Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws

I'm so sorry I've only just seen your post! I feel terrible you've been languishing here with no replies!

What news of your relative? You sound as if you're doing fantastically with achieving getting something done each day and getting to bed a bit earlier, good for you!

I haven't been able to get the Vax certificate from Medicare connected to the Covid check in either. I have them separately on my phone. I believe the app is playing up as many people have the same problem!

I promise I'll check on you tomorrow. I think everyone seems to be busy.. I'm so sorry you've been here alone!!!

How's Woofa going with the arthritis poor dog?

Big hugs!!!! 🤗🐕💗💗💗🐾🐾🌻

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna,

Please don't feel that my posts need to have someone reply... we are all on bb for differing amounts as we need to be... it is ok if no one replies... sometimes we don't have the words or r/l has us to busy to be here... that is the nice thing about being on here... that there is no pressure to post or reply.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Thanks Paws it's been busy here lately where Iive and I've had things to deal with.

All OK just limited time sometimes!

Hope you're going OK 🙂💌🍀🐕

[Hanna3]

Hi paws and everyone

Paws any more news about your relative? Do you know when you might be able to visit her?

Did you manage to get help with mowing your lawn? How's the nice new neighbour going?

And how is Woofa after his arthritis needle? Are you still having trouble getting him out of the car?

How are you keeping?

I'm sorry I'm having a bit of a break but I'm not forgetting you all!

The river here is flooded again and it's cold with rolling storms. Then supposed to get hot and muggy later next week which is not pleasant!

We are OK here just some stuff to deal with. Meeting a friend for a cuppa tomorrow.

SBS movies has had some superb films on recently.

Hugs from me and little Sam 🙂🐕🐾🐾💖🌻🌼🍀🍃🌳🎶

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, Deebi & Katy,

Well a busy few days... managed to sweep & vac, dusted, cleared clutter, did a few loads of washing & packed away the fire guard (which makes much more room)... all squashed into 3 days... left me very sore & quite stressed... but I wanted to try to lessen the mess before my friend & her hubby came to visit yesterday... thankfully we have known each other for over 50 years so she is like family & I knew she wouldn't be fussed that I hadn't been able to get everything done... the floors need washing as do the windows & there are still boxes of stuff needing sorting filling the corner of the dining alcove... as well as everything else I have hidden away not done... it was nice to catch up even though they were on their way to SA & couldn't stay very long...

Weather permitting the chap will come to mow Tuesday onwards...

Woofa is better on the anti-inflam meds... though I am in his bad books as I've been out in the car twice & I left him at home both times... I'll give him a few more days before I try him in the car again...

I needed a quiet day today so Woofa & I had a lie in &we have been on the couch most of today with our paws up...

The african violet in my kitchen that I had managed to keep alive for a few years has turned up its toes... I don't know if I jinxed it by saying I had kept it alive or if it got the huff because I bought in new plants... lol

Sorry for waffling... I'm still unsettled so I think I will do a jigsaw to settle me

Hugs to all of you

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi paws and everyone

How nice you had visitors Paws, did you have enough time with them? How long since you last saw them?

It's great you got all that housework done, it must have been tiring, but it shows what motivation can do. I think that's what we miss, is not having people coming by our homes... Well done you! 🙂

African violents are notoriously easy to kill - I think usually it's due to overwatering. I used to grow them a lot and I had a friend who always had gorgeous ones. I asked her what the secret was and she said it's important to stress the plant sometimes to get it to grow stronger, so she used to deliberately under-water them regularly. It seemed to work for her...

It's been cold today and Sam snapped at me this afternoon after his walk so I wonder if his arthritis is affecting him. We did a very long walk this afternoon through areas we haven't been before and he seemed very happy!

The river here is flooded and he had a big swim this morning but cane out the colour of mud and I had to pit him in the laundry tub afterwards and wash him down!

Any news of your relative Paws?

Waves to Grandy, Katy, Deebi, Quirky, Dools, everyone 🙂👍🐾🐕💖🌻🎶🌳🍀

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and readers...

Wow Paws you done so much housework before your friend arrived..very well done...I keep my house umm let’s say comfortable and lived in when I’m on my own..once I know my support worker is doing a welfare check in...I clean my home before she comes....What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her....

Your friend sounds very lovely and very caring calling in to see you on their way to S.A...

I hate washing my windows because we have hard water and does matter what I use on them, they always get cloudy streaky lines all over them...I let nature wash the outside..😁...

I like the sound of you and Woofa laying on the lounge with your paws up....I have been doing a lot of that lately except my 2 fur girls are wriggling all over me to get the closest to me...and if I stop patting them even for a second they protest by jumping on me....When they go to bd with me..they are well behaved...

African Violets were huge back in the 70s...Everytime I bought one, it didn’t last long, then I would buy another one to replace it..I must have bought a dozen of them before I decided no more...

I opened up a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle..the first in a few decades, I started sorting out all the edges to start their..not sure if that’s right or not...oh dear I’m having trouble even putting the edges together...but I hope that I will be patient enough to see this through....before I pack it away forever...

I hope your feeling a little bit more settled...remember that we are all for you and we do care a lot about you..if you need to talk we are all good listeners...

Hugs to you and Woofa lovely Paws....and everyone reading..

Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, Hannah, wave to everyone,

It's strange how plants go in & out of fashion... there are a few plants I remember from years ago but no regular nursery is selling them now as they are no longer fashionable... the specialist nurseries that have a couple of them are charging far more than I would ever pay for a plant... especially as I have a black thumb...

You are brave trying to do the edge of the jigsaw first... I usually find that too hard... I prefer to pick a feature & sort through looking for those pieces to pull out & start with...

Woofa came in the car with me today... he didn't want to get out straight away when we got home... but it only took a few minutes for him to decide to get out... so a big improvement...

Sam must have been reading beauty magazines at his groomers if he decided to get a mud pack with his swim... after all they are supposed to be good for the skin ( lol )... I hope you have covers for your car seats... he is a little mischief.

The grass finally got mowed today... I forgot to ask the mowing lads about using the charger... they got everything except the paddock mowed in just 2 hours... what a time difference having two industrial sized mowers compares to how long it takes with my little mower... I had to chuckle at Woofa when I let him out after they had mowed... he was very unsure about all the tall grass being gone... he walked about as though he was expecting it to suddenly pop up & attack him...

Very hot here the last two days... really strange seeing all the rain over Melbourne on the news when I had clear blue skies here...

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone

Gosh I'm home late tonight. Paws I'm glad you got the grass mowed and it sounds like Woofa is at least improved with the arthritis treatment.

That's interesting about the jigsaw puzzles, I always do the edges first and I try to put all the colours with each other... Your method sounds good too.

Terribly hot here today and tomorrow. Yes Sam loves to be muddy, apparently if you're a dog it feels great!

Sending furry hugs from Sam!!! 🙂👍🐕🐾🐾💞🎶

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Hanna and readers..

Thank you for your tip on the way you do your jigsaw puzzles...I will try that as I’m not getting anywhere with edges first..it’s the first one I’ve done since being a small girl...I did try doing one in my 30s but that’s another story....won’t go into that.l.

Im pleased your lawns are done..that must be a relief for you, and you would feel better with short grass..lMine needs mowing again...Through the drought, I didn’t mow it all summer, this year it’s been every week.l.land I’m so over it...

Its hot here today..I think summer has begun now 😠...we have a power outage today in my town...(tree cutting)..I hope they don’t touch the gumtree across from me....I got my small gas camp stove out for boiling water....😂 can’t go without my cuppa tea...

Hope your day is a good day...and you feel some light in your day...goes for everyone here..

Love, with my care and hugs dear beautiful people..

Grandy..