Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Pawsy 🐾 and everyone ☺

Hun Just want you to know and is truth lovey I have so much time for you but haven't been showing it by being here to support you 🤗

At intervals between poor mh I've been catching up from the last post I read which I'll continue doing over time including Hannahs hi darls 👋 and others.

😆 geez that was a lonng queue I had a nice buzz reading that. Mr sweety was also pretty quick too. I don't have to vote because of my citizenship which I feels a fair thing. It's not fair on people that know what they want like you and many others. Mine would be a blind vote as I have no doubt is often the case. I try not to complain though either.

I have no interest in politics. Same in NZ when you see people downing other parties it's like being in a school yard. These people are leading countries for crikey sake. If I did have to it'd be for someone who's talking about what and how they'll lead. Time would tell.

There's little I dont want to talk about with people and that it's important to them I don't like to shut them down. I must change my wording saying to people I have no interest in politics don't know or want to but ... talk if you like on the subject. Oops! One of some and I was in shocking mh at the time spoke solidly for about 40 mins 😆 following is a yawn in this case 😲 then 😥 ☺

Anyhoo lovey I do hope lifes being a bit easier on you these days. You sound not too bad in the posts I've read so far. Not good when friends or anyone for that matter are struggling.

Sounds like you're having some success with the mice...boomer.

Interesting about your back yard with ...🤔...umm...now I cant think what type of animal moved in a while ago. Think Hannah said it was surprising they didn't wreck the place

I'm glad you have reading Pawsy. Some goods from pleasure & company there can be learning be interesting helpful & more

Liking the tenant stuff in UK.

So you got some rain that sounds needed. The scrub fires close would've been a concern.

Here it's only just starting to cool off tho still hot at times with a Doona

Love to Woofa and yourself hun. Great he's over the doorway stuff.

I'll leave this bubble for you if you're feeling a bit blaghh...gently blow on it... insides better cause then it doesn't float away. It reforms after it pops opening up myriad of beautiful feel good memories of laughter love friendship and happies. Just breathe deeply when you see the gentle vapours float around

Cya hun ☺ 🌞🐾🗯

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and Grandy, Deebi, everyone

We are very happy here about the election results... maybe more social housing will get built at last... yes there are heaps of ways to make renting better, in Germany unless it's changed people pretty much rent for life, the government controls the rents not the landlord, there are heaps of regulations to keep tenants secure, they can redo kitchens and hang paintings on walls etc... I had a German friend once who asked me why Australians had a mortgage, she had never thought of such a thing before..

It's been chilly and overcast here today, yesterday was lovely. There is a youngish lady in the dog park who will not let her little dog play with the other bigger dogs - she pulls her away and takes her home if she tries.. we can all see how much the dog wants to play with the others.. it's a shame... we can't persuade her to let it try.

I'm still reading The Lost Mother, so little time to read lately and when I read in bed at night I start to fall asleep. I have been creative and got hold of a glass and chrome plant stand and used it to put the television on, with pot plants around it... it actually looks great, I found the tip in a decorating book! Who'd have thought.

I can't think of what else to write about at the moment, I'm so tired, so please excuse me... i hope everyone is keeping well and OK oxoxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Deebi, Grandy, wave to all,

Deebi I love the bubble... thank you 💜💙💚

Hanna your new tv stand sounds lovely... especially having the space around it for some greenery...

I have a leak under the kitchen sink... I think it is where the plug hole joins the sink basin... everything in that cupboard is soaked... I bought some leak seal spray & sprayed it yesterday... it was really hard to spray around the back of it & not spray me... it's had the 24 hours to cure so hopefully that will solve the problem... I will do some dishes later & see.

It was a lovely Autumn day here, tomorrow is meant to be the same before rain on Thursday...

Hugs to all

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone,

No wonder I felt tired, I came down with a tummy bug, better now thankfully! Paws I had that happen under the kitchen sink once, it's a pain when it all gets soaked, I hope you've fixed it OK. You seem very handy, so you probably have!

It's turned overcast and very chilly here, and all the trees are bare so it's looking like winter. My friend here is having her female dog neutered tomorrow, she is a big active dog, and we are wondering how to keep her quiet for a week once she starts to recover - any ideas Paws? I have no experience of this! She is only a block away from me, so I've told her to contact me if she is worried, not that I know anything but still...!!!

Are the mice all gone Paws? I hope so!

Are you reading anything now? Do you still do jigsaw puzzles? I wonder if you ever saw that movie about it, Puzzle. It was very good! SBS Movies channell sometimes shows it. I think you would thoroughly enjoy it!

How is Woofa, you never mention him any more? Is he OK?' Sam has turned referee at the dog park, he breaks up any scuffles among the younger dogs - he actually breaks them up very effectively, they seem very respectful of a senior age dog even if he is very small!

I think my plant stand and TV stand combined looks pretty good and very Bohemian, but this is such a quirky little house I think it works!

Sending hugs from us here oxoxoxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, Deebi, wave to all,

Hanna I hope your feeling better... tummy bugs can linger

I would hope your friends vet would give her tips on how to keep her dog quiet... one thing is to take her dog out on a lead to toilet however many trips outside it takes... especially because being kept quiet they do take every opportunity to run about... if her dog usually sleeps on her bed she will need block it from her room to stop it jumping up... playing doggy mind games will help to tire it out while it can't have physical exercise to tire it... if they have to leave it home alone... pop it's bed, food & water into a small room like the laundry (also helpful for clean up if it needs to toilet while they are away)

Woofa has been behaving as though there are still mice about... I found another hole in the plasterboard today... so that has been filled in with expanding foam & the traps are still out...

I love that Sam has stepped up into his role as elder peace keeper... young dogs are usually respectful when put in their place by an elder dog... regardless of size.

Hugs to everyone

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone

My friend told me her dog ate some dinner and fell asleep and next morning was up and about and as active as ever, and yesterday she had to take her out walking on the lead to work of the energy - and more today too - modern keyhole surgery and the dog is almost like new!

I have developed an interest in tea and tea making and am enjoying it thoroughly, ever since I bought myself a lovely teapot and started to enjoy making a lovely cup of tea... it's nice to have interests... everyone I know seems to be a coffee fan and pay a lot of money for home barrista sets - I do enjoy my coffee - but I love teapots and tea ceremonies...

There is a little village shop out of town - it is near a retirement village - it has a delicatessen that sells the usual, but a lovely woman in her 30s I would say, cooks for it too - she makes different things each day but always there is a cooked hot meal available - recently butter chicken, some days fried rice with veggies, today seasoned chicken with Greek salad.. you can buy three different size tubs, all very affordable - she said lots of the elderly people who live alone get one good meal a day that way, for an affordable cost.. what a nice idea.. I bought dinner made - it's nice not to have to bother cooking sometimes!

Today was lovely and mild, we are forecast below freezing and maybe snow next week... and energy costs are going up oh dear... what's it like down there Paws? Did you get rid of the mice now?

I had lunch out with a friend yesterday, nice cafe but lukewarm coffee and not very nice lunch really. A bit of a shame when we spent the money.. My loung room is looking cosy - just need another armchair and it's lovely and cosy - Sam has claimed the current armchair.. lucky I still have the couch!

Sending hugs from us here oxoxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, Deebi,

Definitely still have mice... I have just been trying to calm down a terrified Great Dane... he is still refusing to settle (plus he is non stop barking) because he saw a scary mouse near his bed in the lounge... it ran back behind the bookcase... I've never seen him leap from his bed so fast before... he is now standing a good metre & a half from where the mouse was in order to bark at it.

I still have a leak under the sink... grrrr tomorrow I will have to use a mirror to see if I missed a bit where I can't see when I used the leak stop spray...

Hugs to all

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws

I'm sorry about the mice.

I tried to write a nice chatty post here but it must have been really boring!

So I'm going off BB for a while. Cheers.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna,

I'm sorry if I've upset you... I most definitely did not mean to.

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

That's OK, you didn't annoy me, I was just trying to make pleasant conversation, that's all.

I might be best to do it from my thread, then if anyone is interested they can come by.

I hope you got rid of the mice! oxoxoxoxo