The Very Unglamorous side of Anorexia Recovery

[SeeTheSunshine]

Hi all, it's been a long road but i'm so so so much better than I have been in terms of anxiety/depression/anorexia. I guess the hardest part now is that the disorder affected all the muscles in my body (including my bladder- TMI) and part of recovery for me means 24/7 liquid calories going in through a tube in my nose (to stomach)....as you can imagine litres of this with a very weak bladder that gives me no warning, doesn't lead to pleasant situations. I'm told it will reverse with good nutrition and that it is a lot more common in this disorder than anyone admits to. Breaking point for me was wetting myself in an elevator (not just a little bit like everyday) but completely because I just couldn't hold on. Naturally I don't want to be away from right next to a bathroom and i'm now stuck using pads/kids pullups especially overnight when the feed keeps going in but my bladder can't hold it. This has actually worsened during recovery/re-feeding and for professionals it is a reversible non-issue (which is true)..... for me though it feels like a huge thing wetting my pants numerous times a day because I can't hold on more than 30seconds. Extremely limited in clothing choice when wearing protection and just feel like dignity has been stripped away.....it is a catch22 though because I need all this extra fluid/feed to fix the problem, its just getting by in the mean time and dealing with the associated social isolation. Not sure if anyone has experienced anything like this before?

[Kiki207]

SeeTheSunshine,

Well done for improving your mental health!!!!!!! I haven't been in your situation, I'm only on bb due to mild depression. Just remember that the fluids are helping you, and your bladder will get stronger again. You will get by and it'll be over before you know it. Enjoy the fact that you are recovering and will continue to recover. I know this is probably no help because I don't have much advice on this sort of topic but I hope it does help you.

xox

Kiki

[quirkywords]

Seethesunshine,

welcome to the forum and well done for working hard to come this far. You are right that people don’t talk about this unglamorous side of recovery and I am glad you have spoken honestly about.

I have not had anorexia but I have experienced interstitial cystitis that often results in needing to know where every bathroom is outside my home and avoiding places and events that would have limited access to bathrooms. It is embarrassing and awkward at times.

I can understand how you feel about loss of dignity even though you know it is reversible.

It is huge for us and embarrassing but you have come a long way and while it is socially awkward you will come through this.

I admire your honesty to bring this up as I am sure others reading your post will relate and maybe not feel shame as they now know they are not alone.

You have strength to have come this far and have perserved and are now willing to help others by sharing your experience.

You may have already contacted the Butterfly foundation as I know they are a helpful resource and may have some resources or ideas to help you. 1800334673

Thanks again for sharing your story. I am proud of what you have achieved.

feel free to post here if your want to.

Quirky

[SeeTheSunshine]

Thanks, yes definitely does help knowing i'm not alone- sorry you've had to go through all of this. Butterfly said I definitely wasn't the first to have the problem but nutrition is all that with help repair the tissues.

[quirkywords]

Seethesunshine,

Thanks for your reply. I hope you are proud of what you have accomplished and this .

Sometimes it gets me down and at others I laugh that I know where every public toilet in Australia is and should do an app but there is already an app. So many people need that information.

I hope you see the sunshine in your life every day.

Quirky