*Trigger warning* Eating for Health and Wellness

[Guest_1055]

I have been struggling eating and eating healthy foods over the last couple of weeks. I really do not want to go back further to how I use to eat, that is eating junk food, takeaways, copious amounts of chocolate, processed junk and comfort eating.

Finding it challenging to stay motivated to actually prepare what I know helps me feel better mentally, emotionally and physically. Plus I have been feeling overwhelmed with other stuff happening in my life, which somehow makes it more challenging. The old unhealthy comfort eating thing is coming back. And I think I am getting concerned and scared about that. I so much do not want to go back to how I use to be. I was so sick. Plus I now have some physical things not right in my body , so I need to be more careful and mindful of what I eat. ( Pre cancer cells , high blood pressure )

I was eating really well since Febuary of this year, it’s just the last couple of weeks I haven’t.

So I would like to use this thread to help me be accountable to Beyond Blue people. So like a diary where I can post and report what I eat. And also any healthy eating tips, motivating strategies to help eat better or anything related to healthy eating for our bodies including our mental health.

[Guest_1055]

This guy grew up with siblings, with a large age gap between his next sibling up. So he was alone a fair bit. His father struggled with alcohol, and he was not really there in the "connecting" sense. Maybe drunk a lot. Not sure. But this led to his mother spending a lot of time going out and connecting with friends etc. So she would leave him at home alone with the TV and I think it was junk food. It started when he was 10 years old. He then went on to say... Food became his comfort and food became his friend. So he grew up that way. For many years and into adult life he would turn to food to bring him comfort. It was just what he naturally did.

My childhood I was alone a lot. Actually it was my choice partly . I never felt like I fitted in. My parents did work a lot. I understand now why they did and now know they loved me and still do. But as I child I did not know that.

So I too turned to food as my friend and I too recieved some kind of comfort from eating it. Some kind of nice feeling from the addicting food like sugar mostly. I would bake chocolatey goodies on the weekends. Just so I could eat it. But always alone, I would bake.

[Guest_1055]

Earlier on before I was old enough to bake. I have memories... food relating ones. We visitied extended family. My nan, who I think now had some kind of issues with food too. Sweet things. She had low down cupboards with plastic containers full of cookies and biscuits. I still have an image of them as I write this. They were bought out all pretty platters. As I am writing this now I feel like eating those shortbread cream ones. I felt " happy" after I ate those. So the happy memories is associated with the biscuit. And those particular ones... Which were a favourite of mine. Also I did not mix with extended family members. I would often go off on my own, and play with the many small beach pepples in their waterfall. Or go into the spare bedroom and play with whatever toy was in there. By myself. I do not remember any aunts, uncles, siblings or cousins talking with me at all. My nan bought us Mr Whippy icecreams. The tune that truck plays has "happy" memories attached to it. The sugar high is the "happy". When I was a little older, I would often feel awkward and self conscious. Though I didnt know what you called it back then. But the feeling of it.. made me want to hide. Never felt it when I was by myself. I would often raid my nans outside freezer in secret. She had lots of boxes of icecreams in there. The freezer was in the laundry. No one knew I went in there. I would eat the icecreams in secret too. Most things about going there were food memories for me. They were the "happy, comforting" moments in time.

My other nans seemed to be food memorires as well. She used to work at the Sara Lee factory. So she had a freezer full of Sara Lee pound cakes, apple strudel. All seconds. They couldn't be sold in the supermarkets. I liked eating that cake when it was bought out. Another "happy".

Maybe this all sounds normal... I don't really know. But when someone's only way of feeling comforted and "happy" was to eat. Well that does not sound right to my adult way of thinking now.

I think I did have other "happy" emotions now that I am thinking about it. And they were not food related. But the self comfort by eating maybe not so many memories there

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Shelly...

I can relate so much to your last post...

Habits formed when we are young..especially habit that we used as coping tools are very hard to break...but I do believe that they can be...if we give ourselves lots of our love as well as our care, compassion, and mostly our patience...

You are a huge inspiration here...even though you don’t know...you really are..Please take good care of yourself beautiful lady..

Hugs with my care lovely friend...

Grandy..,

[golden82]

Hi Shell and all,

You have made some excellent points. I think what u wrote sounds 'normal' to me. We associate our thoughts and feelings to food a lot. Especially when it was comforting or served a purpose. I relate so so much to the story of the man and his childhood. Mine was the same. Mum not at home.. off doing her own thing coming home late at night, me just a little kid with a key to house after school .. empty house everynight with a note on table from Mum and a table full of junk food. I would watch tv eating the chocolate and lollies. Mum would come home late. I didn't want the tv or the junk food. I wanted Mum. She didn't want me. I think this was 9-12 yo. I got so fat in this time. And it started my lifelong severe eating disorder. I then moved with Dad and we ate normally and i lost the weight. It is never about the food i don't think. But our rship to it, as you say our memories, our associations and as Grandy said our habits/coping. I know last 6mo i have been eating to cope with grief. It isn't working though. But it has been all i know to cope. Thanks for sharing. I will look up that overeaters - sounds insightful. Take care 🙂

[Guest_1055]

I remember reading parts of your story before Golden...maybe on this thread. I am unsure.

And of course you would want your mum.:) Well in need of that connection, affection, care, love, attention and definitely the need to feel wanted.

Yeah you maybe be right... It is not about the food... But something much deeper then that.

Interesting you say...relationship to food. I have said before chocolate is not my friend. Hope you can understand me OK?? My thoughts are not clear at the moment. Have read somewhere that some foods, especially the addictive kind activates certain hormones that give us a high, a nice feeling, etc a bit like hugging a loved one. Or knowing you are loved. So it's really about our human need of love.. Just looking for it in the wrong places I guess. Or maybe naturally mindlessly gravitate to that certain food that gives you the same feeling as love. Because that's the only thing we know and it's ingrained into us.

Did you always feel your mum didn't want you?

[Guest_1055]

Definitely agree about some habits forming while we are growing up Grandy.

[Guest_1055]

Smashed potato with "cheese sauce

Ingredients :

Steamed whole potato with skin left on

" Cheese"sauce

What you do:

Preheat oven 200°c. Line a tray with baking paper. ( So you don't need oil). Place cooked steamed potatoes on tray and smash down with the bottom of a glass jar. Smash gently until almost flat. Cook until golden.

Once cooked spoon over some of the "cheese" sauce. Then eat.

"Cheese" Sauce

Ingredients :

1 small onion diced.

1/2 diced small carrot

1 floret of cauliflower (about 1/4cup)

1/4 cup raw cashews

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon nutritional yeast (optional)

Salt to taste

water

What you do :

Cook onion until golden, only add small amount of water to stop it from sticking. ( no oil). Add the vegetables. Stir. Then add water to cook. About 15 minutes.

Once vegetables are tender, Place them all into a blender, including any cooking water. Add the garlic powder, nutritional yeast and cashews. Plus more water. Depends on how much cooking water you used. Maybe less or more. Blend until smooth and creamy. Add salt to taste.

Note: I often use organic potatoes. If you don't have a powerful blender.. Soak the cashews in boiling water for a while (then drain) or simply add them to the vegetables when you cook them.

This sauce is yummy on spelt pasta spirals... A bit like mac and cheese. And keeps for a couple of days in the fridge. The nutritional yeast gives the sauce a cheese like flavour. I think it does. Sauce can also be used for a pizza topping. It thickens more once its been in the fridge.

Are this today. So yummy

[Guest_1055]

Edit above post. Forgot to write 1/4 cup diced potato in the cheese sauce ingredients

[Guest_1055]

Another edit... You only need enough water to just cover those "cheese"sauce vegetables when they are. cooking.

Thoughts are scattered

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone....

I was given 2 freshly picked choko’s....I remember when my mum cooked them, they were very bland and I didn’t like them....I think she just boiled them....

Does anyone know of a yummier way to cook them?...

I would like to try them again...but not boiled..

Kind thoughts.

Grandy...