Hi richo85
Completely understandable how enraging almost constant crying can be, especially coming from a baby. It does have quite a triggering sound and feel to it. So many mixed emotions - pure frustration, heightened intolerance, complete resentment (for disturbing the peace so often) etc. Btw, pure frustration is so much more intense than basic frustration, just like heightened intolerance is far more intense than basic intolerance. It's incredible how such emotions can begin to shift internal dialogue. Can recall what it was like when I experienced post natal depression with both my kids. The crying aspect was always a trigger in one way or another when it came to making things so much worse. Coupled with exhaustion, it's like the volume of feeling and desperation is turned way up.
Do you know why your son's crying so much? There'll be good reason. It's said that all behaviour is a form of communication. What is he trying to communicate? Pain, hunger, being over tired (irritibility), lack of stimulation (boredom), need for comfort/reassurance, wet or dirty nappy? May have forgot 1 or 2 other factors. Then there can be a combo, much harder to work out. With both my kids, I ended up bottle feeding them because I didn't have enough of my own supply. Before I put them on the bottle, they cried because they were starving (without me realising) and because they were so desperate to sleep yet were starving at the same time. They just couldn't get to sleep. Until I put them on the bottle, I felt like I was going insane with the crying. The dialogue would get pretty dark too, 'I hate you', 'I'm a hopeless mother, a waste of space. Everyone would be better off without me especially my child/children' etc etc. The crying and exhaustion can really mess with you.
If you look at the crying as an alarm, what's your son alarming you to? He's trying to tell you something you need to know. Your challenge is to solve the mystery. Do you have any clues? If you can work out what the alarms relate to and manage giving him what he needs, you'll find peace. I know, easy for me to say, my babies are now 17 and 20. I have never forgotten the torment. It can be mind altering. I really feel for you. Btw, is your partner trying to work it out too? Brainstorming together or solving mysteries together becomes about mutual support and problem solving.
