A somewhat Positive Achievement

Eclipse0433 · ‎01-02-2021

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to share a somewhat important milestone for myself. A few days ago I went to a GP to get a mental health plan done. This was huge for me as I have a fear of doctors and feel like I don't deserve help. While I experienced some of the highest anxiety levels in my life leading up and on the day of my GP visit it went relatively ok. The GP I saw was respectful and understanding of mental health which is rare within the medical field. Also just a random question but has anyone done the dass 21 assessment? How did u find it? I think as a mental health assessment it isn't too bad.

The plan for myself is to start the process to go to a headspace clinic. This is inevitably going to be a long process as the wait times are always long (I have been to headspace before when I was younger). While this is not their fault as they do their best while fighting a difficult battle, it is hard knowing I will have to continue to fight my battle alone for a while longer. I know this sounds selfish as there are people going through worse things. To complicate things where I live we have gone back into lockdown (I am sure u will all figure out which state I am in so hello to my fellow West Aussies). While it is only 5 days and I both understand and respect the need for this lockdown (we have to do our best to protect the vulnerable and each other), it does mean my wait for headspace will be even longer. I know this sounds selfish as there are bigger things going on but I am really struggling.

Anyways enough about me. While I have the energy to write up a post I just want to apologise for not offering more support to everyone in this online community. I find that whenever I go to type a response or offer support it just doesn't sound right. I worry about saying the wrong thing. So while I may not respond, I promise that I see u, I hear u and I support u.

Jstar49 · ‎12-03-2021

Hi Eclipse,

If money is not an issue, you can see a counsellor regularly. They go thru training and are often very good at the listening part, which I have found sometimes the medical professionals are not so good at.
it is daunting to make those phone calls isn’t it. And difficult to talk about our problems, ask for help. Be able to say what it is, and what sort of help we need. Perhaps you have someone who could help you....? Make that call for you, you know, like, I have my friend here who needs some help, blah blah. Then they can put you on the phone when it’s necessary.

the most important thing is, you getting assistance. Maybe think about it like you have a toothache. You might put it off for a bit because the dentist is a bit scary, and it’s gona hurt a bit. But really, going to the dentist and getting the professional to help you is better than sitting at home with the pain.
courage is not the absence of fear, it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
Hugs

J*

Eclipse0433 · ‎20-03-2021

For the past two months I have been seeking help. I have made the effort!!!! Yet medical professionals still have the audacity to accuse me of not trying hard enough!!!!!! Then the irony is these same professionals refuse to refer me to services. They just say if u are having suicidal thoughts show up to the ED. Geez thanks obviously I don't matter unless I am legally liability because I am having suicidal thoughts. And like I am gonna tell a medical professional with no experience in mental health the truth about my current state of mind. WA u are letting your people down. Now wonder so many people don't get help before its too late. I sure know that after this experience I no longer want help. Why should I allow people who have tried every way to shrug me off to another service to help me. No not happening. U lost your chance. No wonder people are pessimist. Interactions with the mental health system here just leave u angry and despondent. It's disgusting. If I hadn't lost all my hope before this I sure have now.

Sophie_M · ‎20-03-2021

Hi Eclipse,

We can hear how frustrated you are with the mental health system and we know how much of a struggle it can be navigating it and finding treatment and support that it suitable for you. We're so sorry that you are having this experience. We want you to know that you are valuable and worthy of the support you need. We are reaching out to you privately to check in and offer some support.

These experiences of seeking help and not receiving the help you need may have discouraged you from doing so again. We always urge people like yourself not to be put off by one or even a couple of negative or unhelpful experiences, as what works is different for everyone and things can always improve with the right treatment and support. If you can, we'd suggest reaching out to perhaps a different GP if the one you are currently seeing if not helpful with referrals.

Alternatively, you mentioned that you are currently studying at university. University's often offer free counselling for students without the need for a referral. It may be worth investigating if this is something your university offers. We hear that you are perhaps not comfortable calling - would you feel more comfortable dropping by the office to see if you can book an appointment that way? Otherwise, could you ask a parent or trusted friend to help you book an appointment over the phone? Please feel free to reach out here whenever you feel up to it.

Guest_4643 · ‎20-03-2021

Hey Eclipse0433. I'm sorry the MH system failed you. It's failed me many times too and I'm in VIC.

I relate to everything you said there.

Jstar49 · ‎20-03-2021

Hi Eclipse,

Wow that's really hard, and it sux. I'm so sorry.

I don't know what to say to help, becuse it just sux.

Sophie, bless her, has given some ideas. I hope you find it helpful.

Please remember that, as Sophie has already said, you are worth it, and if you believe that then you will persist. There are good ppl out there. Do as much as you can do, to look after yourself, to reach out for help, to be able to discern who you can trust with your story, with your bravery. It might be good to have a test question for Health professionals. Something which lets you know if it is safe to open up with them.

I just googled it and came up with this BB link, which if it was me would definitely help me feel more confident and in control in my Dr's office....

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/supporting-yourself/questions-to-ask-your-health-professional

Can i ask what avenues you have tried so far? Have you been able to talk to your GP? Or is there other services in your area which you have tried? Often it is hard to access the help we need, at a time that isn't an emergency. I know I often make the appt, and the can be sitting in the waiting room, thinking, "I'm ok, I don't need help" Luckily when this happened with my new GP my emotions completely betrayed me. As soon as she asked a couple qu's I was a mess and she could see I needed help.

It's ok to be a mess Eclipse. We don't have to have it together. I can hear that your trust in the system is copping a beating right now, and it's a common story, not good but certainly is many ppl's experience, as Tayla has said. The thing to value is you. This is your life, and you are worth it.

With care,

J*

Eclipse0433 · ‎29-03-2021

Hi it has been a while, and still I find myself just scraping by everyday. Jstar49 in response to your question I have tried a multitude of avenues. I got my mental health plan done back in January. Afterwards I had a session at a psychology clinic close by. This didn't work out as I didn't click with the psychologist and their appointment times were very unusual. I felt like this psychologist was very forceful in pursuing certain lines of thought.

I then went back to my GP and got another referral. This time to another clinic. I went to this clinic and while I was willing to give it a few appointments as I quite liked the psychologist, the psychologist told me she didn't quite know how to deal with me. In addition, she also kept asking me why didn't u tell anyone u were struggling earlier? Ummmmm maybe cause mental health is so stigmatised. There was also the problem that I would only be able to get appointment every 6 weeks which for my current situation wasn't going to work out.

I have also as a result of a self inflicted injury come into contact with a few hospitals. None of which would allow me to see a psychiatrist or get a referral to their services. As since I have gotten my mental health plan it obviously means I am fine right. This is a very dangerous assumption to make. I am now currently waiting to hear back from headspace. I went on their waiting list in February and the wait time was 10 weeks. So I should hear from them soon. I just really want to be able to tell someone what is going on.

I recently had a thought that scared me. Instead of my usual thoughts of why do I want to take my own life? I instead had the thought of why not? This is scary to me as it shows how desperate I am. I mean my mum asked me to go do a small shop today and the anxiety I am experiencing in preparation for it is ridiculous. I just want to curl up in a ball and never come out again. I just want someone to recognise that I am not ok, that I don't want to become a part of the statistics. There is a part of me that wants to get better but it just seems nobody is willing to help. I am doomed to fail.

Anyways I will stop there for now. Hope u are all well!

Sophie_M · ‎29-03-2021

Hi Eclipse0433,

Thank for checking in with us. We're so sorry to hear you are still having difficulty navigating the mental health system to get the right support for you and that your thoughts have taken a new turn which it sounds like is frightening you somewhat.

Please know you can always call our support service on 1300 22 4636 or our friends at KidsHelpline who are there for those aged 25 and under on 1800 55 1800.

Another avenue you might want to try is calling the mental health crisis line in your state. A list of them can be found about midway down the page here: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/crisis-management

Please keep checking in whenever you feel up to it.

Eclipse0433 · ‎29-03-2021

May I ask what the mental health crisis line does? Like for what reasons do u call them? And what happens if u do call them? No worries if u aren't too sure

Guest_4643 · ‎29-03-2021

Hi Eclipse. I'm not sure what happens when you do call them, I would assume 000 would be called if you're at danger to yourself or others. It would be like calling Lifeline or 000 I would assume, that's what I've heard. I've never contacted them myself. Maybe others will help more than I can, sorry I can't be of more assistance.

Yes unfortunately MH is very stigmatised, it shouldn't be. I'm sorry the Psychologist was like that. You could try elsewhere even if it's a private psychologist or something. perhaps you could try KHL and get a counsellor there, online? It's up to you, these are just friendly suggestions, no pressure.

Sorry you have a self inflicted wound also. Please take care of yourself and be safe.

Guest_1643 · ‎30-03-2021

hey - have called thm many times

nothing bad happens - don't worry about them forcing anything or putting you anywheere against ur will - that dosn't happen

they talk to u for crises assessmnt to see how safe you are and make som recommendations

they may advise you to come in further, to see ur doctor, and make plans for the next day

it's sort of lik calling lifeline but they know who you are and can offer tangible support.