Triggers that down you. Triggers that lift you

[white knight]

How often have we felt those triggers snap us into depression? Down we go. A workplace bully only has to smirk at us. A bit of sad news. A red letter from a bill we've missed. A piece of gossip about us that reaches our ears. For many of us our trigger is unavoidable and I don't think there is much we guilt ridden over sensitive types can do about it. There are some things that medication cant control and psychiatrist session cant solve except a mental bandaid that might make us feel better until the next trigger. So if triggers that cause our emotional drop cant be stopped or lessened what can we do about them? Is there a counter measure? If the negative trigger is on one side of a weighing scale what can we put on the other side to at least try to give a balance?

Well in my view its not unlike positive motivation but in a different sense. What I've tried to do, and in most cases succeeded, is to lock onto quotes. My daughter has anxiety and it peaked last year. She attended a psychologist for one session only, she believed she would need many sessions and extended visits. after her session she rang me and told me she wouldn't be attending anymore. She said that the professional told her that her reactions about elements of her childhood were typical reactions for a child in her circumstance. That at 12yo to leave her mothers home and live with her father (me) and for her mother to disown her for such a move was bound to create many mixed and hurtful feelings. She told me she felt that his comment triggered her in a way that she found the answer to the whole problem. "I'm right now dad" she said.

Similar things have occurred to me over the decades. Once I fought corruption on a small scale at a local council. I was one of their employees. It confused me. I asked my doctor why the mayor acted the way he has, grandstanding and manipulating the facts - "power Tony, its a lust for power". That was the positive trigger I needed. There was no other need to delve into the smaller details. "Power" covered it all.

Reading through some of the threads here has found many more. Posters quote other posters because they "hit the nail on the head" as they say.

Can you, the one that falls mentally down the well of despair, use positive quotes, phrases from others to build a stairway back up?

We have a "quotes" thread here to. Ones that I have found so helpful from the likes of Churchill, Ghandi and so on

Try to focus on these. It might help.

Tony WK

[white knight]

Hi Quirky

If our lives are unstable through trauma or lack of planning then, frankly, you'll be easily triggered until that stability returns and this period is a long memory.

So, having said that, when triggered tell yourself, "that's ok".

I hope we all can help you during this difficult time

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Thanks Tony.
Your wise words will help many reading this and trying to live with tiggers.

[white knight]

Last weekend I was triggered.

An elderly couple I've known for 50 years visited and stayed overnight, a common event.

The male, a man that believes in free speech, when the subject of my wonderful dad came up (Dec 1992) he said "Tony will never be as good as his father".

My response was appropriate "that's what my mother and two of her friends used to day, and it hurt like hell"

Quietness came immediately and I know my friend well enough to know he regretted his words.

A narcissistic mother can plant her guilt seeds into a child's mind for control. That's bad enough without brainwashing her friends to do the same.

In such cases like last weekend I remember the saying "forgive them for they not know what they do."

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Tony

I think you handled that situation well. I can’t see why so done would say those words.

I find that now there are books, tv show and documentaries about the black summer fires sk so no matter if I got to a shop, watch tv, listen to a radio I will hear and or see something about fires and firefighters. Avoiding is hard at ti es sorry to cope with images or interviews

I find it tiring.

Tony thanks I find your threads so informative.

[white knight]

Thankyou Quirky

We do need to swallow some triggers as there is zero we can do about them. Like the sound of screeching brakes bring memories of a car accident.

It's the out of the blue comments people make that hurt me deep down.

The memories you hold of your house and shop and its trauma won't ever go away. I suppose this is why I get interested in methods we can adopt that minimalise the impact of such trauma.

TonyWK

[Guest_1643]

Well done.

Tony I think Ur words are firm

[white knight]

Does your partner trigger you?

I find the above question fascinating for a number of reasons-

• In past relationships did those partners trigger you also?
• Do other people outside the relationship trigger you?
• Do you trigger yourself?

The way I see triggering is that it is highly likely that someone with a mental health issue actually has the problem with being triggered far more easily than someone without a mental health problem.

"Triggering" is the significant reaction to something or someone that results in extreme distress. Triggers involve some of our 5 senses. So, if it's our senses that do the triggering when usually those without a mental disorder isnt triggered then its login to assume we are the problem. But let me clarify- we might be the problem but we are not to blame.

Acknowledging the source of a personal problem is the first step to recovery. Eg if we had a childhood trauma and that was realised through professional treatment, then we are on our way to suppressing that damage by acknowledging it.

Comments?

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Tony

I do not find partners triggering but images and sometimes

talking to an insurance company trying to update house over can have me in tears.

Ifi d I can’t predict most triggers so am often surprised by the intensity if emotion from a trigger.

[Ggrand]

Hello Tony, Quirky, Guest and everyone....🤗..

I don’t dwell on my past or voluntary think about it anymore...even though I’ve worked really hard to get to this point..unfortunately my past doesn’t let go of me....

Like you Quirky...An unexpected trigger, can put me down so fast and so quick...that I don’t know what’s happened until it’s too late...it’s like I have been time warped back to a place full of fear, hurt, heartache...which grabs hold of me for days/weeks sometimes months...mostly I can manage my triggers, with the help I’ve received from psychs and counsellors and here....but the unexpected ones....the ones like you mentioned Quirky....instantly going down too deep and too fast, full of emotions. ...I find it’s so hard to get back up on my own...and end up in a depressive episode, needing professional help...which I do reach out for...

Quirky, I’m wondering if you reach out to any professionals for some help, when those emotional triggers happen to you or are you able to get on top of them on your own...

My kind thoughts, everyone with my care..

Grandy..

[Elizabeth CP]

I used to cope with triggers by recognising what was happening and then reassuring myself until I can through the problem. This is effective as once you get through you have the positive internal feedback reassuring you that you can succeed in coping with triggers.

Unfortunately a constant stream of extreme stressors have left me very burnt out. This means I overreact to even minor triggers sending me into a downhill spiral with each bad experience making me feel less able to cope and 'proving' I'm totally unable to manage triggers. I have to accept I cant cope now and work on strategies to manage the burn out and extreme fatigue.