Store Your Happy Memories Here:

[Croix]

Dear All~

What this place is for:
This thread is a tool, a resource, and also I guess a dash of entertainment.

I’ve found that when life is grim that sometimes thoughts of past happiness can create a chink of light in the grey overwhelming press of down. They can help occupy the mind with lighter reflections.

With that in view I invite people to set down a brief passage describing some happy event they look back to with fondness and peace.

They - and others too - can then return to it when they feel the need to glean a little warmth.

It is not a place for gloomy or dire tales, those can go elsewhere.

What to do:
Just set out, as simply as you like, your recollection of some past experience that means something good to you, something you enjoyed, something from safe times.

It can be, like my story below, anything – from an account of visiting grandparents to simply cooking and eating a melted-cheese sandwich in a favorite kitchen – you get to choose.

How to do it:
Write. Write enough so someone else can feel the mood, know what happened, find the goodness. (stop at 2,500 characters please!)

Grammar, syntax, spelling, punctuation are not compulsory, just write as you can – the only important thing is the content - not literary merit. Short or long - it does not matter.


I hope you enjoy, contribute and find a little distraction here when you need it.

Croix

[Quercus]

Oh! That gave me goosebumps. Warmth of fire and home. Thank you Croix. It works for you too 😊 that makes me very happy.

Chair.

I lived with my Grandad and Grandma for a while. Their routines became mine too. So every week we would walk up the hill to their friend for a cuppa.

She was a widow. A truly beautiful soul. Lonely. Hilariously funny. Blunt. Appreciative of her friends. Humble. Unusual. Facinating. Independent. Scientist. I loved her immediately.

We would sit at her table by the fire. I would peek at the collection of frogs she had emassed when there was a lull in conversation and it was polite to drift off. She brought me back by asking if I would like a cup of tea. I said I would get it. And rose to collect the cups.

I went to push in my chair. And she howled!

No! Leave it be.

I froze. My Grandparents smiled and laughed.

Tell her Enid you've startled her now.

She laughed so loudly. Nat I am a superstitious old woman. We're all allowed our very own weird habits aren't we? I nodded and we made the tea. I stared in shock at her cup. Coffee. Black. Half a cup of hot water. Half a cup of cold?! She laughed. A barking laugh. Nothing polite about it. I grinned.

See Nat... You like tea. I like coffee. On the cold side. And that's ok. You push in your chair when you leave the table. I on the other hand want the chairs always left out until my friends leave.

Why? I asked. If you push in your chair it is not out there waiting for you to sit back down. So it must be time for you to leave. And I want you to stay I'm enjoying your company. She pats my arm and takes down a frog statue to show me. I love frogs don't you?

From this moment in time whenever I push in my chair I think of the unique woman and her frogs and her beautiful garden on the hill. And I miss her and feel blessed to have known her even for a little while.

[demonblaster]

Hey Moon & all 🙂

Reading back a few and you said which is soo common in depression when the bad memories surface, hard to remember the goods, that's how the beast works. One of the ways of counteracting it is this amazing thread with the goods being thrown in to give the mind some pleasure amidst pain

There's an app from BB here called beyond now which is a suicide preventative plan which you may/not find you need but in it there's a section for good mems and there's others I've heard of around (Apps) that you can write your happies in then refer to them. Think they're along the lines of Happy thoughts, Sarah here has mentioned them I'll ask her when I see her & come back that's if you have a ph: but can always write stuff down too

In one of my darkest times, REALLY desparate & so needed help was lucky to get onto psych by Ph: she said write down what you like or get pleasure out of, at the time I thought yeah yeah but even in the deepest darks when I thought BACK to times or simply as she suggested, things I get pleasure out of, the list grew fast on mobile, like being in water, birdies singing, smiling, certain songs, then they may spark for you memories.

The other thing is if you have ok times amongst the crap then work on it. Your minds clearer at those times. Btw do you have ok times amongst the rotting downs?

All Best

[Croix]

Dear DB and All~

Thanks for mentioning BeyondNow, good thought. Quercus (Nat) had a good thought too - I and many others have trouble dredging up happy happy memories even when we are reasonable. Her suggestion was to have a random word (she used chair as an example) and see if you can use it as a trigger to bring a fond recollection to the fore. It worked!

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Hi DB and Croix...just a simple question first...and I don't mean it to be sarcastic in any way..... do you think that recalling the happy memories and writing them down actually does anything positive for us "in the here and now"? i.e. is there any point?.......cheers Moon S

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

Actually I don't think it is a simple question at all. There are many answers depending. We are all different and get different things out of these stories. I'm sure DB, and everyone here will have their own take on the matter.

For example I get the most from writing them if I can. It forces my mind into the past event and associated feelings more than just reading as I have to turn things over to try to get the best way to say them.

That's my memories. Looking at other peoples' helps at times and gives me a sense of perspective. I doubt they suddenly make me feel wildly happy, but they do definitely give me a lift, they also remind me that there are good times and those good times will be back.

Apart from that there is the atmosphere. As you know yourself if you are stuck in an unhappy environment such as a toxic workplace or house full of negative people then it rubs off in your mood. The same applies in reverse, happiness can make it's way in, so if you are in a relaxed and pleasant setting - such as a comedy at the theater it can help.

I even think such things can be straight physical, as in muscles. I find putting on a smile for social reasons can lighten my mood in time.

What do you think?

Croix

[Quercus]

Hi Moon (and Croix and DB and anyone reading),

I hope it's ok if I have a go at answering your question...

Maybe it is just me but the process of seeking out and putting into words a happy memory helps me enormously in the present.

Why?

• Distraction. When I am low my mind seems to cycle bad things in a loop. I find coming on and reading someone else's memory breaks the cycle. Gives my mind something else to focus on.
• Prompts. Reading a memory sometimes brings one of my own to the surface. Because the memories here are happy my own tend to be fond memories that surface. I like the reminder that there are things in my life to be happy for.
• Creativity/challenge. I love it when a word or feeling reminds me of a memory. I love closing my eyes and trying to put it into words. The challenge and purpose it gives me. It occupies my mind. Makes me feel good when I re read it and think yes this captures how I felt.
• Security. My memory is terrible. I struggle with focus. Depression had made this worse. So I love the feeling of being able to capture and store my memory. In case I forget it again. It makes me feel safe.

There is a lot more but I'm a bit embarrassed that I'm waffling. I hope you don't mind me butting in.

[Croix]

Dear Nat~

If there's more please don't stop, what you have said so far makes a lot of sense (and is better organized than what I put in too:)

Croix

[Quercus]

Hi Croix (and anyone reading),

Thanks I won't keep listing today would rather see some more happy memories. A lot of people seem a bit flat lately on the forums (me included) so I want to see if the word prompt works when flat.

New word... Hmm.... Road.

There are three colours in the world around me. Red earth. Blue sky. Yellow spinifex. I walk along the dusty bush road. My white sneakers begin to get covered in red dust. The laces are a faint red already.

The Jack Russell runs ahead of me, I've let her off the chain. There will be no cars on this road. There never is. I walk. She runs. The road is hot. Too hot for her paws. I turn back towards the house in the distance. And old man and my father stand at the fence. I wave and point at the dog. Dad's sharp whistle calls her home. He picks her up and the old man makes a fuss of her. I snort and continue my search.

Although it is hot now there has been rain not long ago. They will start to bloom soon. There! At the side of the road. Sturt desert peas. Beginning to flower. Red with a dark black boss. Beautiful.

Excitement fills me. Not long now. In a week or so there will be red blooms all along the road. I crouch and touch the flower. Red earth. Red flower. Yellow spinifex. Clear blue sky. I love it here.

[demonblaster]

Hey Croix, & guys, scared if I name I may forget some but have read back a few, really enjoying reading others one's too thanks 🙂

Croix I was smiling and feeling being at your Nans around the fireplace wow.

Quercus Hey 🙂 love that distraction, Prompts post, very well written & laid out too (Y)

Moonstruck (Moon) Hiya fair question, btw was it you reading back I saw someone here sadly can't pull up good thoughts? poor thing, can I suggest think back to childhood hoping somewhere there, there maybe something or simple things like something feels nice, taste, something you see, hear, could work better & as Croix has said often a word or thought can spark mems.

Back to question: Yes I get a lot of buzz and lift reading others as well as remembering, it's a challenge to remember in the black or Grey times but worth digging. Could only be temporary but better than nothing but Black, gives reprieve from that downward spiralling negative habit that the beast is OH so good at.
Gentle counteract to the beast. Hope you can come up with some goods 🙂

Croix re: smiling, it is uplifting and heard somewhere here too to do it in the mirror too. Heard from someone in the know that smiling also releases endorphines, it is really nice eye contact and smiling at someone that always makes the dif if they actually smile back lol, makes ya feel good so I reckon they're right on that one 🙂 there yaz go there's another.

bbl (be back later) thx everyone 🙂 (and another)

[demonblaster]

Heyaz 🙂

Ya see a lot nursing (was AIN & EN (1 yr training at time) & depending where you work (moved a lot here) death too, so warped senses of humour are helpful.
Yous may not find this funny but OMG I had uncontrollable LOUD LOL, she was soooo embarrassed. I couldn't help it

Trip to America ooops started laughing again, a friend would kill me if she knew I was posting this, mind you told a few. Went with 4 nurses from NZ, we were walking in Hawaii and she was listening to something I was saying & looking at me, then all of a sudden I heard this massive kinda vibrating bannnnnggggggg.....she walked into a poll .........I just happened to look at the time......oh god I'm cacking it........maybe had to be there lol, oh god I'm still going.

Blame Dad, he'll do as a scapegoat...he laughed and laughed at Charlie Chaplins antics.

Think was on radio once heard a psychologist saying we laugh at peoples misfortunes hard cause we're so relieved it wasn't us .... I reckon aye.... I've done soooo many, almost immune to embarrassment.

Thankyou again, needed that 😄 😄 😄 rofl (rolling on floor laughing, well if I could get back up be a bonus)