Hi 2004
You should be incredibly proud of yourself for having done so much of the hard work involved in having been free of SH for so long. I think as we graduate/rise to greater levels of self understanding and challenge, there definitely come next level challenges that can be felt in a number of ways (mentally, physically and even in a soulful kind of sense).
It's a challenge for any counselor to bring out certain facets of us that give us the freedom to talk about our problems. Whether they're able to bring out the analyst in us that'll analyse why we feel the way we do or perhaps the feeler in us that'll lead us to vent exactly how we're feeling life, it can be about bringing out the best in us under the circumstances (the best facet/s of us for the job at hand). A great counselor is a great guide who leads us to discover and utilise the best in our self.
Your feelings are completely valid. All feelings are valid because all feelings are telling. We don't have to face some overwhelming trauma to feel the way we do at times. I think, sometimes we can be conditioned to see our problems as small and as things that should be dismissed, especially when compared to other people's enormous challenges (say like with trauma). So, we get into the habit of dismissing our problems, our challenges. Such conditioning can sound a little like 'You're being dramatic, just calm down', 'You're way too sensitive, you need to toughen up', 'Other people have it worse', 'You should be grateful for the life you have, instead of complaining about things' and the list goes on. The problem with being taught to dismiss is...things build until they become intolerable. If on some invisible set of scales we have all we should feel grateful for and on the other side the problems or challenges that can be gradually building, you can definitely feel the tipping point at times.
With the freedom to talk about feelings being kind of conditioned out of us in some ways, I've found it to be an interesting challenge to bring it all back into play. While we can be strong for others, sometimes what they and we need most is honesty. Stuff like 'How hard and horrible is life at times, hey? Don't you wish others would stop saying triggering stuff like 'You need to toughen up'. Wouldn't you love to just slap 'em when they say that kind of stuff. Don't you just wish people would be more sensitive, so they could get a better sense of how we're feeling life, while leading us to see the best way forward. What's wrong with people?'. In being so honest and open, I've reached the conclusion at times that our life can be lacking a lot of feelers and seers and that can sometimes be the greatest problem of all.
