Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

[quirkywords]

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is.

This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview.

Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life.

IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help.

I am here to help you why can't you see that?

Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me?

IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve.

Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults?

IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak.

Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me.

IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much.

Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times.

IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain.

Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough.

What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

I wonder if people have ways of coping with their inner critic that works for them, that would like to share.

I sometimes get stuck trying the same thing that isn't working or I try one thing once and give up. I have tried writing to my inner critic, arguing with it, trying a kinder voice etc but in the end I tend to think the worst of things and overthink and criticise myself. Not all the time but I think it is an addictive habit I should try to break but it is so hard.

Any suggestions? I can suggest things to others but to myself I find it difficult.

Quirky

[Baker84]

I too would love to know ways of taming the inner critic as I am going through a marriage breakdown and at times find it so hard to not listen to it and overthink everything, I would have 100s of conversations a day in my head and barely talk to anyone at work as my emotions will come out and that would be embarrasing.

[quirkywords]

Baker, welcome to this forum and to this thread.

You ask the question I keep struggling with.

Sometimes it helps if you know how your inner critic works.

Does it get louder when you are sick , when you are anxious.

Marriage breakdown is very hard to cope with.

Have you got any support from your family , your friends or a counsellor or doctor?

Sometimes I find I need to share an emotion with others or just tell people how I am feeling,or otherwise I feel that my head may burst.

Feel free to post here when you like.

Quirky

[Baker84]

Yeah I do have a big family but sometimes that can be too negative (not their Fault) but it doesn't help my psychologist is very helpful and reading on here helps. I guess its just a process I have to except and go through. Just wish my head would stop making up silly stuff that I have no evidence of.

Thanks for your reply it helps

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Baker,thanks for your reply.

People have suggested that practice is needed to stop over thinking and to silence the critic.

You have to keep using things that work for you, be it ignoring it, arguing it, writing letters to it or finding a positive voice to silence the negative. There are many strategies that people can sure to scope. People need to work out wat works for them.

Keep trying

Quirky

[Baker84]

Thank you for your response I am currently trying to figure out which tecnique is going to work for me. Im sure I will work it out soon. I wont give up until I do.

Thanks again

[Chloe_M]

Good on you Baker84! Believe in yourself and anything is possible!

Hope everyone had a great day 🙂

Hugs for you all from Chloe 🤗

[Music_Freak]

I wish I had a positive voice instead of the critic that always has doubts and puts me down...I could sure use a bit of positivity right now.

Being stressed out isn't helping...

I usually turn to music or Buddy when I need cheering up or a distraction, but nothing seems to be really working right now.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Music Freak , I noticed on yout thread earlier you seemed more positive than you are in this post. Is that because you can focus on your plans and forget your critical voice for a little while or is it always there?

I think we just have to keep on practising so that negative voice does get too loud. You have a lot of people supporting you on your thread, can you try to say their voice instead of the negative one.

I know it is hard that is why I started this thread. I find when I am tired and run down and unwell that inner critic gets very loud. So keeping hea;thy is importnat.

Thanks for your comments.

Quirky

[Music_Freak]

Working on plans or keeping busy definitely does help, but I think the critic is always there, just quieter. Day dreaming about having money to spend one day was a nice distraction though.

I think maybe it was feeling crappy after the dentist that made me feel so down. Hopefully tomorrow is a little better.