Many of us are withdrawn, we aren't as outgoing as those around us. We look around and say to ourselves "I have no friends".
If we need to work we prepare a resume, look for jobs, attend interviews and its not easy but we rise to the challenge or we simply won't get work.
Yet in finding friends we tend to think they just should be there automatically. That popularity among your own age group is a given. Why don't we accept that finding friends also needs effort and planning?, like looking for work or building a shed?
For example. If you weren't the sporting type but to enable you to mix with a new group meant joining a table tennis or badminton team would you do it? If you weren't all that keen on gardening but to make friends you joined a basic florist course would you try?.
The point here is that for those that feel they are suppressed in mood or other issues that reduce their outgoing ability, it will take effort to counter this.
Put it this way, enduring cycles of depression or even negativity, loss of confidence will take some effort to seek out new friends.
We don't need swarms of new friends. We really only need one or two. My wife met her best friend at a ceramic class and one at a sewing group. I met mine at a car club one at volleyball and another at a relaxation class.
You also might need to wait until your mood is on the up cycle to find the mental energy to try such activities. Don't be too hard on yourself but do challenge yourself when you feel good.
Just like looking for employment, finding friends needs some determination, planning and selling yourself. Sometimes moving on from friends that don't add value to your life.
New friends won't come knocking on your door.
Finding a new friend is entering a labyrinth. Meeting and considering if this one or that one will be compatible. Until one falls into place where the care is mutual and wonderful. Then you'll be so glad you tried.
Tony WK
