This question is a bit confronting...however considering you're here: How long did it take you to accept your diagnosis/illness?

[insertaname]

I am asking this as person who was in complete denial. I didn't like the medication it made me not want to even bat an eye. I was so upset with how i was diagnosed with this. At the time i felt like nobody would stay with me if i told them what i had and I did get treated that way by former friends. I still dislike it - but i've become pretty stable and i have to work with it. It took me about 2-3 years... but even then i still sort of was in denial but took the meds.

Mental illness is a serious thing. If you feel that you might have something go consult a s GP - I'd rather know than find out that way. It took me until I was 19 to "accept" this illness but I wrote stuff in a diary - negatives and positives of life and i felt that this was my "turning point".

Here are a few snippets from when i was 19:

1. Home is what you want it to be, a place of ease and comfort that lovingly welcomes you regardless of your circumstances.
2. Not everyone knows where and when and what they want to do, see, learn and live happily with.
3. People are still figuring that out.
4. Stop worrying about the past, the ifs and the hypotheticals. You will waste all that precious time – where you could be doing something you love whatever that may be.
5. If you have dreams and you want them, what is stopping you? Reach for it! Listen to your heart, mind and soul. If you can convince yourself why you want to accomplish that dream, you are bound to find someone see that straight away.
6. Be happy with what you have got – even if it does not sound impressive with yourself. Make the most if it.
7. Stop worrying about yesterday’s worries. It is a new day today and the next day will be tomorrow.
8. I have problems, feelings and thoughts just like everyone else why can I not have them privileges. Why must everything be what YOU see, think and believe?
9. I do not want to be like you and change for you. If you cannot accept me for who I am that is fine. I WILL find out and search elsewhere to see if someone else can.

I don't think any of my negative anecdotes are useful here. But that was my (+) thoughts.

[demonblaster]

Hi insertaname and everyone 🖐

What an insightful post. It was sad in parts that you're struggling so much but also a pleasure to read.

I like hearing your thoughts at the tender age of 19 yrs. Such wisdom and depth. Sounds like you're a thinker which goes a long way towards healing. What we need is to work on controlling what and how we think and react to thoughts.

I have a lot of ideas realisations and clues to recover from mental illness and pain which I will and making headway but the difficulties in applying I find which might be hard for you and many others as well.

No: 5 about convincing yourself why is very good. I liked all of it.

Once I asked myself why if I believe solidly I can achieve at my art and be successful why arent I doing it. Couldn't come up with a reason so did some.

I've been thinking lately if we know something will make us happier than now what stops us. I'll re read this sometime.

Your choice entirely but if you want to unload the negatives someone may have some constructive help or relate.

In reply to your thread title, no I was happy knowing because I could research and try to understand for healing.

Poor Mental Health isn't a choice and it adds a great deal of stress to our lives.

Your MI clearly is very hard for you to accept.
Not at all a good position to be in. I don't envy you.

What I can say is as time goes by I'm more aware there's a great deal of help knowledge and techniques and or meds when the right mix is reached that gives us hope for recovery or at least managing our conditions.

Best of luck in your journey.

Thanks for posting hope your days good and everyone ☺

[quirkywords]

Hi insertaname,

What another interesting question. Thanks for sharing your thoughts when you were nineteen.

I maybe repeating my self but I was diagnosed so long ago when I was 16 and there was much ignorance stigma and lack of real information.

At the time I was in denial as there was no support and no understanding. I decided everyone else had a problem and for many years I was angry and defiant.

That was my experience.

Quirky

[sparrowhawk]

I was first diagnosed with depression at 14. I was very angry and hurt as a consequence; my siblings (who are all younger than I am) were upset that they were impacted by my needs, and I was told I could not talk about how I was feeling to any of my friends. So I ended up feeling very alone.

Going through this second real episode now, I feel angry again some of the time, but it's more at myself. I'm angry that I am going through this and that I can't be different. I know, deep down, that it's just my reality and that my depression doesn't define me, and I hope it will get better, but the experience of having an "invisible illness", having to pretend, coping with stigma and particular interventions is a real struggle.

[smallwolf]

Probably the day I found out.as it would explain why I felt the way I had been feeling for the past N years. With a name I could work out how to overcome it. They were my initial thoughts. Now it is more about accepting and living with it. For me...

1. understanding that I am OK (re low self-worth)

2. not turning every positive into a negative

3. that if i can overcome the above item, I will be able the beauty in a flower or life.

Like sparrow, the pretending and managing can be a struggle.

Tim