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Your defenses
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I turned 60 this year. I don't know if its commonly an age thing but more than ever I feel the need to withdraw from society.
I'm wise enough to resist any temptation to "knee jerk", to withdraw completely, besides, been there done that.
At ages 21 and 24yo on both occasions I strapped a hunting rifle to my motorcycle and headed for the hills. 5 days I lasted each time. I was a hopeless hunter and had I caught game I likely wouldn't have gone further in the process to eat it. And I ran out of my baked beans. Obviously it wasn't planned well.
However it did worry me that I'd thrown my jobs in and not told anyone of my decision. That had smacked against my general nature of being responsible
To this day some nearly 40 years not much has changed in terms of the overall feeling of wanting to escape...but from what or whom?
I've narrowed it down to people. Not all people but.. .most.
most people- will walk over the top of you in the workplace to achieve the slightest advantage. Will deceive you especially public figures. Will steal your children if they are in contact with some cult organisations. Will ridicule you for your thoughts because in their eyes you are not entitled to an opinion that doesn't match theirs. And so on. Is this fear you also?
But regardless of these strong negative thoughts there has to be a middle ground whereby I,we,can survive. It won't be perfect and that has to be accepted.
In this new millennium social media plays the biggest part for this is where we have contact with most people. Facebook is my enemy. Sure posting instant pics especially to.family is fabulous. You become closer. So I feel that its time to significantly reduce my other friends
Clubs?. Most of my fb friends are in a motoring club. Are they friends? I've pondered that overnight. I can choose 4, two couples out of 90. Some of the remainder are often sarcastic, popularist, jealous and all sorts of behaviour that is not considered healthy and stable for my needs.
Again I'm going to be careful, mature and leave with the least fanfare at a time when I feel its right.
Sometimes we have to make decisions we dont like for the greater good of our future. We don't need to be abrasive nor over reactive. Reducing the number of people you are in contact with can help some maintain a comfort zone.
Reduction also with news watching, local newspapers and politics is also needed.
Nuture yourself. Most won't understand. But when has "most" ever understood?
Tony WK
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Mmm...I've just been told by a friend that there us a better way with Facebook.
Simply press the "notification" tab. Then I won't be subjected to their posts.
I think that might work.???
Tony WK
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Hi Tony WK
Thats an interesting read you have penned above. I am by nature very reclusive. My only strong ties are to my husband, my youngest daughter & her family & my best friend. I suppose I should also acknowledge my relationship with my GP to whom I turn when the black dog comes stalking.
That makes 3 adults older than me & a younger busy family. I often wonder how I will cope as I lose these people from my life. Will I stay well? Would I ever be able to reach out of myself to meet new people? I know all the advice - try volunteering, join clubs/groups, take up hobbies.
I don't know if I'll have the courage to seek that middle ground.
As for social media, I'm on Facebook but mainly only to see photos of the grandkids. I only check it out once or twice a week.
Like you I too turn 60 this year. I had hoped I would be more self-accepting by now. I realise I will always be accompanied by the shadows of depression & PTSD but I didn't realise just how vulnerable I am still to believing I want an early exit.
I have given up watching tv news or looking at the various "reality" shows. I try to fill that time in other ways now.
I appreciate what you have written Tony as you've given me something to mull over, instead of just foreseeing a bleak future. Knowing your thoughts allow me to accept my own which are very different from most people's.
Cheers Tony, Lyn.
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Hi Lyn
Thankyou. Those words mean so much. As for "an early exit"... Not on my watch lol.
Thanks Chris. That's as big a revelation as my wife finding out we have a GPS in our phone when driving in the muddle of Perth. 🙂
Tony WK