Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and Grandy,

I'm glad you have all those lovely birds Grandy. It really is so good watching them isn't it. Even though I'm sure it wasn't pleasant having the ants on you, that was quite a funny story about doing the crazy dance and your dogs thinking it was a game. I could just imagine the tug of war over your socks. I really hope your flu is coming good now.

Thank you Grandy with the advice about triggers. That is very good advice, to look at something pleasant if triggered by sight or listen to something pleasant if triggered by words. I often look at my garden and seeing the birds really helps. I also find it can help doing editing of the photos I take which focusses me visually. At night I almost always put on a podcast now with voices I feel safe and comfortable listening to and that is how I go to sleep. I often won't sleep until I do that. One of the podcasts I like is just these two friendly guys talking about wildlife photography and because their voices sound safe and reassuring to me I start to fall asleep.

Paws, yes, there a bandicoots living across the road. I do see them sometimes on the walking trail and other times I hear rustling in the undergrowth that I'm sure is often them. They are very cute. I've had one come up and sniff me before. I find if you sit down and stay still they will often come and investigate you. They snuffle about in the earth with their nose to find things to eat. They come into the group of units I live in to. My neighbour's daughter put an infra red camera in her backyard to see what was digging up the lawn at night, and it was indeed a bandicoot.

I love how you were known as the Great Dane lady. It's so lovely that he received that kind attention from people and loved it. I'm sure he was a gentle giant. There is a very large Rottweiler who lives locally here who is gentle and quiet. In the past Rottweilers are one of the few breeds of dog I've been a bit scared of, but I could tell immediately she is safe. I've been able to go up to her in the street and give her pats. She's a rescue dog who had a difficult past.

I hope you both and anyone reading have a lovely day. It is sunny and quite pleasant here today after a couple of days of stormy weather. A couple of nights ago there were spectacular thunderstorms and I was seeing dramatic lightning through the glass sliding door. At times there were strong wind gusts with heavy rain too that were amazing to watch.

Take care and hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Grandy,

ER I love that you pat the Rottweiler, so many big dog breeds with scary reputations are actually big softies. How wonderful that someone rescued her, it can be hard for big dogs to find a home. 

I'm glad you had a spectacular weather show & missed out on the damaging winds other areas got.  Winter thunderstorms are good to watch aren't they, summer storms make me nervous that they will start a fire.  Most of the rain & storms missed my place over the weekend. Thankfully I only had a few patches of rain to drive through when I went to the big city Saturday.  There had obviously been some rain while I was away, but only enough to wet the surface, when I kicked the gravel with my toe it was dry underneath.  

I'm envious that you have bandicoots come right up to you, how amazingly wonderful that must be.  It definitely beats my local echidna (cute as it is) who tries to bury itself if you get anywhere near it & then doesn't move for hours.  

I rang my cousin this arvo thinking we might have our usual long chat of about an hour, nope three & a half hours later we decided we probably should hang up as it was getting time to think about making dinner.  I think we set a new time record for one of our chats.  Mind you I used to talk to his mum regularly & three hours plus wasn't that uncommon with her.

I'm very cross with myself as I've lost my favourite (& most expensive) ring.  I never felt like I deserved special things or things that weren't practical or necessary.  I didn't own any jewellery except a brooch I was given when I was about 5 years old.  When I turned 50 I decided to spoil myself & I bought this ring as I finally felt that I was worth having something nice that was special (I bought a few more cheaper rings since) .  I wear my rings when I go into the big town to shop & so I wore it last week, when I went to put it on to go out on Saturday it wasn't in my ring tray.  I can't remember if I took it off when I got home the last time I wore it.  I've tried calling the two shops I went to in case someone handed it in, no luck.  

I hope you get more rain soon

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

Yes I enjoy watching storms. It was quite dramatic with ground strikes from fork lightning. We were fortunate we didn't get the damage some other areas got. There was significant damage in the town of Bunbury and that came after other recent weather where they had a tornado, so they've really copped it there. There was also a waterspout off Dunsborough that I would love to have seen (at a safe distance). I'm glad you only had a few patches of rain on your drive to the city. It's not so pleasant if you have heavy rain while driving.

The bandicoots are lovely, though the males engage in full on wrestling which is like watching a wrestling match. If you were able to get YouTube I would say to look up fighting bandicoots as there are some videos where they literally throw one another across the ground. You sometimes see a bandicoot with a bit of an ear missing and I suspect it is from these battles. Unfortunately the only echidnas I've seen in the wild here are ones hit by cars, but I have seen them alive and active in Victoria and Tasmania. The ones at Cradle Mountain in Tasmania seem very used to people, probably because of all the tourists there. They just seemed to amble about in the presence of people instead of going into a ball or kind of burying themselves, like your local one. I found that wombats in Tassie were often seemingly unperturbed by people too. On a walking path I found a female carrying a baby in her pouch who just carried on munching grasses as if I wasn't there.

That's so lovely you had the good chat with your cousin. I do hope you find your ring, especially as it is special for you. I know when I come home I'm often on a kind of autopilot. I'm doing something like putting away grocery shopping and somehow in the midst of that I put my keys or phone down somewhere but have no recollection where. I did that with my phone the other day and temporarily thought I must have dropped it somewhere and was envisioning having to retrace all the places I'd been to find it. But what I'd actually done is put it on the charger and completely forgotten I'd done it. So hopefully it is the same with your ring. If you had no reason to remove it while out it seems most likely it is at home but it's tricky to notice as a small object.

I had a walk this afternoon as significant rain and a possible storm are forecast for tomorrow, so thought I'd get some exercise in today. It is only a short walk from here into farmland. I noticed a large mob of kangaroos grazing in a paddock with many cows. They seem to contentedly co-exist. I love the curiosity of cows. They were nearly all black with one brown and two cream coloured ones. Further on, on the other side of the road, there were black and white cows dotted against the green pasture. It is lovely to see the paddocks have greened up again following recent rain.

Hopefully you get some more rain where you are that will soak more into the ground.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Some more rain here would be lovely, there hasn't been any since that small sprinkle last Saturday.  I'm glad the paddocks around you are starting to show a hint of green, the paddocks here still show the green from the last rain we had, though it isn't enough to provide feed yet. 

One thing I've noticed since moving here is how much more I am aware of how changes in the weather, not just the time of year, can change how wildlife behaves.  I never really noticed it when I lived in the city, even though I liked to sit & watch the wildlife that came into my garden there.  They seem to know a storm is coming long before I'm aware of it.

I'm surprised you have beef cattle & kangaroos sharing the paddock happily.  Since the neighbouring farm changed hands & went from dairy cattle to beef cattle the kangaroos no longer use those paddocks, though that may be more to do with the beef cattle being much younger & far more nosey than the change of breed.  I do miss the mob that used to slowly over the day move from the forest at the top of the hill, down to the creek & then late afternoon start moving back. 

Do you see any of your local birds living with the cattle, there are a few breeds of birds (especially the egrets) that stay with the cattle & feed either on the insects the cattle stir up or feed of the insects that bother the cattle like flies & mozzies.  There is a farm I pass on the way to the big town, that always has one egret per cow in it's paddocks.  Often the egrets are perched on the cows back.

I've been to Tassie twice & never got to see a wombat in the wild, how very special for you, especially one with young.  I did see a pair of echidnas in Richmond which were foraging down on the river bank & they were not at all bothered by my presence, but I did stay a few metres away.  I didn't make it to Cradle Mountain on either trip, now you have me wondering why as it is one of Tassies famous beauty spots.  

It's good to know that where you are missed the the damaging storms that Bunbury got.  I hope you get some good soaking rain with the next front & fingers crossed it moves my way with some good rain.

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

I’ve noticed changes in the behaviour of wildlife in relation to the weather too. During the many months of dry weather here flocks of purple crowned lorikeets appeared and were feeding at the tops of the gum trees. It’s the first time I’d seen them here and they had perhaps migrated from even drier inland areas. At the same time the western rosellas disappeared for ages. Now the rains have come the western rosellas have returned and the purple crowned lorikeets have disappeared. So there definitely seem to be links between the species present and the weather. Yesterday I was watching a rosella feeding on my lavender bush. They are so dexterous the way they snap off a flower head, hold it in their claw and then extract the seeds with their beak.

So far I haven’t seen any egrets or other birds on the cattle here. But I have seen photos of cattle egrets in particular sitting on cattle. It is so interesting those symbiotic relationships that form in nature. I know fungi have such relationships with host plants. I was on a forest walk in a nearby town today with my camera looking for interesting fungi. I saw a few examples but none that I thought were quite right for photos. But it’s really nice to have some moisture back in the landscape.

The walk I was on was where there is a river plus some creeks. All were bone dry a few weeks ago but now have running water again which is so lovely to see. I went to this town to run some errands but decided to go for the walk after the first errand. After the walk I realised I was much too tired to do anything else so decided to come home. I’m glad I chose the walk though as it is what I most needed for my mental and physical health.

As I was driving home the late afternoon light was beautiful on the rolling hills. Many scenes would have made beautiful photos but there wasn’t an easy safe spot to pull off on the highway. It is easier to do that sort of thing on quieter backroads. I absolutely love winter light which is gentle and on a nice angle for photography this time of year.

Have you had a chance to do a bit of a forest walk near you? From memory I think you said there were some areas you couldn’t take Woofa because of the national park. I imagine you are in a climate where things like interesting fungi emerge this time of year.

I’m so tired I’m off to get a takeaway from the local Chinese restaurant shortly as much too tired to try and cook anything. I think it will be an early night. I wouldn’t mind getting up to photograph the sunrise tomorrow which will be easier if I can get a good sleep.

Have a lovely evening Paws.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I never thought that any Aussie bird would eat lavender seeds, I've learnt something new.  It is fascinating how not only dexterous some birds are, but how good they are at problem solving or passing on learned behaviours.  I find myself grabbing my field guide to birds whenever you mention one that you have seen, as I'm not at all familiar with WA birds, mind you I also grab it a lot for the birds I see here as I try to work out new birds or birds that have different plumage to the variety I used to see in the city.  

Fungi usually grows very well hereabouts, especially in the cool climate rainforest gullies deeper in the nearby hills.  There is normally such a variety over the course of the each year that there are guided fungi field walks run a few times annually.  I do get some visible fungi growing on my property, but mostly I have different types of lichen covering the trees & wooden fencing, along with a variety of moss types.  

I think it's good you prioritised your walk over your errands, even if it left you too tired to do the rest of the errand.  Being a photographer you must be much more aware of the changing nature of light than most people.  I know I get some strange looks whenever I say that I went somewhere & simply sat & watched the way the changing light changed the landscape over time.  I never thought of such things before I went overseas in my 20s & discovered how different the light was there, it made me much more aware of these things here.  

I've been meaning to ask each time you mention your forest walks, what type of forest is it?  The forests around here are mostly cool temperate rainforest with Forest Ash, Blackwood & Stringy Bark.  Deeper in the forests the gullies are filled with gorgeous ferns.

I hope you enjoyed your Chinese takeaway & had a good sleep.

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

It’s wonderful you have the variety of fungi in your area, and the mosses and lichens too. I love discovering those things. They are great subjects for macro photography. There is one fungus that I’ve seen growing in this area that looks like a yellow golf ball with dimples.

There are two main forest types in this general area. One is Karri forest sometimes interspersed with Marri trees. This is wet forest with bracken ferns and other soft-leaved understory plants including a pretty one known as Karri Hazel. Then there is drier forest which is a mix of Marri and Jarrah trees. This latter forest has drier, tougher-leaved understory vegetation including quite a few spiky plants. The Marri trees crossover between the two but tend to grow taller amongst the Karri. The drier forest has greater wildflower diversity in the spring, but some nice wildflowers appear in the wetter forest too.

I was wondering, are the Forest Ash you mention the same as Mountain Ash? I know Mountain Ash are the tallest flowering trees in the world. Karri trees can grow very tall, up to 90 metres, but not as tall as Mountain Ash. I visited western Victoria when I was 17 and absolutely loved the tree ferns. We don’t have any ferns like that here. I found the Otway Ranges absolutely beautiful. It is more lush than here and the waterfalls were magical to me.

I can completely relate to watching the light change in the landscape. When I do sunrise and sunset photography I really notice how it can be changing even within 30 seconds or less. It can be a deepening golden hue to peachy colours to pinky hues to the blue hues of dusk and dawn. Sometimes photography is described as painting with light and it can feel like that when doing longer exposures at these times of day. The longer exposures also allow the capture of water in motion in its flow state, creating silky effects. This can be great by the ocean or a babbling brook.

One of my favourite trees here in WA is the Salmon Gum. These grow in more arid areas such as the Wheatbelt and a vast area known as The Great Western Woodlands. They have salmon-coloured bark and are delicate in form. They grown on soils that are usually pinkish, orange or red. I absolutely love that country and feel very at home in it.

I was also wondering is the Blackwood you mention a kind of wattle tree? Most of the wattle trees here are more shrubs though some grow a bit more into trees. We have a tree here called a Peppermint (not a wattle) that has a weeping habit similar to a willow tree.

Have a lovely day tomorrow (or today where you are now).

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Yes by Forest Ash I do mean Mountain Ash, I don't know why but in this part of Vic it is called Forest Ash by the locals & I've picked that up.   The Blackwood is an acacia.  I googled the Salmon Gum, it does look like a lovely tree, I can see why you like it.  I would think it would be an amazing tree to photograph in different lights, rather like the Stringybarks when they have shed their bark & the grey & cream wood underneath captures the light.  

I've seen photos of streams with that silky effect & I've wondered if it was just a longer exposure alone or if there had been some tinkering on the computer, now I know.  

The BOM got my hopes up by forecasting showers all this week, then I read a bit further & it is only expected to be about 1mm a day.... grrrr.  I hope you are expecting more than that.  The sun has dropped below the horizon & the temp has dropped with it, it's back to single digits, the heater will be going on soon I think.

Stay warm

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

Yes, the Salmon Gums are beautiful to photograph, especially just before sunset when they really glow. I can imagine the Stringybarks being beautiful in that light too. Another one I find beautiful are the Snow Gums. I got to see them in Tasmania and the bark can be a stunning mix of greeny-grey, cream, red, yellow and brown. It looks amazing when it’s wet which really brings out the colour.

I had a walk a couple of hours ago and saw the golf ball fungus I mentioned yesterday. I saw three of them coming up by the side of a road, more orange than the definitively yellow ones I’ve seen before.

I read about the dry conditions in Victoria. I do hope you get decent rain very soon. We are finally getting it here. Showers are passing through today.

I’m about to have an afternoon rest on the couch now before getting up to do household chores. The wind is gusting away outside.

You stay warm too.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Yay we got some decent rain here with the cold front coming through.  Unfortunately the winds came with it & as is usual here, it meant the power went out.    

I have spent almost all the time since Sunday in bed sleeping, I just shut down.  I feel up to facing the world again today & have even managed to do a few very simple housework things already.  I've got a very stiff neck though from being in bed too long.

I think you would like the image framed by my kitchen window right now, very briefly the sun broke through the clouds & illuminated my only tree with Autumn colour against a black sky.  It really made the tree glow & enhanced the depth of colour of the leaves.

I think I will lose myself in a book today.

Hugs

Paws