So, how was your day?

[Doolhof]

I've had a busy kind of day that went very well. I have managed to work, go for a swim, had lunch in a park, enjoyed a coffee and biscuits with a client and looked at the second hand tent we have just bought ourselves.

I went down to the chook house to check on my "ladies" and had a chat with them while they clucked away waiting for me to feed them. I also had a look to see where we can set the tent up in the garden this weekend to try it out. I'm already thinking of places nearby where we can go camping. I will also ask my sister and nieces if they would like to join me sometime.

Please feel free to contribute and share how you have spent your day.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Hopefullseeking]

Hello Mrs Dools,

I can do the easy and medium Sudoku with little effort and some of the hard ones but with the super hard or extreme forget it.

Yes I did get to the second hand shop and found a black twin candle holder, looks good, I will frequent the shop and check it out.

I have been working on releasing the bad/negative energy but it's difficult, seeing my brother at Easter I was on edge and ever vigilant. I am doing exposure work with writing down an incident with my brother write every morning, it turns my stomach but I am giving it a go.

My memory is a shocker too, the psychologist said its tied into the PTSD which makes me feel a little better. I can't remember much of my childhood or even what happened last week sometimes.  Names forget it.  We have bad memory in common.

I have been buying more stuff for my unit and it is starting to look really warm and inviting, so different to before, much more color.  I am surprised what you can do on the cheap.

I have a nice blue plague with white writing saying Relax in all different sizes the writing that is.  I look at it all the time and remind myself to relax.

I went to the beach yesterday with two friends and collected shells to put in a glass bowl but didn't get enough. A good excuse to go back to the beach. We had fish and chips later in the day.  Overall it was a good day and I don't have many of them so I will treasure it.

Don't ever think people don't care because they do, maybe they just don't know how to show it.

I care.

Have a good week.

Hugs

Anne

[Doolhof]

HI Anne,

It sounds like your unit is coming along nicely. Yes it is very surprising to see what you can find in a second hand shop.

At the moment I have a client who is cleaning out stuff from his home. He has offered it to me and anything I don't want he has suggested I give it to the Church for their sales or to the second hand shop.

I have been able to pass on some things to my friends and my family. He had a huge cooking pot I gave to my Dad as he likes to make jam. A friend loves anything that looks old so I gave her an enamel jug the guy was throwing out. She was so thrilled when I gave it to her on the weekend.

I dropped off some bags of stuff for the second hand shop, so hopefully someone will like some of it.

Today I had two clients to assist. One of them is becoming a little "naughty" as I ask her if she wants something from the street and she will say no and tells me she has a long list of house hold jobs for me to do for her.

I am supposed to be taking her shopping! Anyway, when I have only 1/2 hr of allocated time left, she will tell me she needs to go to the shops to pick up her medication and buy some vegetables! It takes about 10 minutes just to get her out to the car! Ha. Ha.

Next week I will definitely tell her we need to go to the shops first if she wants to go or it will not happen as I have another client to assist after I see her.

I was late for the next lady and had to apologise to her, that then made it even later for me to arrive home.

We had some more rain today, so that will be very nice for the garden. The grass is starting to grow so the chooks will be very happy when I let them out for a run.

I'm hoping to get to the beach again soon as well. Hope you have found some nice shells.

Cheerio for now from Mrs. Dools

[Hopefullseeking]

Hi Mrs Dools,

Sorry I haven't answered you sooner but my phone won't let me answer posts so have to wait till I get on the computer.

Yes my unit is looking so good and different to what it was before, it's homely now and feels warm and welcoming. It's becoming such a positive in my life.

I have a friend that does the same work as you do, she loves it. Looks like you need to put some boundaries in place with your client, easier said than done isn't it.  I use to work in nursing homes and the oldies are so set in there ways and can be cunning when they want something.  They are such dears and deserve the best.

I am having a really bad day,  doing exposer work for the psychologist, writing stuff down about my brother and it mucks up my head.  I had so many nightmares last night that I am really down this morning but I am at my volunteer job so have to hold it together until I get home. So agitated. I know in the long run it will be good but right now it is the pits.

I get so sick of dealing with the past but it haunts me and just hangs around no matter how hard I try to let it go. 

Anyway better go.

Have a wonderful week and thanks for talking with me.

Lots of love

Anne

[Doolhof]

Dear Anne,

Hi. Great to hear from you again. I am sorry to read that you have been having such a rough time, I can only imagine what you have been through and continue to experience emotionally and mentally.

It is wonderful you are happy with the transformation of your unit. I am liking this change of season, as in the summer we pull the curtains and blinds down to shut out the heat. Now it is Autumn and cooler, we can have the blinds and curtains open.

Where we live we don't need to be concerned about anyone looking in, so it is great! I am hoping to get out into the garden later. I will need my rubber boots on as it has been so delightfully wet here recently.

I've been a bit flat this last week. I feel like I am chasing my tail all of the time and getting no where! I just don't seem to find the time to do the things I would like to do. That then frustrates me which makes me annoyed and then angry! Oh dear!

Today is a new day, so I will try to make the most of it. We have friends coming around for dinner and the evening, so that will be nice. I will think of a dairy free dessert to make later on.

There is a man from our Church whom I am assisting at present. When he is not home his son pops in to check up on me. Neither of them are very friendly and his son especially is very curt, abrupt and blunt. Some people have poor social skills or they consider themselves better than a person cleaning for them! Ha. Ha.

While I am out in the garden, I will have a look to see if there is anything I can bring inside to put in vases to make our home look more alive and fresh! That will add another dimension to the place.

I hope you have some nice plans for the weekend.

All the best to you, from Mrs. Dools

[Hopefullseeking]

Morning Mrs Dools,

So good of you to reply, it gives me something to look forward to.

Yes it is a bit rough and has been for a very long time but I do have snippets of good days and I cherish these.  I know it will get better, I just have to put in the hard work and be patient but it does get trying day after day. I have Dysthymia so will never be a happy chappie all the time but some time would be good.

I am liking my unit, I can't believe how different it is and how different I feel in it, it is pleasant and welcomes me home which it never did before. Sounds like a person doesn't it, no only my cat to greet me, he was hand raised so has known nothing but human company. To him I am his mum.

Yes sometimes there are not enough hours in the day and others times there are too many.

Hope your dinner party went well.  I am heading over to a friends for lunch today, we are both watching what we eat, ha ha, so it will be tuna and salad, still yummy.

That's unfortunate that neither of these men, including the one you care for, are pleasant considering what you are doing for them, unfair on you. Be happy in the fact that you are doing your best and helping them no matter how ungrateful they may be.

The psychologist I am seeing on the Mental Health Plan is terrific and so helpful, on Tuesday I am up to number 8 of 10 sessions, my psychiatrist wants me to have another 10 sessions and I am blessed with a wonderful brother who is willing to pay for them, I can't afford it. So looks like I will be progressing with the hard yards and hoping with everything crossed that I will be so much stronger and feeling happier at the end. My brother doesn't know about the incest and I am not about to tell him, he knows I suffer from depression, anxiety, dysthymia and PTSD, that is all he needs to know for now.

Better go and get ready to go out.

Hope you have a wonderful week and managed to find some flowers in your garden to brighten up your house.

Hugs

Anne

[Doolhof]

Dear Anne,

Hi. I too look forward to your replies, so we are both helping each other through our friendship here at BB. If others are reading our messages back and forth, hopefully they too are encouraged by our sharing and realise people are willing to listen to and support each other.

It is wonderful your brother is able to help you financially so you can continue with your treatment sessions. If you don't mind me asking, how many brothers do you have? Any sisters? I have two sisters.

My day at Goolwa didn't go quite to plan, but I still had a lovely day. My husband decided to just drop me off in the town while he went off to join in with the meeting he was attending. Usually I have the car and pick him up later, so I missed out on my walk along the beach as it was too far away.

I did enjoy a look around the local market and a  walk along a path near the river and a road. I saw some pelicans, so that was lovely.

Our evening with friends went well. My friend can not have any dairy produce and is a very healthy eater, so we had chicken and salad while the others had pizza. We had a wonderful surprise when their 18 year old daughter decided to join us and later told us she would like to stay over at our place one weekend.

I didn't find any flowers in our garden apart from geraniums and my husband dislikes them with a passion. Ha. Ha. So I found some stems of different bushes and made up a vase  full of bits and pieces. It looks quite nice.

We have cat too. She was purchased form an animal rescue place when she was 15 months old and is not at all friendly. She doesn't like a pat nor to be held, but she is so funny at times she cracks me up laughing.

I'm going to try to push myself to go for a walk in the morning and in-between clients I am going to the indoor pool.

You are right, I won't allow those two guys to get under my skin. I will be polite and courteous to them and do my work well. I'm not going there as their friend after all, maybe they just see me as a person working for them!

Hope you have a good week.

Chat with you again soon, from Mrs. Dools 

[Hopefullseeking]

Hi Mrs Dools,

So glad you feel as I do about writing here and keeping contact, it helps me to know others like me.

Spoke to my psychologist and she is only to happy to add another 10 session on.  Todays session was difficult as I showed her the writings I have been doing about my brother, I think I was teary before she had finished reading.  I did it though with the aim of it helping me no matter how painful now.

Brothers I have 4, one in Scotland, London, (he is paying for my sessons) Gosford and THE brother in Brunswick Heads NSW. No sisters. Day died many years ago, mum is still going strong.

Ohh, sorry to hear you missed out on your walk along the beach, I don't get there very often but find it very soothing and it's like I have no worries when paddling along the waters edge.

You and your husband must be a warm and caring couple as it's unusual for a young one to want to stay at and older couples home.  I am 60 so I get it. By calling yourself Mrs I am presuming you are over 45, if you don't write back I know I am wrong. 🙂

I have geraniums growing,  a light and another bright pink, red and orange. I love them as I can't kill them Ha Ha.

My last cat wasn't friendly at all, look at him twice and he would scratch you whereas, my present cat wants constant cuddles, the moment my bum hits the lounge chair he is on my lap wanting affection. Its beautiful but at times I am to edgy to have him at me all the time, I'm sure you know what I mean.

I got a nice surprise yesterday, where I volunteer they offered to pay me for a couple of days work as I do spent a lot of time there and they have a bit of money left over this financial year.  They have uni student placements there and the manager doesn't like leaving them there without her or a long term volunteer so when she is stuck I often offer to help out.  I don't mind as I prefer to keep busy, it helps with my mental state. I am saving for a couch so it will help heaps.

Nearly run out of space so better be off.

Have a wonderful week.

Hugs

Anne

[Doolhof]

Hi Anne,

Depression and mental illness can rob us all of so much love and care that others would gladly give us, only we feel like we don't deserve it! I am sure there are so many people who are very thankful that you are around!

That is wonderful news regarding some paid work! Congratulations to you! I have managed to gain employment three times through volunteer work. I am so pleased you will soon be buying a new couch! You and the cat will love that.

Yes, I am over 45, I was 50 last year and had a wonderful party. My husband will be 50 this year and does not want a party at all, just a small gathering of friends at a restaurant somewhere.

I understand the tears at a session with the psychologist. I have been working through the loss of our babies and that has been tough. Tears are healing, I feel they are very cleansing.

I also totally get the feeling of peace that can fill you at the beach. I'm at my calmest at the beach I think. Even when there is a storm, I love it at the beach. Maybe not when it is as wild as Sydney though! The East coast is having a rough time right now!

Geraniums are very hardy aren't they! I was so surprised to find that the frost here nearly killed our geraniums and a lot of the succulents as well. It has been interesting discovering plants that can live through the winter frosts and the 40 degree dry summers!

My husband and I aren't really what you would call a loving couple. We love each other in our own funny ways though so I suppose that is all that matters. My husband calls me his "friend" and doesn't like me to touch him at all or sit next to him on the couch.

Sometimes I feel like our marriage is one of convenience for us both. We have separate bedrooms, not a thing I would have ever envisaged at my age in life.

I'm grateful that we don't fight, there is no violence and I have plenty to be thankful for.

It is wonderful that our friend's daughter wants to come and stay sometime as do my nieces. So yes, we do love and care for others and make them feel welcome here.

I'm meeting a couple of new clients these next two weeks so will see how that goes!

Cheers for now, from Mrs. Dools

[Hopefullseeking]

Hello Mrs Dools

Depression does rob us of our self worth, very true.

Yes I was shocked when the manager offered me some paid hours, very much appreciated. I am on the DSP but fortunately I also live in a Dept. of Housing flat so the rent is affordable.  I manage my money very well but do miss out on some luxuries, that's fine though I manage.

It must be really tough for you working through the issues surrounding the loss you must be feeling, I can't imagine the loss of a child let alone two.

No, not Sydney beaches thank you, my brother at Gosford has had damage not much thank goodness.

We don't get frosts here so my garden keeps growing through winter, not as much as summer of course. I can get lost in my garden, it isn't big but I do get a lot out of it.

Sorry to hear your marriage isn't all you want it to be, a bit sad but in some relationships people get on better living separate lives under the same roof. Glad to hear you don't fight, my marriage was abusive and it is extremely difficult to come back from that.

Good luck with you new clients, lets hope they are more receptive to your work than those two gentlemen.

Not much more to say today.

Hugs

Anne

[Doolhof]

Hi Anne and anyone else who is reading this,

( Hope you all feel welcome to add to our "chat" here if you want to. It is nice just to keep in touch)

My morning client cancelled this morning as I was to wash her curtains and it was raining, so we have postponed it for another day. It is the wrong time of year to be washing curtains really!

I popped in to meet my new clients who actually live just around the block from us. They both seem very nice. The lady has a twin tub washing machine! Apart from my Mum, who still has twin tubs! One of my jobs is to do their washing!

Her husband was a dear and said he hopes I will be happy in their home working for them. I am not being rude or anything, but he is the oldest looking person I have ever seen, and I used to work in a home for the elderly. I'm not sure how old they are.

I've invited my husband out for lunch on Sunday. We are going to a hotel he likes in Port Adelaide and will then have a walk on the beach if it is not raining.

Anzac Day I am going to be involved in a march. In one of the towns close to us the CFS Country Fire Service Volunteers are invited to march, so I will be doing that.

I will be thinking of my Great Uncle who fought in WW11in Papua New Guinea, of an old boyfriend, his wife and family who lost a son recently in a Middle Eastern country and also a couple of friends who are in the Navy.

It is supposedly going to be raining along with strong winds. We will have our CFS gear on, boots and helmets, so we should be okay during the march. I'm not sure what we will be doing after as the RSL in that town is rather small.

One year I was invited by a friend who had a sister working at an airbase to attend an Anzac Day service at the base. That was a very moving ceremony.

So I am looking forward to the very different events of this weekend.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools