Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Eagle Ray]

Hi MK, Paws and Hanna,

MK, The Boobook Owls do indeed make a sound that sounds like "boobook". They are sometimes also called Mopokes as some people hear it as "mopoke". They are Australia's smallest and most common owl. When going through a bad time a few years ago I had a family come and visit me where I was living in the city over many weeks. I actually had very acute PTSD symptoms at the time and was too distressed to sleep at night. It was summer so I took a large towel and put it in the backyard under the tree and lay there hanging out with the three baby boobook owls whose parents were off hunting to get food for them. I'd stay out there a couple of hours and my nervous system would gradually calm down to a point I could go back inside and sleep. It's like the owls were watching over me. They were fledglings so they were actually about adult size but had very fluffy tummies as they still didn't have full adult plumage. With both the fledglings and the adults you can turn your head in circles and they will copy you back, and sometimes they will do this first. I learned this from hanging out with tawny frogmouth chicks at a wildlife rehab centre who also do this. It is very cute. Owls have ears positioned asymmetrically and a special feather design that enables them to triangulate sound three dimensionally. So I think possibly these circular movements are a way they move their head to pick up sounds this way. But they also mimic you if you do it.

It is very frustrating with the foot MK. I can sympathise as mine went through several diagnoses. I think I know the post-cancer treatment you mean which my mum was on also following breast cancer. I just looked up the one my mum was on and it said a side effect can be an itchy rash. But I'm guessing you've been on it a while without problems until recently. There are so many variables and it really is challenging putting the pieces together. The ideal would be a very lateral thinking dermatologist who is good at problem solving. I really hope your GP can refer you to someone helpful and they can get to the source of the issue.

Paws, you quite often hear the boobook owls long before you ever see one, so they might be out there. Perhaps some nights just have a listen for a bit. I think they call quite a bit in breeding season which is late winter to early summer, but you can hear them all year round. Sometimes you will hear two talking to one another from different locations. When they first start their call they kind of rev themselves up at a lower register before working their way up to the boobook sound.

Take care and hugs all,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Thanks ER, for simply reminding me how wonderful owls are. I sometimes, in the earlmorning, hear a series of calls, beginning at a lowish note, the followed by a higher note, then a brief gap, then a lowish note followed by a slightly higher note, about four repititions of this, with the second of each pair of notes getting higher. Could that possibly be a boobook owl? Be so amazing if so!

*

Yeah, I'll have to be assertive, to ensure I would see someone who has experience, even to see someone privately, paying myself, (but any help from Medicare would be appreciated). While the weather is warmer, it's not too difficult to look after it, keeping it out of socks & shoes while at home, airing it like this, but when the weather is cooler my feet feel the cold very easily. I'm not sure how I will manage it, in a few months, I still have this problem.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Hello MK,

The boobook call is usually a higher note followed by a slightly lower note, then a gap, then a repeat of the same. If you google "boobook owl call" or "Southern Boobook - Calls and Sounds" you should get a YouTube video come up at the top of examples that has the call. You could have a listen and see if it is similar. What you describe sounds like a boobook call in reverse. But maybe they vary in different parts of Australia?! They do call in the early morning so it is very possible.

Speaking of noises, something is making weird grunts outside in my garden. Maybe a possum?

I really empathise with the foot. Yes, it may be worth trying the dermatologist. These things are tricky. When I first had the issue with my foot I used to have the rest of me under covers at night in winter but just my bare foot sticking out. I know that sounds weird but my foot just didn't like anything touching it or getting warm. It was surprisingly tolerant of the cold because it actually preferred it and the rest of my body seemed to stay warm enough. But I can understand it is hard if your feet feel the cold very easily. My foot seemed to generate quite a bit of heat just from being inflamed so that sort of also kept it warm I think. But I really hope you get some answers and treatment soon that helps so you aren't dealing with it in winter.

I've had some home treatments that reduced inflammation that I discovered through my own research which I think I mentioned before, but don't want to suggest the wrong thing in case it turns out aggravate rather than help. Are the antibiotics you are on in tablet form or a cream you put directly on it?

Sending healing vibes to your foot MK 🙏

Hugs,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Hi ER. Just listening to some samples on a site called Wild Ambience Nature Sounds. They also have a large picture up there, too.

That's not what I'm hearing. The sounds I'm hearing are purer in tone, no 'gargle'.

*

the antibotic is a capsule. Nearly finished the course - just one more.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Hi MK, Paws, Hanna and All,

MK, it would be fascinating to know what is making the sound you are hearing. I wonder if it's a powerful owl? I just had a listen to a sample of their call on the Wild Ambience Youtube channel and they start at a slightly lower note and then go higher as you describe. I wonderful if you have a powerful owl nearby, Australia's largest owl!

The boobook owls can sometimes have a more pure tone and other times it is more gargled as you describe. It often starts off gargly and then gets purer. But it is a descending call rather than ascending, so definitely does seem different to what you are hearing. The powerful owl call does seem to match your description and they apparently do call in the early morning.

How is the part of the foot that seemed infected going now that you are at the end of the antibiotics? I hope at least that part might be better.

Hugs,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Hi ER

I've been doing some other totally unrelated research today, but I suspect the sound is coming from a bird smaller, less powerful, than a Powerful Owl. It sounds fairly close, but the sound is not louder than a Magpie that may be equally as close, let alone as loud as a Crow.

My foot does seem better, though today the GP has said to continue to use the cream until it is all (hopefully) better. If it starts getting worse again, I'll be right back to the GP quick smart. For now, though, I have deferred seeing a Dermatologist.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Dear MK,

I'm glad your foot seems better. I imagine continuing to use the cream will help ensure its effectiveness.

Yes, listening to samples of the Powerful Owl call it does sound quite powerful, like it is from a big bird. I wonder if it is even a non-bird, so maybe some kind of night insect. I find mystery sounds so interesting.

Sleep well MK and All 😴

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & mmMekitty,

mmMekitty it's good to hear your foot is starting to show signs of improving, I will keep everything crossed it keeps doing so.

ER I have a lot of different frogs in my yard & they are very noisy at night, so I think they would drown out any owl calls from the forest across the road. There are a mix of calls which is like having an orchestra playing as they weave in & out of each others calls. So far I've identified 3 definite different types of frog by sight, but from the calls I think there are possibly another two or three.

I've spent most of the last few days in bed sleeping, only getting up to go to the loo or have a drink. It felt like my brain was trapped in a fog & I couldn't make a coherent thought. Thankfully I'm brighter today & am up & dressed. 

Gale force winds here today which are annoying as they make everything rattle. At least it isn't hot & hopefully it will stay in the low 20s all week. Fingers crossed. I hope it isn't too hot where you two are.

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and MK,

I'm glad you are feeling brighter today Paws. I hope you are doing ok. I can relate to being in a fog and having to lie down and stay in bed. It must be a sign your body really needs that rest. I've spent today in bed, partly the result of long-running health issues but also felt like I had a virus this morning with fever-like symptoms, achy body, mild respiratory symptoms etc. Did Covid RAT test which came back negative. Just taking it very easy and my activity for the day was standing in the backyard in the sun for a few minutes. I hope everything is ok for you. If the degree of fatigue, fog and need to sleep is unusual for you, you could always see your GP for a check up. Sometimes, too, I think some of us have carried a lot in the past and every now and then we need to crash for a few days, like we are still needing some recovery time. It's so good to be gentle with yourself.

That sounds lovely (as well as noisy) with all the different frog calls. I do sometimes hear frog calls at night from down by the river or from the reservoir, but they are more distant and most audible on still nights. The gale force winds sound full on. There is just a medium-strength breeze here and not hot here either. I hope the winds settle for you soon as I know it can get a bit relentless when they just keep going. It does get like that here at times and then it is so noticeably lovely when it settles. I went for a walk in one of those winds here once though and was visiting the supermarket afterwards. The lady at the checkout said she likes walking in those winds as it "blows out the old cobwebs". I thought that was a nice way of putting it, that it is kind of cleansing of stuff we might be worrying about, holding onto etc. It's kind of rejuvenating.

MK, I have everything crossed for you too that your foot continues to improve and get better. As a stingray that includes my flippers, just as I imagine it includes paws for Paws.

Hugs Everyone,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Hello Paws & ER

Just a cheeky note - keeping everything crossed,will not assist you in your mobility. Paws, you will end up falling over. ER, you won't be able to swim - not sure that means you will float or sink to the sea floor.

Thanks all the same. 

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I am so sticky with the humidity today, & it feels very warm/hot, even now at night. Tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer. There may be rain by then, but I'm not sure how much that will help. It might be a 3-shower day - I mean, I'll go for a cool shower three times at least tomorrow. Twice, today - once after going to the gym & once again before going to bed. Really, right now the humidity feels like 90% or more! I don't think I've ever felt it this humid. 

Oh, I had a really delicious lunch today, after the gym, before going home, that is. Went to a pub & had the smokey BBQ ribs, salad & chips. They put a lot of sauce on the ribs. It was very nice dipping chips in it. The meat fell off the bone so there was very little for me to bite off. that's how tender it was. Somewhat sweeter than I would prefer, but still so nice! I also had a cup of moccha, asking them to put in less coffee, more milk. It was all so good.

They make it a family friendly place, too, with a kids play area at one end of the dining area. I kept thinking it's fine for kids to have fun, but, please kids, no screaming!

Hugzies

mmMekitty