have. We want you to know you've come to a safe and non-judgmental place where users give and receive support to one another based on their own experiences with mental health. While the peer support they offer is often quick, it's important you know it's not immediate and if ever you feel like you need help right now! please reach out to our Support Service or Kidshelpline for immediate support.

Our Support Service is reaching out to you by email as we are worried you are feeling so low and want you to know things can get better. Please know you can reach out to them on 1300 22 4636 anytime day or night. You might prefer to reach out to our friends at Kidshelpline. They offer 24/7 phone counselling on 1800 55 1800 or online via: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling.

Please keep checking in here and letting us know how you're getting on whenever you feel up to it. We want to welcome you to this wonderful online forums community.

[Aaronsis]

Welcome to the forums DancerStar21

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so very bad at the moment and that things just seem too much. Being at school these days is very different from when I was there, I am 46yo and I see the things my kids go through (they are 16 and 14) and it seems so foreign to me. There is so much pressure and so many things thrown at you and expectations. I am wondering if you can chat to a school councellor if you are feeling like sharing this with your parents might not be the best choice just yet?

In saying that I am wondering why it is that you feel your parents hate you? If you want to share that is. I know that my kids don't always think I am the best thing going around but I can assure you that if they came to me wanting a conversation as to how they were feeling and how things are going for them I would absolutely welcome it with open arms, I am thinking perhaps your parents may be the same? It is not easy being a parent and we don't always get it right either, just something to think about there.

There are some wonderful people at the Butterfly Foundation if you feel like your eating habits are starting to take control of your thoughts and feelings and you are making choices with regards to food that are not usual for you. I will put the link here if you think that is something that maybe helpful to you also:

https://butterfly.org.au/

Sophie_M has also mentioned Kids Helpline and they are so very wonderful and have a few different ways in which you can engage with them, so if talking on the phone is hard you can access help on the webchat too.

It is hard when we have people as friends and we then find out things about them that don't align with what we think or feel, and that is fine, we can move away from that situation, although it is hurtful to lose a friend to choices that they are making in their lives, it is hard to see your friends making choices you don't agree with. Maybe a conversation to ask them if they need some support too might be helpful?

I hear you when you say you don't want to be here anymore, I hear you and I am here to chat, to sit with you and to help you through this time, even if only via a computer. There are brighter days ahead, there are moments to make you feel good about yourself coming, it is a hard time now but you are reaching out and that is wonderful and shows real strength.

I would like to chat to you some more if you would like to.

Hugs to you

Sarah xx

[DancerStar21]

thanks. its rlly great to actually talk to someone about how i feel.

[Aaronsis]

Well I am so happy to hear that and I know exactly what you mean.

That is how I found myself feeling better is the day I reached out here for some answers and some support and almost two years later I am still here.

This community is so wonderful and supportive and we do care, so much about you and how you are feeling and will try our best, even though we are not doctors to see that you are ok, that you know how important you are, how much you are wanted and needed even if right now it does not seem like that.

You will not be judged here or criticized and that is what creates such a beautiful space to get some of the weight off your chest.

Here for you DancerStar21

Sarah xx

[DancerStar21]

Hey Sarah,

Thank you so much for the support. Sorry I didnt mean to phrase it like 'my parents hate me' because i know they dont they just act like they dont care. Right when I needed communication with people outside of my home (friends and some support) they took it away for what seemed to be for no reason. theyre continuously calling me an abusive child for just forgetting to do something small like unpack the dishwasher because i was busy doing school work that is causing me a lot of anxiety at the moment. every day when i come home from school im scared im going to get into trouble and i dont feel like i can talk to them at all even when they are always saying that theyre there for me but i just dont really feel like they are there for me. I obviously dont understand what being a parent is like but im genuinely trying my best to be a good child. But i am the oldest so idk?

but yea

thank you guys for reaching out i appreciate it x

[Aaronsis]

Hi DancerStar21

I was really pleased to hear that you had given some thought to the statement "my parents hate me", and I am even happier to hear that you know deep down, it may be pretty deep, that they do infact love you.

I can hear all the things that you are saying about how your life at home is and it must be so very frustrating to be called abusive names, not to mention hurtful too. Also the confusion that you are experiencing with actions V's words and them saying that they are there for you but you feel like they are not.

I am wondering how you would feel about perhaps writing them a letter, as you clearly express yourself very well here, and letting them know what is going on for you and how you feel, about things like the chores in the house and how school work impacts the available time you have to help, as long as that is the reason of course and you are not just avoiding doing tasks. It would be very hard to open up to them and have a conversation if you feel scared or worried so perhaps this is another way to communicate with them. You could maybe even ask them for a conversation and sit while they read the letter and encourage a conversation that way.

I am so very sure you are trying your best and I am sure that they are trying too, sometimes we do need to be reminded about what it is that others need, including parents and even children too. Also your parents have no idea at present how you are feeling so asking you to do a simple task may to them seem as it is..simple..BUT when you are already feeling so very overwhelmed and hurt asking a task like this just makes everything so much worse...they don't know how you are feeling so this could be the perfect time to start a conversation with them.

Here anytime you would like to chat and I would like to hear what you think about writing them a letter and if you think that would work for you.

Wishing you something wonderful today that makes you smile.

Hugs

Sarah

[DancerStar21]

Hi Sarah,

I know its been a while. I am way better now 🙂 I have new friends and I've got a job and a sporting community with lots of support systems now. I just wanted to come on and say thank you so much for all the love and help you had given me when I was feeling so down it really helped me out.

Lots of love,

Sophia 🙂