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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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KellKell07 Not coping
  • replies: 4

I’m 50 yrs old and currently suffering badly with depression. I am on medication, and it was increased a few weeks ago but I don’t think it’s making a difference. I feel a ball of anxiety in my chest all the time, I hear a voice in my head reminding ... View more

I’m 50 yrs old and currently suffering badly with depression. I am on medication, and it was increased a few weeks ago but I don’t think it’s making a difference. I feel a ball of anxiety in my chest all the time, I hear a voice in my head reminding me how worthless I am. I can’t talk to my family as they don’t really understand it. I don’t have anyone else to talk too, maybe some work friends but no one close. I feel that I don’t need to be here anymore - I’m tired, so very sad, lonely and depressed - I don’t think I can fight it much longer. I am safe tonight I think but it’s like an urge to end it as I feel everyone will be better off anyway. I don’t know what to do

canidothis How do I start over
  • replies: 2

I just feel like not being here would solve a lot of problems. but also,hurting myself would create new problems… feeling so sick and confused. hoping this is a good place to vent… even if no one is listening

I just feel like not being here would solve a lot of problems. but also,hurting myself would create new problems… feeling so sick and confused. hoping this is a good place to vent… even if no one is listening

timeforbed I hate everything about myself.
  • replies: 3

I'm 18 and I wished I died a long time ago. I think everything about me just burdens and annoys people around me. I think I'm ungrateful and selfish. I constantly think about what life would've been like if I had done things differently or, better ye... View more

I'm 18 and I wished I died a long time ago. I think everything about me just burdens and annoys people around me. I think I'm ungrateful and selfish. I constantly think about what life would've been like if I had done things differently or, better yet, if I was never born- it would definitely made my mom's life easier. I have nobody to miss me when I'm gone, I might as well go now.

chociloni I'm going to die
  • replies: 1

I'm at the absolute end now. I can't live with narcissistic abuse and put downs anymore. I'm being gaslit and emotionally abused. I have no options nowhere to go.

I'm at the absolute end now. I can't live with narcissistic abuse and put downs anymore. I'm being gaslit and emotionally abused. I have no options nowhere to go.

7592 Feel betrayed
  • replies: 2

I have been seeing a psychologist under a Mental Health Care Plan and on the 6th visit disclosed I was in aych emitional pain and had suicidal thoughts but no plans. The psych said he had to do a report to my gp for extra funding and asked how I felt... View more

I have been seeing a psychologist under a Mental Health Care Plan and on the 6th visit disclosed I was in aych emitional pain and had suicidal thoughts but no plans. The psych said he had to do a report to my gp for extra funding and asked how I felt about him mentioning the thoughts. I told him I had a poor relationship with my gp and needed to find another as I didn't feel he was interested in my depression. So basically gave the impression I didn't want that divulged. When I saw my gp he started quizzing me about my disclosure to the osych and I felt really uncomfortable and ambushed as I thought I had made it clear to the psych I did not have that sort of relationship with my gp. . The gp said the psych thought it was"ambiguous ideation" I think he called it. So if that is so, why did my therapist divulge this to someone I didn't feel comfortable with? Is this a breach of confidentiality? The psych didn't discuss safety plans or anything and my next psych appt was not for 3 weeks so he obviously was not too worried. I feel betrayed by my psych and I felt I had to endure a really excruciating discussion with my gp and niw I am embarassed ti go back to the gp. Now I don't want to see my therapist again either. Did he breach confidentiality when there was no clear concern that I would do something and was really just speaking out of distress.? I also now don't want to engage with another therapist aa niw I don't trust that what I say will stay confidential and it took so much for me to even get to that point with this psych.

justnia Get this off my chest
  • replies: 3

Fighting the urge to suicide. recently hit rock bottom with my health & left my job purely to focus on it. My accounts starting to go into minus and I just can’t keep up with anymore medications etc with no job atm or help from family. I’ve isolated ... View more

Fighting the urge to suicide. recently hit rock bottom with my health & left my job purely to focus on it. My accounts starting to go into minus and I just can’t keep up with anymore medications etc with no job atm or help from family. I’ve isolated myself to the point I don’t look at myself in the mirror or I feel the most disgust for myself because I’m going through pain in my body. I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel & I guess if I had to go through with it maybe writing on here might explain to whoever finds me why I did what I did. I’m mentally exhausted, sick of crying when Im the only person who hears my cries.

Scrabbling First time ECT by scrabbling
  • replies: 43

Hi to all especially mmMeKitty, the Pages here have changed and I can no longer find our thread and I haven't got the tolerance to spend hours on my phone, so I hope you see this. as I said before the roller coaster has been at Full Speed and it fina... View more

Hi to all especially mmMeKitty, the Pages here have changed and I can no longer find our thread and I haven't got the tolerance to spend hours on my phone, so I hope you see this. as I said before the roller coaster has been at Full Speed and it finally came into the station which is Ward and I had to make a decision. I cannot keep going the way I am and the doctors have mentioned a few times in the last 6 months about ECT to be honest it absolutely bloody terrified me, I know we shouldn't assume but I think everyone has seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!!! certainly didn't help people's perception. I have been drowning for a long time it's been like walking in a thick fog I was desensitized totally to life and unbearably sad and just wanted it all to stop, the staff here on ward have been fantastic and I had my first ECT yesterday I will be honest it wasn't a perfect run, my anxiety exploded as I am awful to cannulate at the best at times but when I'm stressed my veins disappear, so I think I was a bit like "when you give a pill to a cat" and you retrieve it off the curtains and off the back of the couch and from under the bed !!!! that was me, the staff were very patient and finally they managed to get a vein, I woke up with a minor headache and a little bit of shoulder blade soreness none that really wasn't sorted with some Panadol, I did have a sore neck later that night again that went away with just the hot shower, I can't speak for everybody and possibly may even sound stupid but after the treatment I had a snooze for a few hours and I did feel clearer and even if it was briefly a spark (excuse the pun) the old me made a breif appearance, yes the sadness came back in the afternoon and I'm sure I will be having a few more treatments but I had nearly forgotten the old me. So will see how things pan out,

Sorrow_bird Can't take it anymore
  • replies: 1

I have been married for 8 years to a man I loved for more than 3 years before marriage. From the very beginning of our marriage, he never liked my family because we are poor and unable to provide for dowry and jewellery for the wedding. I thought it ... View more

I have been married for 8 years to a man I loved for more than 3 years before marriage. From the very beginning of our marriage, he never liked my family because we are poor and unable to provide for dowry and jewellery for the wedding. I thought it was just a phase and it will be fine once I moved in with him. I moved from India to Australia with the promise of a better lifestyle leaving all my friends and family. Now I regret this as the worst decision of my life. He started slowly isolating me from my friends and family. I got a small job within a few months in the same company as him and tried to help my parents in clearing my student debt and dowry debt. He immediately freaked out and forbid me from maintaining any contact with my family and friends. This was because he got me the job and the money is technically his and I cannot spend them on my family. I still believed him and thought everything will be alright once we have kids. The actual trouble started from then as I insisted on both my parents come to Australia to help me with my child birth. The moment they came to our home, he started disrespecting them and started treating them like maids. During my daughter's 1st birthday, in laws started demanding for wedding jewelry and property my parents owned. A big fight happened between my dad ,my inlaws and my husband. I was forbid from maintaining any contact with them. Every bank transaction of mine were monitored. Finally It reached a point that he started spreading false stories about my parents. My parents lost their respect in the family and made them feel like culprits. My parents have disowned me now and I am also forbidden to attend their funerals. I lost everything in my life with no support from friends and family. I am suicidal thoughts for about 3 months from now and tried discussing this with my husband but the reply I got from him was " let's get separated and then you go for suicide since you will no longer be my responsibility ". I realised I am just an insignificant part of his life who is an unpaid maid and nanny. I can't take it anymore. There is no Shoulder to cry on. He doesn't allow me access to a therapist. I can't even contact a helpline as he was always monitoring me. The only thing holding me together is my daughter. If not for her I would be gone long ago

Shy_beyond_all_reason TW - depression, self harm, rape
  • replies: 1

I've spiralled right down recently and I don't even know how I got to this point. My self harm has escalated, it's more frequent and worse atm. Memories of when I was raped have been popping up in my head every other day even though it was 10yrs ago ... View more

I've spiralled right down recently and I don't even know how I got to this point. My self harm has escalated, it's more frequent and worse atm. Memories of when I was raped have been popping up in my head every other day even though it was 10yrs ago now. I don't feel comfortable getting close to anyone still even after so much time has elapsed. I'm so emotional right now and tired... oh so tired. I've recently tapered off my psych meds as none seem to help and I don't like being medicated, plus the cost. No one wants to be around someone who is depressed, they just see you as miserable and horrible to be around. I don't want to burden anyone with my constant low mood anyway. I feel so very unwell mentally atm but my debilitating anxiety means I can't make phone calls so helplines are out. I couldn't even bring myself to go to the hospital today when my self harm was getting out of hand. I see a psychologist regularly atm but she is stretched thin and often booked out and sometimes it just gets so hard to cope with anything between sessions. I'm seeing my gp next week with my psychs recommendation but she'll just put me on another antidepressant I don't want to be on. Someone said to me today in a text that they hope I'm ok, when I said I wasn't but thank you for the message, they didn't reply. I know they said something to my boss who just went into damage control/prevention and pretended they care about my mental health but I know from past experience they don't. I feel so lost, sad and alone and I don't know what to do.