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Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
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Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.
Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.
My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.
A number of events in
my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I
needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis
of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each
day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my
siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still
don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving
goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years
ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I
couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my
down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was
fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that
things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the
everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog &
maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.
Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my
post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.
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Hi Paws
I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. What has caused this to happen suddenly? Has something triggered this?
Can you ring someone for support? I wish you would talk to someone...
All I can do is say I care about you and will come back later to check on you.. And meantime send gentle hugs your way and soft fluffy cuddles from little Sam. If he could he'd climb into your lap and give you lots of doggy kisses!
Hugs 💟🐕💞🐦🐈🐀🌻🥀💐
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Hi paws
I hope you are OK I came by again to check on you. Gentle hugs. I hope someone else will come by to support you, you are always supportive of others here dear lady.
Sam sends fluffy comforting cuddles your way.
Can you cuddle Woofa?
Have you rung a helpline to talk with someone?
I hope you sleep well...
💞🐦🌿🐕🐮💟
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Hey our dear friend Pawsy 🤗 hi girls ☺
Ah darlin you're in a tangle aren't you. Here's another heart to soul hug dear girl 🤗 feel the energy and care from your many friends here that care deeply
It's ok to cry darl let it out. Probably do you the world of good. It's like a deep cleansing from within and a good outlet for much needed release of stress.
The girls have put out some good ideas about your battery and no nothing at all silly about anxiety biting with beasty leading the way.
Be gentle huns breathe as deep and calmly as you can often. Feel the rubbish leaving your bod. In these hard times we tense up incredibly without realising it. Feel your neck muscles relax breathing out.
You're going to get through this especially after a few really good restful nights sleep which hoping starts tonight.
You're clearly an intelligent lass as I love you saying. I've seen it's deep in you to work through
There's good benefits I'm finding pushing gently through the no I don't/can't do it dialogue. Go easy & yes as mentioned do something small for now. Self belief's a must and it's true you have can and will conquer again.
On the other side it's ok if you rest but not at the expense of beasties
Each anxiety nag hun ask is it likely to happen. If it did you'd handle it. It's negative energy.
Did any paperwork come with the charger lovey. Excellent thought to ask the nice neighbour. You know when you're in clearer head space you'll be more likely to find it easier to work it out. Oh darl I really do know how it gets when in poor mh. Maybe the lawns can wait for now. They'll be there
Oh I asked Sir Woofiness 😅 loven woofiness to take you for a squiz outside tomoz for a break from upstairs. Breathe in the fresh air then release the weeds. See the trees cows if they're there yet grass & if there's sun how it softly drapes over everything. Can you hear the birdies darls they have such a well named chirpy happy chat minus the sqwarkers. Feel the sun air & ground beneath your feet.
Another grounding technique Grandy said & I heard elsewhere with one finger feel the outline of your others... up down around focusing on that only
Glad you're going to have a big glug of your energy drink. It sapped mine making It but hey... you're worth it
That energy beasty draws is yours. Draw on that lovey towards lifting up. Tell [IT] on no uncertain terms who's boss! It's helped me so often. You CAN darl believe it friend ✊
Love care & thoughts 🐾
Deebi 🤗
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Oh Paws, I’m sorry to read your post. You have been down for a while now. How would you feel about chatting to someone? Maybe a check in with your gp? The irregular sleep pattern is probably not doing your MH any good.
I hope your big fella is keeping a watchful eye on you. You’re a beautiful person and i hate to think of you sad. Thinking of you and sending big virtual hugs. Thanks for being here for me when you’re struggling yourself. I’d really love to sit and have that convo with you. Katy
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Hi paws
It's very early morning Tuesday and I have to drive to another town today and I have to check on a friend who is having a huge operation in hospital... I was on the phone to her for hours yesterday which is why I'm so sorry I haven't had much time here... So I wanted to say I hope you go OK today and I will pop by at some stage.. I do care about you...
Big hugs from us here 💟🐕🐮☔🐀🐈🐦🌿🥀🌻
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Hello Hanna, Deebi, Katy, Grandy & everyone,
Sorry about my last post... I meant to hit delete not post... as I wasn't up to writing anything that might have made sense then.
My anxiety got away from me... I'm sure it's familiar to you all.. the nausea, vomiting, migraine, being cold but clammy... it also triggered my feelings of loss from losing a brother 6 years ago... hence the tears from that & just feeling blah...
Better today... still have a headache but that will probably linger for a day or so...
Hanna you saying about having fish & chips the other day has made me think I might get some for tea tonight... I haven't had any for months & I feel the need for something salty... I'll have to ring them soon & put in my order for pick up later. Yes I will share some with Woofa, he is usually good & keeps his nose to out of them on the drive home..
Thank you all for being here for me... very much appreciated
Hugs
Paws
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Hi paws
Sounds like you had a nasty attack of anxiety.. I hope you are improving now.
I hope you get take away for dinner, sometimes we need to treat ourselves!
I'm just home from a very long day so going to have a rest!
Hugs from us here 🙂🐦🌿💐🐕🌻
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Dear Pawsy 🐾 hi girls and readers ☺
Wowsa sounds like you've had real dose of nasty stuff poor girl.
I've had full blown migraines geez feels like a jackhammer in the head and yes nausea etc it's horrid isn't it. You probs know they recommend a dark room. So good that's eased off. Yes same with my bad ones from the neck linger up to 3 days. I do hope it choofs sooner than later. Being our head where everything for us to function really pulls us down.
How sad losing your brother Pawsy. Never easy for sure. Sounds like there is a lot of love there. Must have been a really good bloke 🤗
That's quite OK. not deleting because we knew where you're at and want to cause we care so much ☺
Oh yeah yum sounding good fish & chips don't think I'll ever not love greasies. Hope you enjoy lovey.
Ahh good boy Mr Woofiness 😆 look out never gunna tire from that one. He sounds awesome. There's a big Woofiness a couple of doors away we pass walking to the shops most days...hymmm he could walk over the fence which scares me something silly 😨 other day probs just wanted to say hi but the rare time an owner was with him he pulled him back with the collar. Heart beat again later that was after I fainted 😉 nah but ...
There's a whopping great placid seeming woofa around here at times. Know the name if I hear it...humungus...don't think or might be a Merrimer (sp)
Dear Pawsy you're so welcome darl it's a pleasure being able to return support you're awesome I hope you realise that
Catch ya hun and anytime you need to chat go for it that's what this amazing place gives us the space to do.
Always care thoughts and love.
Go easy huns ☀️💗🐾🕊
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Hi Paws
Was just reading an article about lack of sleep in relation to MH. Not sure if you’re into using phone apps but the article recommended CBTi coach - says it’s evidence based and was designed to assist with ptsd symptoms. Anyway, wanted to mention it.
Hope you got your fish n chips and the head’s cleared up x
Katy
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