Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Hanna3]

I hope you are going OK there Paws. We have beautiful weather here today, like a summer day - amazing. I hope you and Woofa are able to get outdoors and enjoy the sunshine if you are getting it down your way as well!

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna,

I saw on Grandy's thread that your recliner has arrived... I hope it is comfy... I do love your idea of making a cosy nook to read in.

The mice saga continues... the horrible little blighters are destroying my indoor pot plants... digging the soil out... chewing the roots & leaves... the outdoor ones aren't faring much better...

Yesterday I went to the local hardware & bought baits... the chap there said that I'm not the only one with them invading the house in numbers... I've also bought some expanding foam to block access points as apparently the mice won't try to chew through it... the hard part is emptying & moving furniture so I can check behind for any other access points for them... it is slow going as the old body is struggling.

I'm feeling so sorry for all the people facing flooding again... the government must offer them a buy back scheme or relocate the towns to higher ground... they should never have permitted building on the flood plains in the first place.

It has been mild & dry here with cold nights & foggy mornings... though yesterday the fog lasted til mid afternoon & then only cleared enough to make it a very hazy day.

I hope your sore leg is improving

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello lovely Paws, Hanna and everyone...🤗..

I do hope you are doing okay Paws....

I hope it’s okay to try to help you with what worked for me, during our mice plague...

I remember a couple of years ago, the mice plague that I went through our towns....I am really sorry, your having to cope with those tiny little creatures invading your home..

I put out baits, under my furniture and in places my dogs could get to....which did work in a small way...then when the bait took effect..I would smell them through the house and when I would go outside I would see them laying all over my lawn.,,,so many people were baiting them, that they ended up everywhere outside...lifeless...

I think I mentioned that I googled a water bucket mouse trap...I selected the easier bucket trap to make..after a couple of attempts I did it....all I needed was a large bucket, a piece of wire, a piece of cardboard to cut into a circle for the lid and water....The first night I caught easily 30-40 mice..which I buried out back...I’m wondering if you could try to make one of these bucket traps....it might clear them out of your home quicker then the bait....and if the plague is as bad as it got here....their will be a shortage of bait and traps....

only if you want to Paws....Go to You tube and search “bucket mouse traps”...no pressure at all...just a suggestion.

I hope you are doing okay Paws, Hanna and everyone..

Kind thoughts with my love and care..

Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

I'm not going to use the baits inside... I already have 4 humane (live release) traps that I'm using indoors... I'm going to put some baits in the wall cavities where they are getting in before I block them & near any possible hidey holes on my verandahs... I've even bought the bait that has the least risk to wildlife/pets if they eat the mice... I really hate the thought of using it... (& yes I know releasing the ones I catch alive is a contradiction) I don't mind them being outdoors where they belong... I just object to them inside..... I did try your bucket idea last year when we had the plague of them... but Woofa fussed & barked for ages whenever a mouse fell in... he could hear them splashing.... I gave up using it as he was driving me batty...

If the numbers keep increasing I might give your bucket idea another go.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and Grandy, Deebi, mmMekitty, everyone

Yes it's nice to have a comfy chair where you can put your feet up and read... it gets the morning and afternoon sun in that corner, but I think little Sam has claimed it!

We have a huge book fair here once a year for charity, it takes up a couple of warehouses so I have been happily browsing - they sell for from two to four dollars, so it's good value and attracts huge crowds. Got a couple of books by Amy Witting I wanted, and another by Anne Summers. Had lunch out with a friend but the Thai restaurant she liked I thought was not much good, but we had a nice outing anyway..

Today has been such a short day, maybe because it became overcast it seemed to be a short chilly day.

How has your mouse catching been going Paws? I have looked up the bucket traps that Grandy recommends, they seem to be effective and as humane as possible compared to poison baits at least..

We have three major women's clothing stores closing down here so we are beginning to wonder where we will go when we need new clothes... at least I'm OK for the winter..

I'm going to try to vote at a pre-polling booth this week to avoid a long wait on voting day...

I hope everyone is keeping well and warm. hugs xoxoxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, wave to everyone,

I'm envious of you having a book fair to wander through... though I would find the big crowds too much these days... I used to enjoy spending time in second hand book shops... there were usually treasures to be found.

After reading Gaskell's biography of Charlotte I followed it with reading "The Professor"... I started "Villette" soon after, but lost the mood to read & so only finished it last night... each is so different to the other yet still managing many similarities between them... as reflections of Charlotte's character neither is very edifying...

We finally had some rain here on & off overnight... I'm sure the farmers would welcome more... it has also turned cold enough for Woofa to need his coat & for the heater to go on to remove the chill...

Hanna I'm a bit shocked that you would have three major stores all closing at about the same time... that must be a blow to all the other businesses in the town as well as all the locals... do you know the reason for them all going?

I hope you are both getting some lovely Autumn sunshine

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws & everyone

The book fair is always terrific - thanks to that I am reading Anne Summer's book The Lost Mother, about the portrait of her mother as a young schoolgirl.. it's fascinating. I also got a couple of Amy Witting books and some Mary Leunig cartoon books, yay!

It's going to be freezing tonight after a perfect day, so I have my tea light candles burning! They make the room feel cosy.

I was having a good talk with a friend here who has been renting all her life until just purchasing a home a year ago, in her mid fifties with a mortgage she will never pay off, she is in a good job but not huge wage.. she was saying how rude people were to her as a renter and how polite they are now she is a ' home owner' - and the mother of her neighbour was being deliberately nasty to her thinking she was a new tenant next door until someone explained she had purchased it and was the owner, and now the woman is polite. When did Australians become like this, it's dreadful. We used to take people on their character..

Anyway, that's my rant for today... I can't imagine someone as gifted as the Bronte sisters were could be very easy people to get along with... did you enjoy the other two books you read of Charlotte Bronte Paws? Another friend put me on to Rick Morton's essay On Money, and it's worth reading... I think he describes what is happening in Australia...

The shops are closing because they were badly affected by the long lock downs we had here --- nobody was shopping - and more people are shopping online, so they are all going online.. but older women don't always like buying online.. and I find it difficult when you can't try things on - sometimes they look good on the rack and terrible on, or vice versa..

My house is becoming so streamlined, everything in drawers is organised into trays... I keep admiring it all, quite a transformation and it makes finding things/housework/tidying so much easier...

We were chatting about the TV series Poldark the other day - I loved that series, did you watch it Paws? I think I could watch it again...

I'm going to try to vote early tomorrow if I can find a parking spot....

I hope you are having nice weather there and everyone here... hugs all round oxoxoxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, wave to all,

Did you know Poldark is on late on the ABC... I saw it last night whilst I was flicking channels...

I agree that we should take renters by how we find them... I fear many people become judgemental because for years many programs like A Current Affair have repeatedly shown the worst of the problem renters... they demonise all renters by association... they do the same with welfare recipients... the politicians add fuel to the fire... it was only in the 1970's that the phrase dole bludger first appeared (used by a politician)... when you think how many groups/people spent years fighting to have poor/unemployed/disabled people not blamed for their situation but rather helped... it's depressing how much we are going backwards.

Did I enjoy the two books? - no enjoy definitely isn't the right word... I do find them both interesting as a view of opinions/behaviour from that time...including comparing what was disapproved about them when they were published, which would not be today & the opposite... there are prominent aspects to both books especially The Professor that are very unacceptable by today's standards... It was these books that made me originally interested in finding out more about Charlotte herself.

No mice caught for nearly 48 hours... I'm not getting my hopes up yet that I have them all... but fingers crossed.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone,

I wrote a reply a while ago and gremlins have eaten it... I haven't read either of those books by Charlotte Bronte, I should but I keep finding other books I'd rather read first.. I've got absorbed in Anne Summer's The Lost Mother, who knew a book about searching for a lost painting and artist could be so intriguing - I think partly because so much of it happened in Melbourne and I know many of the areas...

I voted yesterday morning, it was very busy but I'm glad I have got my vote safely in.. Have you looked at the cost of rentals these days, it's horrendous, houses near where I used to live are around $800 per week... houses for sale in the part of Sydney where I grew up - which was an affordable area for young families long ago - now start at around two million dollars - this is just dreadful... I really feel for people in private rentals now.. and how young people are to save up for a home... we will have to look at countries like Finland or we will get like the USA with homeless people everywhere...

It's freezing tonight and rain forecast for most of the next week, how dreary, at least we could get out in the sun today. Sam is becoming quite growly with the younger dogs in the dog park, even the big ones, he's becoming quite assertive!

I didn't know Poldark was back late on the ABC thank you... we were talking about it at the dog park this afternoon, there was much hilarity among the women about how much we all liked Aiden Turner who played Poldark - women's humour is good natured I find and there was much laughter, a couple of the younger women are trying online dating and the horror stories were fun to listen to, just glad I didn't go through them myself! Although I did so long ago and yes you do meet some strange people...

I hope the mice have stayed away... keep warm there won't you. oxoxoxoxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, wave to all,

Well I did my civic duty & voted... I actually had to wait in a queue...😲 for a whole minute or two... 😆😆

There are so any different ways we could make housing more affordable... one option used in the UK if a property is left empty for a a certain period of time (a year from memory)... the council can then compel the owner to tenant it... either themselves or as a rental... if they fail to comply the council can (after jumping through some hoops) compulsory acquire it... That stops the people (usually trusts) who deliberately buy a property & put an unrealistic rental price (which leaves it empty) as the rental price affects the value of the property... Originally it started with the councils just chasing up owners with rundown empty properties... then they realised just how many properties were being left empty.

Hanna you're not missing much by not reading either Villette or The Professor... I honestly wouldn't recommend either of them... the most interesting aspect was trying to work out what bits were the controversial bits when they were published.

Warm here today... Woofa has been coatless & laying in the sun

Pats to all the furs

Paws