Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis.
Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals.
The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt.
The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play.
Nice to hear from you again although for the reason. Yes, giving up control of yur life is a huge thing. Doesn't help when I say you are not giving up that much because that's not how you see it. I too get cranky when I find medical people discussing me. It's easier when I know why and I feel it's a good reason. Recently two oncologists were talking about me and the diagnosis of a melanoma. After more tests it was decided I did not have a melanoma (phew) but I wondered what they had discussed. It felt odd to know I was the subject of discussion but not know what was said. Yes it made me feel I had lost control of myself.
I suppose the point is when is it reasonable for someone or two to talk about us and when is it gossip. I have tried to not get upset when I feel the conversation is unjustified which is hard. I am teaching myself to look at these things a little more objectively but of course my emotions get in the way. I think I am getting better at this and was grateful (wow) that the oncologists had that conversation. So not always a bad thing. It does depend on your previous experiences how upsetting this can be. Have you discussed a way to resolve how reasonable or not a conversation is about you? i wonder if you have been able to talk about this to your psych.
I have no real answers to your problem other than that you give the MH people no reason for their discussions. And yes I understand this can be even more difficult. I do encourage you perhaps set boundaries for yourself about reacting to your perceived loss of control. when is it OK to be upset and when not.
Despite my ideas I do get how this whole topic impinges on your life and the origins of this. I suspect your MH people do understand but are at a loss why it is so important to you. Have you talked about these horrible experiences to them? Yes another letting go of control.
Sophie gave you some phone numbers for when you feel particularly bad. Do you find it easier to talk to a stranger? The people at the Suicide Call Back Service are fantastic. Perhaps you could set up some online counselling or simply speak to whoever is answering the phone about your experiences.
Thank you for checking in. I sometimes contact SCBS, but they are just really hard to get hold off. Other ones I don't really find helpful or am scared of talking to.
Hi Mary
Thank you for your reply. I don't know a solution about the control issue. It makes sense what you're saying, but when I try to put some sense or objectivity into my thoughts, I get even more confused. I don't think I can do that right now, I don't feel well enough to get more confused. I'll try to be back some other time when I can think more straight. I'll be ok I have appts today.
I’ve realised that there are only a couple of little things listed in my ‘what I can do to help myself’ section in my prevention plan and they’re not really a strategy to crawl out of the hole. Not a good thing, I need them, can’t think straight.
I hope you don't mind me coming to chat to you, I just noticed what you said that you have realised that your safety plan is not up to date and that is actually a really great realisation. That means that you now have to option to do some work in this space and to think about what you do need and what works for you. This is really great and very powerful too, anything that helps is a help...sorry if that is cheesy.
I am wondering if you have seen or used the Beyond Blue app which is called BeyondNow..I will put a link here for you:
The really great thing is with this too is that you can get some help to fill in it if you need to and also provides a good tool for others who are close to you to know what you need and how best to support you, which is really great as it gives you the support you need but also lets the ones you love feel like they are actually helping.
If you need some help to fill it in you can also call Beyond Blue and chat to one of the team too who can walk you through this and talk with you about some ideas.
Also times are a little different now with physical distancing and COVID rules so what you have done in the past to stay safe and to get support might not be possible right now so it is good to think about what else you could do and to update the plan so it is current and relevant to you right now.
Huge hugs to you yggy and I am really pleased to hear you have acknowledged that your plan needs updating, well done to you.
Hi Ktac - no problem. Did read your post and related to it.
In lockdown i can imagine many struggle more with SH
it's a hard time, hope you are okay. send you support.
To the person i talked to on the phone i want to say thank you for listening to me at my lowest point. I got help not only from my doctor, psychologist and police welfare check but my bank made a welfare check when i was low and they provided financial support.
I am.now a lot better and glad i took the first phone call. I hope i stay well.
I am just a guest here now as will continue with outside support as not ready to chat on forums due to pain i felt by certain people on my comments. On coping during corona virus.
What if someone enforces a safety plan on you that makes you feel even more hopeless?
Like taking all the keys away from the doors of the house?
Or subtle things like cancelling psychology appointments? or telling you to do Virtual EMDR without actually a psychologist doing the reprocessing stage with you fully because of distress? Then booking appointment with a new psychologist (okay, the person previously was still being trained for EMDR.. but there's a wait)
Or telling them you wanted to go out to Uni and being told "I don't want you to go"
Or things like initially, I don't want you to go and do exercise outside re COVID; I think you should do exercise on the Wii and get in the habit of doing that not outside exercise?
I can hear that they safety plan that has been put in place is someone else's version of what they believe will keep you safe, and I can also hear that this is not working for you. I can understand totally that the person who has made what they think is a great plan for you is so very desperate to keep you safe that they think they are doing the right thing.
If I can make a suggestion, maybe what could work is if you downloaded something like the BeyondNow app, I will put the link here for you:
My suggestion is to work through this app with the person who has put some of these safety measures in place and to explain to them that the ones that they have created for you are not helping you and making you feel hopeless, however you want to show them that you are serious about keeping safe and that you will use this app and if together you can fill in the sections and create a safety plan that works for you and also gives them some comfort that you will remain safe.
Do you think that this could be something that might work for you?
Does the fear of surviving another suicide attempt count as a safety plan? I don't mean for this to sound like a smart arse comment, genuinely curious.
