Depression

[Chelsea_R]

So I’m just really lost at the moment, definitely have a trigger warning ⚠️

so, I’m 24 and I recently left my job due to them not treating me correctly, I’ve always suffered bad depression since I was about 13-14. I’ve had 2 abortions which has made my depression 100 times worse.

Since leaving my job, my partner of 2 years wants me to find a new one as I have no income and can’t apply for Centrelink because my old job is making things hard for me. I told him that I’m struggling really bad mentally right now but he thinks it’s just to get out of working and I don’t feel super supported by him right now.

my depression is getting to the point of suicidal thoughts, no motivation to do anything even getting out of bed and talking to my family has been an effort. I feel this intense pressure to have my life together from everyone and it’s something that I just can’t do right now.

ive always struggled with talking to anyone about my mental health and that’s always made it harder for me, I’m socially awkward at times and that’s one thing that I feel I can’t do is just open up not even to my mum or partner.

idk what the point of writing in this forum is I guess I just need to get things off my chest and get some advice and kind words

[Sophie_M]

Hi Chelsea R,
 
Thank you for posting and joining the Beyond Blue Community. We want to welcome you here and applaud you for taking the step to reach out for support. Often the first step is the most difficult, so you have done tremendously well so far. We are sorry to hear that you have been suffering from depression and we hear how hard you have been trying to work through this since you were young.
 
We are glad to hear that you have a support network like your family, even though you have been feeling pressured by them, what other supports do you have besides them? Is there anyone that you trust that you would be able to open up to and maybe tell them how hard things have gotten for you? Often if we’re putting on a brave face or are avoiding opening up, they won’t know how much to support to give or in what way you would prefer the support to be given.
 
If you would like to talk to someone we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
We will also be checking in with you separately to see how we can support you further.

Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[Isabella_]

Hi Chelsea,

I appreciate that you shared your story here. I hope you can consider the forums a space for you to get things off of your chest. We're all here to listen and support you, free of judgement and with warm open arms.

I can see that things have been really tough for you right now and you're feeling stuck, and under a lot of pressure. From what you've written, it sounds like you've been through a lot of tough life events and perhaps lack an understanding support system. I'm really sorry to hear that your partner isn't understanding, and thinks you're just trying to get out of working.. That is really unfair, especially since you find it difficult to talk about your mental health.

I'm here to tell you that your depression is very real, and no one has the right to dismiss you, invalidate you, or tell you that it's imaginary. You're deserving of empathy, compassion, and the space to be honest with what you're going through with your loved ones. I can see that you're really struggling right now and you're finding everyday tasks difficult to do. I'm wondering if you have family or friends around you that you feel like you can talk to about what you're going through?

You mentioned that you've been having suicidal thoughts.. How long have you had them for?

How would you feel about contacting your GP and getting a mental health care plan, and seeing a professional?

If you ever feel like you might act on these thoughts, don't hesitate to contact Lifeline or one of the services mentioned by Sophie.

Again, I can see that you're really struggling with your depression right now. You are valid for what you're going through, and you don't deserve to feel shame or guilt for being honest about your mental health.

I hope you're taking care of yourself, I'm here for a chat if you need it ❤️

[Adalaide]

Hi Chelsea,

I just want to say that you should be so proud of yourself for sharing how you are feeling. It can be so hard to do this when you are struggling.

Getting some support from professionals can be extremely helpful in a situation like yours where you feel like you are lacking support from those around you. Although it can be daunting, a professional can help give you guidance and strategies to help you heal and to find a pathway that will work for you.

As Isabella said, depression is real and it is difficult so try to validate your feelings as much as possible while also remembering that your thoughts are not fact. While it is ok to feel not ok, not everything going on in our brain is correct or rational. This is another thing that a professional can help with as they are able to help us identify strategies to gain more control over our thoughts.

I hope something in this helps!