Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

I think it was the hormone med that caused the pain. It was identical pain to what I experienced mid last year when I increased the dosage of the hormone meds. I got excruciating pain then that according to the Health Direct nurse in the middle of the night and the doctor I saw the next day would be the gallbladder. So I have stopped the hormone med. I do have yet some more options I can explore with the naturopath including a supplement with a good evidence base for hormone balancing. That is the next option me thinks 🤔

I had a doctor appointment this morning actually. The naturopath wants me to do a Vitamin B6 test and suggested I try through the doctor so it can be covered by Medicare. However, the GP wasn't having it, stating they can't follow the naturopath without an evidence base. It's so frustrating because everything the naturopath has done has been way more evidence-based than any of the mainstream doctors I have seen and he has achieved measurable, successful outcomes. Vitamin B6 is often depleted in the liver disease I have and he wants to know my levels before suggesting it as too much of it can cause problems. I can do the test through him now. It will just be a lot more expensive 😞 To say I am fed up with mainstream medicine is an extreme understatement.

Yes, I think some of those retirement complexes are very expensive. I noticed ones in the posher suburbs definitely cost more. I have found some retirement villas in less posh locations (e.g. on busy main roads or outer suburbs) that are between $250K and $375K for what looks like a really nice unit. Some are even two bedroom at that price. I think some do allow pets, it just depends on the regulations for the particular village. Here in this complex where I live pets are allowed providing they are not causing a disturbance, according to the strata rules. Something to keep in mind is that with many retirement units it is on a "Lease for Life" basis which means you don't own it fully outright. You basically get to live in it until you die but then it is resold. You don't have to pay stamp duty in this arrangement from what I understand. I think it would be very important to look carefully at any contract before signing, including any additional costs that may not be included in the purchase price, such as ongoing maintenance costs. Yes, I'm starting to see it as a possibility to last another 5 years here now.

It's great you are organised with your food. Being in a town, and walking distance to the supermarket (and all other main services) I tend to not plan ahead much. I try to have some things on hand, especially for when I get the odd migraine as having hydrating liquids for energy and food for when I start to recover is important. I'm often still not up to leaving the house but start to need to eat again. Yes, fresh milk is a lovely thing. There is long life milk of course but it's not quite the same. I don't have dairy now since finding out I'm strongly allergic to the casein in it in 2022. It cleared up a decade of chronic sinus issues. But I do miss it quite a bit. I'd like to have the occasional bit of cheesecake or bocconcini cheese - yum 😋

I'm really glad it will be nice for travelling to your sil's. It will be lovely to have a few cool days. Believe it or not I have had to put a jumper on this evening! There is quite the howling wind out there at the moment. Such a contrast with Perth where jumpers seem unimaginable.

I did sleep ok apart from occasional wakings with gallbladder pain 😣 The pain has definitely eased off today though so I think not taking the hormone last night was the right decision. I hope you are going ok with your sleeping Paws and finding a pattern that is working for you. May you have a happy day tomorrow 🙂

Hugs,

ER