Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws

I suspect Katy has left BB. I find it hard that people can't say when they are leaving. I hope she is OK. 💝🐕

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, wave to everyone,

Katy may be just taking a break or she may even be reading along & just not feeling up to even a small post... I hope she is ok...

I have no idea why my neighbour has filled in the dam... it doesn't make any sense to me... especially given the rigmarole that people have to go through to get council permission to build a new dam, I would think a farmer would do all they could to maintain & keep an existing dam.

I've got a very sore nose... I'm not naming names but someone with very big paws wacked me in the face last night when he started running in his sleep...

Have you tried Sam with the heated blanket on his bed yet?

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Hanna and listeners.🤗.

Oh no...I did get a bit of a giggle with how you got your sore nose..not being disrespectful but idk it sounded funny...I do hope your okay though...I get lots of scratches on my legs from one of my fur babies...when I get home from work she tries to jump up and being little, lands on my legs...so many tights she has put holes in...😂..

Thank you for saying you’re here for me lovely Paws...I am getting better to cope through this month...I keep really busy...One of the harder days have passed...and one is coming up towards the end of the month...

Strange how he is filling in his Dam...I suppose he has his reasons..sad in a way, because a lot of wildlife do hang around the dams...for water and for the little insects that hang around...

It’s good that Woofa has had a couple of drinks through the day...I’m hoping he will get better and drink when he needs to..

I also hope that Katy is okay...so many people come and go on these forums..,and it’s hard when they decide to leave or have a break because even though we never meet...caring friendships are made...

My love, care and lots of fur and people hugs..

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, Grandy, everyone,

Gosh such a busy day and it's been hot too. I hope your nose is OK, poor old Woofa, is there anything you can get from the vet to help him feel calmer?

It's been too warm to use the heated dog pad, but Sam sat on it straight away which is unusual for him. He's back on his cool mat in this Indian summer we are having. The heat pad seems to get to a nice moderately warm temperature..it was hard to find a reliable seller on Ebay though.

Sorry vet appointment for Sam's arthritis shot, shopping, chemist, library, met up with people in the dog park, gave Sam a bath, only now managing to sit down very very tired. I will try to write better over the next couple of days...

Decluttering my home, there is a great Utube channel the minimialist mum that someone put me onto, my kitchen looks so nice and calm now with everything removed off the benchtops.. and I decluttered the coffee table (it has drawers) and my handbag and I'm doing a bit at a time, it feels so great!!!

Sending hugs to you and Paws oxoxoxxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, Hanna, wave to everyone,

Grandy I'm glad it gave you a giggle... recounting our mishaps with our Danes is guaranteed to give other Dane owners a good laugh too... it's not the first time he has wacked me with a paw or collected me with his big boof head or tripped me up... the nose is still a bit tender... he's lucky I love him...

I am going to miss the dam... so much wildlife frequented it... from ducks to wallabies & everything in between... plus it was always enjoyable watching the cows wading in it in summer... I always found it calming.

I was naughty last week & bought some things on line... including 2 dvds of rock musicals from the 70s... the first one was Hair the movie... after watching it once... it has gone straight into my box of things to go to the charity shop... hopefully someone will enjoy it, but I didn't... I hadn't remembered it being so bad... the other was Jesus Christ Superstar the movie... very 70s but it has held up ok as a piece of nostalgia... I also bought a giant cushion... considering I have spare cushion inserts in my linen cupboard it would have made more sense to buy cushion covers... but like the dvds it was more comfort shopping rather than sensible shopping...

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone

Nothing wrong with some comfort shopping! I must admit I wouldn't choose those movies though... what about the original National Velvet with a young Elizabeth Taylor, or Gone With the Wind, which is wonderful, I have the DVD of that..

Sorry I'm so tired today I haven't much energy here... that movie The Puzzle about a shy woman who joins with another person to enter a jigsaw competition has been on SBS Movies a couple of times, each time I've come by here to let you know and you've posted earlier the same day and I've missed you - that's probably on DVD.

Rosmary wanted me to help with a lot of garden work yesterday and it's flared up my pain so I'm taking things very quietly..

I'll try to come by tomorrow... another lovely little movie is Paulie, about a parrot who loses his owner (a young girl) and tries to find her again..

Big hugs, excuse a quick post! oxoxoxoxox

[Hanna3]

Hi again Paws,

What sort of movies do you like best? Chocolat is another lovely film! Or did you especially want musicals from the seventies?

I enjoy Nirvana and have the videos and their music.. but that's a bit later. The Beatles and The Seekers are timeless I reckon!

I hope you and Woofa are OK there. hugs. oxoxoxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, wave to everyone,

I wasn't really looking for movies to watch... what started me off was I was playing some of my old records & while listening to Helen Reddy singing 'I don't know how to love him' it got me thinking of the musical it came from & from there it was a small step to buying a cheap copy online.

I have a lot of movies on video & I still have a video player... back in the day when Bill Collins used to present movies... I recorded so many of them from the tv. I love the Katherine Hepburn/Spencer Tracey movies... Cary Grant's movies... he had such brilliant comedic timing especially in 'I was a male war bride'... so many of the Ealing Studios films that were made in the b&w era... the British made too many enjoyable movies to even start naming them... though '50,000 suspects' from the 1950's which is about a viral pandemic has eerie premonitions of the last two years... for some reason I love movies with submarines & I think I have almost every film ever made featuring one... even 'Das Boot' the German original.

How lovely of you helping Rosemary in the garden... I'm glad you got to catch up with her but sorry to hear it has left you in pain...

I went to local shop earlier... I grabbed some milk & a few other things... I then spent a good 5 minutes there trying to remember the other item I had gone there to get... frustratingly I couldn't... I now know it was some coffee as I'm down to the last few spoonfuls... grr now I will have to go back tomorrow to get some.

It's been cool & overcast all week but this weekend is meant to be hot... I'm not looking forward to it.

I hope your aches ease... hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

It's a long time since I've used VHS tapes!!! I used to like the old Ealing studios movies, I still love Genevieve and have the DVD of that. I liked Cary Grant in To Catch a Thief... but I haven't seen any movies with him in them for a long time now...

Do you have a TV with the DVD player in it? DVDs have superb picture quality now...

Rosemary comes in here and starts working on my front yard, I appreciate her help very much but the heavy work is terrible for the nerve pain I have... so I really wish she wouldn't get so involved.. but I think it gives her something to do as her husband is seriously ill...

Overcast and mild here, not the clear crisp sunny Autumn weather I like at all... have decluttered my bathroom and it looks wonderful, so kitchen and bathroom all done...

hugs for now! oxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Hanna and everyone...🤗..

National Velvet was and still is one of my favourite movies..Elizabeth Taylor and Micky Rooney made a great team...I like Gone with the Wind also....and Chocolate...is such a nice movie also....Shirley Temple I think I’ve watched all her movies...I remember Bill Collins..he was a walking encyclopaedia in films...I do love watching old classic movies...

Paws..I have a small note book..that I write things down on when I get close to running out so I don’t forget...I have a 60kilometre round trip if I run out of essentials... I get them early Monday or Tuesday mornings before work...that way only a few people are out that early shopping...

Hanna...I’m sorry your neighbour is doing that...it makes us feel obligated to helping...You might be right..about needing something to do...and also she is getting out of her house, into a different place and have you to talk to....

I hope your both are okay..Today here was a cool day...great for sleeping tonight..

Lots of hugs for everyone and lots of pats for our fur babies..

Grandy..