Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone

I wish I could type properly on a computer instead of trying to do it on this tiny phone!!! I think you've done the right thing and a catch up at your big town sounds much less stressful! Driving a long way in the heat and leaving Woofa alone when he's elderly doesn't sound good at all.

I wonder how much the trouble with getting motivated to do housework is to do with nobody calling in? I suspect that's at least part of my problem. I've been decluttering one drawer at a time this afternoon sitting in the aircon in the lounge and carrying a drawer in from another room to declutter it in cool comfort with a trash bag ready. I have decluttered the bathroom and part of the bedroom so that's something. I wonder if you could try that?

It's nice to see a tidy uncluttered medicine cabinet in the bathroom!

Sam's been very tired so we're having a quiet day here and everything is closed anyway! It's hot this afternoon.

Paws I've been reading a lovely book called The Orchard Thieves by Elizabeth Jolley, an old Australian author. It's narrated by the grandmother about her daughters and grandsons and I wonder if you would enjoy it? I'm sad to finish it!

You are doing the best you can dear Paws. Don't be so hard on yourself. My friend G a while ago told me that I am my harshest critic, and I think that applies to you and Grandy too.

Big hugs!

🤗🐶🐾🐕💖

[demonblaster]

Hey our Pawsy 🐾 and lovelies too ☺

Sounds like a wise choice passing on the reunion for now and a good compromise with your sister and sil coming to you. It would be a worry Woofa being alone in that heat. You're a good Mum you all are to your beautifuls

How lovely hearing of your relative wanting to eat some more. Must be a goid relief hearing that Pawsy. Clearly you care very much it'd be hard not seeing them.

Yip hearing you word for word on doing things. Stinkin motivations a very hard one isn't it.

I think we tend to focus on what we haven't achieved more so than what we have. The nature of depression is to let us pretty much only think on negatives. Our jobs to create some light that opens our minds a bit making more room for more positive thoughts and memories. It's hard yakka eh ☺ pretty whacky really, we want to be happy and free of pain yet it's like another presence dictating our lives. Pfttt

I reckon we can and will get there girls. It's a slog but worth the yards. Our m8nds are powerful we've gotta take the reins.

Humiditys horrid it wipes us doesn't it. I don't like being smothered in heat blaghh some love it. Don't understand except maybe having that blanket around them.

Hope there's some sun today there Pawsy that you can enjoy with dear Woofa.

Take good care lovely one ☺🤗🐾🌞⚘

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi, Hanna, Grandy, Katy, wave to everyone,

Thankfully a cool change has swept through so we are humidity free.... Yay!!! Woofa is out on the back verandah in the cool... busily making up lost time chatting with the other dogs here about.

Some small achievements today... I went & got my booster... I did the dishes... that's about it

Not having a smart phone, I have read all the bumph the government puts out about how to get a copy of your vaccination status without one. They say you can ask your doctor to print one off for you... well not at my doctors... they didn't even know how to look up when I had been given my second shot to confirm what I was telling them... so that means I will have to go to the medicare office to get one... (I did try online but it wouldn't go through & then it locked me out) grrr

Paws

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Paws

I think they’re pretty good achievements 🙂

I saw a news story about how much difficulty people are having trying to provide proof of vax. 400 people on a wait list in a regional WA town seeking assistance from the local library. Ridiculous! Hope Medicare can get it sorted for you without too much fuss.

Cool change expected here too, which I’m sure my furs will appreciate. Hugs (and an ear scratch for mr wonderful) x

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws

There was such a cold wind here this morning it felt winter-ish, but it's supposed to get hot during the week so it's very strange weather.

When I mislaid my Medicare card I rang Medicare and the wonderful woman in Canberra I spoke to also organised for a hard copy of my vaccination certificate to be posted to me as I wanted it as a back up to my phone proof.

If you ring Medicare it only took her moments as all the records are on their computer system and they will post it to you. You just need to wait a couple of weeks.

It's an overcast rather blah afternoon here now. I'm going to get a hot coffee!

☕🔥😊🐕🌞

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

You haven't posted here recently and I thought I'd bump you up a bit!!!

I'm sorry you've been feeling not good lately. I was going to post here and you beat me to it on my thread. Is there anything we can help with here? You know you have friends to listen to you here...

Paws I wonder is there a chance of you finding some way to meet people casually like I am in the dog park, where people just turn up when and if they feel like it.. nobody has to book... it's just a casual chat but everyone is supportive.

Is there anything in your town like a neighbourhood centre, or charity that offers a cup of coffee, where you could mange to go and chat to someone friendly? You seem to be very isolated and it's OK but if you ever need help, is there anyone there you can turn to?

I know trying to go to that meetup one time was too much for you, so I am thinking of something similar to what I have here, where you just rock up if you feel like it... The first time is hard, and after that it gets easier and easier.

Would it be worth looking around? I do get worried about you being so alone. Unfortunately here we can't actually talk to you, it's just typeface!

Could you try a small walk with Woofa, and maybe get talking to someone, so people would get to know you a little bit?

Just some random thoughts. I know it's not easy. If you just found one person you could call on if needed, or chat to occasionally, you might not feel so down? Your thoughts?

Music is this week and I have hardly had time to practise!!! Eeeek. I spent ages at the dog park this arvo and I meant not to, but we were having an interesting discussion about corruption on local councils!

I'm reading a lovely little book by Elizabeth Jolley, The Orchard Thieves. It's just lovely. I wonder if you have a library there that might have it?

Sending big hugs from me and slightly tired, fluffy ones from little Sam, who is currently snoozing in front of the fan - it's hot here!

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, Katy, Deebi, wave to everyone,

I know what has triggered this rough patch... though they passed many years apart both of my brothers & my dad's anniversary occurs over a 5 week period from late January to this week... add to that he latest news about my elderly relative is her appetite has gone again & they are struggling to get her to even take the liquid meals... with covid running rampant I don't dare try to visit her...

I went to the chemist early last week to fill a script & they printed my vaccination status for me... yay I don't have to attempt centrelink....

I reread a book I haven't read in decades last night... Tirra Lirra by the River... by the Australian Author Jessica Anderson... it was written in the seventies & won the Miles Franklin Award... it was strange rereading it with 2022 eyes... it is definitely a book of it's time... it's about a woman trying to escape the life conventions/society say she should live... perhaps it's just a reflection of my mood, but I found it a sad story this time around.

My sister & sister in law are planning to meet up with me in big town for lunch on Saturday... it is a tentative date as my sister is not sure if she will be free...

I did my dishes this morning... so that is one achievement for today

Hugs to all & pats to furs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi paws and everyone

I was hoping to reply from my laptop which works for a few minutes but the BB site won't let me log on.

I'm glad you have people visiting when it's been a sad time Paws! I'm sorry about your elderly relative

Can you at least talk with her on the phone? If she is able to talk.

I loved Tirra Lirra by the River and it was sad about her father in the book (and in real life). I have her book Stories from the Warm Zone which is partly reminiscenses of her childhood around Brisbane. She writes beautifully.

I've spent much of thus afternoon chatting online with an old friend back in coastal town, it's been nice!

It's terribly hot and I gave Sam a bath to cool him down. We had a huge thunderstorm last night and he was terrified poor little guy, so we haven't had much sleep!

I hope you feel better soon, big hugs! 🙂💝🐶🐕🏡🍀🌄🌞

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, Deebi, Katy, wave to everyone,

Vet visit this morning... Woofa wouldn't get out of the car again so the vet did the consult there... arthritis needle & some stronger anti inflams... I had wanted the vet to see for himself some of Woofa's issues... such as if I touch a part of his spine his back legs go... plus he is starting to have trouble getting up & down... the only issue the vet saw though was Woofa had an accident on the back seat... he has been having more accidents of late usually just little nuggets that he isn't even aware of passing... the vet's opinion was he has a pinched nerve in his spine probably due to his arthritis... there isn't a lot they can do apart from the anti inflams & pain relief... the vet brought up the knowing when it's time conversation... we agreed he is ok for now but the spine issue may worsen slowly or it may deteriorate quickly & I need to judge what is best for him... he doesn't do zoomies or play more than a minute or two with his toys anymore but he is still happy in himself... so unless his back end fails suddenly there isn't any reason to let him go just yet as he is healthy apart from that.

Woofa was very good when we got home & stood for me whilst I washed the poo out of the fur about his rear end & paws... he is fast asleep beside me after his outing... & I now have the not enjoyable job of cleaning the back seat... yuk!!

I will try to send some of the cool weather here to all of you still sweltering... it sounds bad still in WA & almost tropical in NSW with the heat & storms...

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

Poor old Woofa! That would explain his behaviour, a slipped disc, ouch. I would go with the vet - as long as he doesn't seem to be in constant pain and seems otherwise content and enjoying life, that's what counts. Let's hope the new meds will help with the discomfort. Poor dog, no wonder he hasn't wanted to get in or out of the car!

At least now you know.. perhaps do your best to keep him warm and comfy in the winter as it gets cooler.. I give little Sam a gentle massage regularly, he does enjoy that and it relaxes him - it's good to relax the muscles which tend to get tense when there is pain - would Woofa permit you to gently massage him?

I'm sorry to hear you have this worry, but let's hope Woofa will be all right with pain medication and your kind and loving care. Keep us updated on how he is.

Little Sam and I send hugs and cuddles your way!!! oxoxoxoxoxo