Bad Deprssion

[Nelson001]

Hi I'm new to this. I have clinical depression or so I think.I have had depression on and off for quite a few years, but nothing like I'm going through at the moment. I don't know whether this is a bad depression or am I going nuts. I haven't come across anyone who has had depression like this.
Is there anyone out there who might be suffering from the same.

[Nelson001]

I'm going through public system which comes with a mental health team. They decide what you can do. I'm on medication and they won't do a ECT until I'm off them. and then I would have to wait for thee months. I don't know if I'll be around by then. My anxiety has become too much, I have to find some relief somehow. This horrible feeling is too much, there is no break. I would like to go private, but I'm retired and can't afford it. I have health insurance but it's only hospital cover. I don't know what to do.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Nelson,

Thanks for reaching out tonight. We are so sorry to hear that you have been struggling so much with your anxiety. It sounds like you are feeling powerless at the moment in accessing the supports and treatements you needs. We understand how tough that must be.

We're concerned to hear that you feel you might not be around in the future to continue treatment. Please know that you are not alone in this, and there is support available. We are getting in touch with you privately to offer some extra support. We would also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). If at any time you become an immediate danger to yourself, you need to contact 000 (triple zero) as this is an emergency.

You might be interested in reading some of our pages for some advice:

• "Anxiety management strategies"
• "Feeling suicidal"

It looks like you've already made a lot of connections with community members on the forums. We hope that this is of some comfort to you during this difficult time. 

[Guest_4643]

Hi Nelson.

Please hold on, I believe in you. I know how hard it is. You can push through.

Please reach out to a helpline and/or 000 if it's an emergency, although you can of course get help here but it's not immediate.

Are you safe right now?

[Nelson001]

Hi mb20lover's, It's 6 in the morning and I feel like shit. I don't seem to be able to get a break. All my thoughts are so negative If there is anyone out there that feels like this, I feel sorry for them. This is having such an effect on my brain. How do I get it so it's not so severe? Is there a pill I can take? I'm on an atypical antidepressants. I tried to taper off but things became too severe. I'm just trying to find something that might help me out of this mess I'm in.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Nelson. I'm sorry you feel crappy. I'm the same, my thoughts are so negative too, so I get it.

I'm not a professional, nobody here is, so you would be best discussing meds etc with a GP and Psychiatrist.

[Nelson001]

Hi mb20lover, thanks for the reply. It feels nice when someone replies. you don't feel so lonely. I have just retired and sitting at home all day, doing nothing all day doesn't help. I'm annoyed that there is nothing I can do to get myself feeling better. It's hard to just have to grin and bear it. I hate it. I just don't know how it will all end. You in the same boat eh. I feel sorry for you. and anyone who has to go through something like this. How do you manage to get through each day? All the best to you, mb20lover

[sunnyl20]

Hi Nelson001,

I am really sorry you are in such a dark place right now. There are no words to describe the pain that depression can put a person through. I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now, but it sounds like you are really struggling with finding the support that you need. It is very difficult when you feel like the support that you need is not affordable or accessible. I wish there was more we could do to help. Have you considered talking to your GP about creating a plan for the next couple of months to get you through so that you feel better supported to get through the time before you can commence ECT?

Please know this forum is here for you. We see your struggle and we want you to know that you are not alone. It may feel like there is no one and that your thoughts will consume you and that that pain will not end, but you are not alone. Please reach out when you feel up to it and when you want to or need to. Please take care of yourself and keep safe.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Nelson.

Thanks, I don't really do anything either, I have no life. I've tried to meet people and join groups to do so, etc. I don't have a job and never have and drive, and I'm 21, left school early. I'm a failure, sigh.

I've tried to get Psychologists but I just keep having bad experiences so I give up. I have a GP and Psychiatrist though.

I don't really get through the days well.

[Nelson001]

Hi ya mb20lover,,,,,,,We sure are a right pair, It's sad to hear your lot. Your too young to be going through shit like this. Are you on medicine at all? I'm 65 but I have had depression for the last 20 years but nothing compared to what I'm going through at the moment. Surely between your GP and your Psychiatrist, they can come up with something. When all is exhausted there is ECT, but that is a last resort. That's what I want but I'm on suboxone and I have to get off that and then I have to wait 3 months. That's going public. Ging private I could probably get it done but I can't afford it. You have a good night. Take care

[Guest_4643]

Thank you.

Yes I'm on SSRI antidepressants, I've tried a few antidepressants and have since August 2019, so they're kind of still new to me (I didn't know much about them). I've tried trycliclic antidepressants and other types also. I'm not sure if my current ones are working which I've been on for a few months.

Yeah my Psychiatrist is more helpful than my GP, he hasn't done much. I haven't had ECT before, I don't have health insurance either.