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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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k0d3s Why am i doing this to myself
  • replies: 4

Hey all, about a week ago i lost an extremely close mate to suicide due to him being really depressed and always being put down. This had really hit me extremely hard and killed me on the inside. A few days later i lost a very very close family frien... View more

Hey all, about a week ago i lost an extremely close mate to suicide due to him being really depressed and always being put down. This had really hit me extremely hard and killed me on the inside. A few days later i lost a very very close family friend to unknown course during the night. We had the funeral recently and that day really hurt me deep down. I tried to just kms to just end the pain and suffering i had gone through for the last several years but I couldn't lose my GF and I didnt want to take the easy way out. Then on Friday i went out and purchased a lot of alcohol. Friday i started to drink a few here and there then on Saturday everything was to much and i just drank 1 after the other. At about 9pm that night i texted my GF saying that i never want to talk to her nor see her ever again and shes fat. None of this is true, she is the most amazing, beautiful, kind hearted and caring person you could ever imagine. I love her so so so deeply you dont understand. Sunday I spoke to her and i read all the messages i had sent and if im honest after reading them i didnt even want to talk to myself. It hurt that much with everything i had said all because i decided to drink. Everyday i have tried and tried to talk to her and shes responded here and there then earlier today she called me and i broke down instantly. I honestly thought she never wanted to even speak to me ever again but she did, after everything i had said and done, after all the emotions i killed. She still wanted to talk and i tell you that talk was the most emotional talk i have had in a long time. I know that she still doesnt quite want to talk to me and thats understandable and im honestly just hoping we will be able to have the good chats and laughs like we use to. I need help with knowing where i need to go from this, im already trying to get myself into therapy i just need to find a place.

Emily12346 I’m so lonely right now
  • replies: 2

Right now I have felt so lonely. My friends have been hating on me lately of what I did to one of my friend’s . Couple of weeks ago, I told a school councillor about my friend that I was worried about. I have been worried about her for a long time be... View more

Right now I have felt so lonely. My friends have been hating on me lately of what I did to one of my friend’s . Couple of weeks ago, I told a school councillor about my friend that I was worried about. I have been worried about her for a long time because she selfs harms a lot and I couldn’t bare knowing this info and something bad happening and I didn’t do anything about it. She has been in denial of whole thing and she always says that she is fine, which I know her so well that she was definitely not fine. My other best friend agreed with me that she needed help and that we didn’t want anything to happen , so we agreed to tell someone we trusted. We decided to have a talk about our concerns about our friend and tell her that we supported her, I mentioned that both of us will have to tell someone because we are worried about u. Having past mental health problems I knew that getting help was the right thing to do and it helps so much, but after I mentioned it to my friend who was struggling, my other best friend who supported me with my choices said , she didn’t agree on telling someone about this and she said that she wouldn’t support me if I went through with this.Anyway couple days later got more advice from other close friends and they 100% agreed on telling someone about it and that it is the right thing to do , even if she hates u afterwards , it could save her life. Anyway I told the school councillor about everything going on, they said that they would talk to her , ring the parents up and take further action from there. They said to tell her to give her the heads up instead of just surprising her with this info. Me and my other close friends approached her and told her everything and we mentioned things on why we did this like it’s because we love u so much and can’t bare the thought of something bad happening,that’s why we did this etc. she went silent and was chill to my surprise but I could tell she was upset and mad. After going back to class , my friend who was struggling with self harm, yelled out to my friend who claimed that she would support me with trying to get our other friend help, and said “they told”, my friend approached the struggling one and said “how dare they, they are terrible friends.” I knew after that, that she didn’t want to help my struggling friend , she was using this to get closer to my other friend because she was always jealous with how close we were.Now none of my friends are talking to me and have left me on opened on everything because I did a terrible thing, they are acting like I don’t exist and that I was never friends with them.it was one of the hardest things I have had to do, but I knew it was the right thing , but now I have zero friends so I feel so lonely and I feel like no one even cared about me. Other people are telling me that she will realise that u were the good friend and that ur friend will forgive u , but it doesn’t feel like it ,and now I’m on school holidays so everyone is hanging out and I’m just home alone , bored shitless and waiting for the days to finish and sometimes I just want to disappear because I feel like no one will ever love me like I love everybody else. Did I do the right thing?

Gizmo6 I’m drowning, and can’t find my way to the surface
  • replies: 1

I feel defeated. The things they say are the 5 most stressful you can go through in life, I’ve experienced them all plus more within the past 2 years, and so much trauma for my entire life. After 4 seperate deaths of my nan, mum, friend and beloved d... View more

I feel defeated. The things they say are the 5 most stressful you can go through in life, I’ve experienced them all plus more within the past 2 years, and so much trauma for my entire life. After 4 seperate deaths of my nan, mum, friend and beloved dog, and then my relationship breakdown on top of that all in just the past 5 months I have reached my limit and absolutely ready to give up, and give myself peace, finally. Why should I stay, to save others from grief and sadness if I were to go? When it means I have to TRY to live, to survive, in deep pain and anguish every single day of my life? Try to function enough to actually get through each day, working to earn money to have a roof and food. Who has the right to be free of the pain? Them, or me? Who is more selfish?Being told that things will get better in time - I just don’t believe it. My next life time maybe? I’ve been struggling for a very long time, and no matter how hard I try, things get worse, not better. More, new trauma, new events, it goes on and on.I go to a psych, walk daily, on meds, try self help tools etc. Nothing is helping, nothing. It feels hopeless. And frankly, I’m over it. My other dog is the only reason I’m still here today.I don’t know why I’m posting here or what I expect or want from it, maybe just to feel understood.

Makinupaname Need to get it out
  • replies: 1

So, feeling unhappy, almost where I was a few months back where I contemplated ending it. I have kids and a fairly supportive partner if I would let him in. I can't put the pressure of what's in my head on people who know me. My head and heart feel s... View more

So, feeling unhappy, almost where I was a few months back where I contemplated ending it. I have kids and a fairly supportive partner if I would let him in. I can't put the pressure of what's in my head on people who know me. My head and heart feel so heavy. I have trouble coping with the kids. Coping with the fact that I was sexually abused by a stranger near a school and now I have a sex offender across from the school. There are so many thoughts, I don't know what to focus on. We can't afford to get help. I feel fat, worthless and it's a vicious cycle of drinking and eating and then fat shaming and depression. I would rather go for a walk or be outside but there is so much to do in the house, homework, cleaning, cooking, getting ready for tomoro. I don't even have time to do everything I need to do, let alone want to do. I try and have a minute to myself but them I feel guilty and worse because there is so much need from everyone else.

Ash-H I don’t want to hurt anymore
  • replies: 2

I’m so sick of hurting. It’s always just one challenge after another. Nothing in my life has been easy. I’ve worked so hard to survive the pain. I try and do all of the recommended stuff, I try and take care it myself, I reach out and connect with lo... View more

I’m so sick of hurting. It’s always just one challenge after another. Nothing in my life has been easy. I’ve worked so hard to survive the pain. I try and do all of the recommended stuff, I try and take care it myself, I reach out and connect with loved ones, I try to attempt hobbies, I read books, listen to podcasts, I journal, I’m medicated, I have a psychologist. I do all the right things and nothing works. I’m always hurting. I always have this undercurrent of sadness. No matter what I try it’s always there. Im so tired of being sad. Im so tired of hurting. Im so tired of everything being hard. I just want the pain to go away but im too scared to take it away.

blueeyedanxiety Struggling after loss
  • replies: 5

I’m really struggling after losing my dad a month and a half ago. He was the one in my family who made me feel included and that I belonged there and now with him gone I feel so alone. The suicidal thoughts (which I’ve had in the past) are now creepi... View more

I’m really struggling after losing my dad a month and a half ago. He was the one in my family who made me feel included and that I belonged there and now with him gone I feel so alone. The suicidal thoughts (which I’ve had in the past) are now creeping in! I would I hope never act on them as I have lost my youngest sons dad 11 years ago as well and he has no one if I was to leave too but to be honest that’s probably the only thing keeping me here. My sisters promised to include me more but that has not happened in the end. My mum is grieving herself and doesn’t seem to want me around she actively seeks others out before me yet me being there for her most of the time ! Dad taught me family is the thing that matters the most so I’m trying so hard to be there but I just feel so alone! I understand everyone is grieving but it was like this before he passed. When dad passed my relationship got better with my oldest son (20 he long story but after youngest sons dad died I gave my older three boys to their dad as I was grieving so hard and he feels like I abandoned him which I understand) but yesterday he hugged my mum and didn’t even say hello to me ! That broke my heart as I thought we’d made progress! My anxiety lately is debilitating I can’t seem to do the simple things I feel so stuck. I feel like I can’t breathe properly and I struggle to put one foot in front of the other ! I have complex PTSD and have worked so hard to be a better person and I have been the best mentally up until dad died I have ever been ! I’d have my bad days but they wouldn’t take me as long to manage . I just feel like I don’t matter my feelings don’t matter I’m not wanted and I’ll never be enough for anyone. I feel like everyone would be better off without me and I feel like I’m just a hindrance! Again I’d never act on these feelings my youngest son is enough to pull me through anything and I know if that wasn’t going to pull me through it I would get more help! I have a psych appointment tomorrow but this is a new psych and I’m feeling like he isn’t getting me however I’m going to give it one more shot before I stop ! I have a lot of health issues (heart and stomach ) and I can’t even get in to see the dr for mental health plans as a single mum on jobseeker I can’t afford to go see one. Anyways that’s all I can think of for now ! I just feel so sad and I’m so sick of feeling sad and feeling like I’m not enough and I don’t matter !

Tomsgone It's all I can think about
  • replies: 10

I think a lot of the time about suicide. Fantasies mostly. It could be any time or any place.I hate these thoughts. I hate myself for having them. I hate myself for being so weak. I often dream of suicide. It's something which permeates my thoughts. ... View more

I think a lot of the time about suicide. Fantasies mostly. It could be any time or any place.I hate these thoughts. I hate myself for having them. I hate myself for being so weak. I often dream of suicide. It's something which permeates my thoughts. It's never far away.A lot of the time I don't feel like I am worthy of treatment or kindness or patience. I feel like I deserve to feel this way. I should be punished. I don't know why. But I know deep down I am not worthy of love or care. I shouldn't be taking up people's valuable time when they could be helping people who are worthy and actually would respond to treatment and follow through.I am an abject failure.Welcome to my pity party. I am really having a bad day. Have made calls to mental health services in my region. Appt booked with psyche for 10am. Just got to make it through the night. So long as I don't end up sleeping in the shed I think it will be ok.

SadSoulGirl Waiting caused me to slip
  • replies: 4

I had been waiting months to see a psychiatrist, when I was finally told that my referral had been accepted and that I'd be contacted for an appointment soon. That was five weeks ago. I have no idea if or when I'll have an appointment, and the consta... View more

I had been waiting months to see a psychiatrist, when I was finally told that my referral had been accepted and that I'd be contacted for an appointment soon. That was five weeks ago. I have no idea if or when I'll have an appointment, and the constant waiting has become too much, I've been left without help for too long. Tonight was the last straw. I self-harmed and I barely got anything out of it, and yet I'm also now committed to long sleeves for weeks, which is a pain in the ass I just want answers as to why I am the way that I am. I want to find out if I have a diagnosable condition so that I can understand why I struggle in the way that I do, and so I can manage it, instead of feeling like a broken failure of a person.

tt_m HSC feels like too much
  • replies: 5

I am currently doing the HSC at school and it is crushing me. I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts for a long time now, and have self-harmed due to this pressure, but I'm stable. I'm nearly at the end of it all now, I just have one more trials ... View more

I am currently doing the HSC at school and it is crushing me. I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts for a long time now, and have self-harmed due to this pressure, but I'm stable. I'm nearly at the end of it all now, I just have one more trials exam to complete but my previous marks are not good and I'm struggling to imagine a life for myself after HSC. People in my family are very high achievers, getting 90+ atars and I just feel so deeply that I'm worth nothing. Other people seem to not struggle at all and get really high marks without trying, but for me it's very hard to even go to school. Everyone has told me that if I can't even finish highschool I won't ever succeed at uni, so even though I'm almost done it doesn't seem worth it at all. I feel like I'm being so dramatic and that no one will take me seriously, but I'm really running out of hope for the future.

MattN Suicidal 20 yr old
  • replies: 3

Um hi, my name is Matt and Im from Aus, I’m 20 years old and am experiencing severe depression and suicidal ideation. I don’t expect anyone to read this but I’ll speak anyways, ever since I was 16 I’ve wanted to die, I am not able to deal with life s... View more

Um hi, my name is Matt and Im from Aus, I’m 20 years old and am experiencing severe depression and suicidal ideation. I don’t expect anyone to read this but I’ll speak anyways, ever since I was 16 I’ve wanted to die, I am not able to deal with life stressors very able despite having been through therapy (which did actually help alot), I’m tired all the time, I’ve suffered through 3 different addictions and faced them alone, I never really tell anyone how I feel or how much I hate myself, I dont want to waste their time with my personal stuff, they’d be better off without me anyways. I’m a lonely individual I don’t have anyone special, nor do I deserve anyone like that or have a meaningful relationship, all I can think is ending everything, deep down in my heart I know the world is better without me in it, I’m a waste of time and space. Like I said I don’t expect anyone to read this but if you do I am sorry if its a little incoherent.