An invite for a bbq? A work party? End of year celebration? Like a lot of things with regarding our lives of orbiting mental illness issues, it should be planned. However planning our behavior and interaction with others can result in a false person. Shouldn't we be ourselves?
There are arguments for and against
Being ourselves, we know that many of us don't fit in with the normal brigade for whatever reason. That normal world is where the promotions are, the more bland characters that "fit in" with each other. Some even socialize after hours. Even being obliging to bosses is a common trait that some of us cannot stomach. Clubs have the same issue for us. Speak up and you are howled down verbally or the "stare". For these reasons being yourself is in your mind good but why draw attention to yourself? As with many things in life everything is good in moderation. You can retain your character at a gathering but exposing your out of "normal" self can work against you and that is the end result.
I found over the years of over 85 jobs that I was best not to attend work parties. If it was during working hours my bosses expected me to attend so I did, for the shortest period of time and I suppressed my true self for that time. I certainly heard about the going ons at a later date, who chatted up who and all that stuff. Frankly, took little notice of it. Leave it to them.
Then there is the mask. To continue the wearing of your fake persona is what we do best. And why not? Many of us do not want work colleagues to know about our illness or the effects of it, our eternal struggles. Feel free to keep your mask raised. If not and you confide in a "trustworthy" colleague that risk that that information is leaked is high. Before you know it every action you make and reaction is "that's because he has depression". Stigma is alive and well in the workplace- why? Because they are not friends. They are workers looking at promotion, colleague approval or they feed off gossip. Work is work. Its not a place of friendship or love and care. If you think it is then you could be right but its rare.
Friendliness- By far the biggest mistake the mentally unwell make IMO is not asking questions. Ask someone questions about their life and they will relish in the deed of filling you with answers. Its the one thing that will make you likable. The worse action when someone asks you how you are going is to rattle off your mental woes. Its not what they are asking.
Have a good xmas.
Tony WK
