Newbie - Coping with chronic pain ,depression and grief

[Lumlo]

Hi I am new to the forum. I suffer with chronic pain ,depression and grief and currently have worring problems with my adult children.

One has had major surgery and the other has been on drugs and has ongoing legal issues and mental health problems.

With xmas close I am not coping well and need some support. I am hoping talking on the forum will help me.

[Lumlo]

I do hope things get easier soon as my health is deteriorating physically as well as emotionally.

It has been challenging to deal with chronic pain and learning to live with a disability but this ongoing stress has gone past my limit to cope now.

I know all I can do is battle on and try to take care of myself too. Just hope for better days soon. Feeling very low and alone.

[Lumlo]

Not sure how to survive this life anymore. My sons going to move in as hes got no where to stay. We have always both said hes got a place here.

So now my partner of 36 years is leaving me. No arguments just says does no longer loves me and will move out. Cant take all the stress. My anxiety is out of control and somehow have to drive several hours to get son alone and not sure whats going on there. Then more long driving trips the next day to sort out his appointments. Just feeling so lost and alone and panicky. My lifes just spiralling out of control. Just dont know how to cope with all this.

I think I will break down its just the last straw. No idea what to do .

Scared and alone.

[Rabbit33]

Hi Lumlo

That seems very concerning that your partner would leave. is this based on you having your son move back in, or is this based on other circumstances? have you been able to speak with your psychologist yet or book an appointment. I strongly recommend that you seek some therapy and some more immediate support, someone that can be there on a more regular basis as i'm very concerned for your mental state.

Can you try suggesting a group therapy session where you, your partner, your son and maybe even his gf sit down and chat with someone mediating. This seems all to much for someone to be taking on all on their own.

I hope i'm not being too forward here but i think it may be a good idea to try contacting one of the below places below and having a chat.

www.yourhealthinmind.org/find-a-psychiatrist

www.psychology.org.au/Find-a-Psychologist

www.panda.org.au/

I truly hope you're okay. Please hang in there.
Please reach out if you'd like to chat. Myself and the other champions are here to support.
(Apologies for the delay in my response .- I had been absent and unable to get online)

[Rabbit33]

I just spoke with my Mum to see if there were any books she may suggest. She's been through a bit so i always look to her for guidance, especially when it comes to book and she is a lover of reading.

She suggested a series from 'Harper Element' Individual books on true stories all written by different people.

- Maria Housden - Hannah's Gift
- Mari Housden - Unravelled
- Toni Maguire - When Daddy Comes Home
- Judy Westwater - Nowhere to run
- Cathy Glass - Damaged
- Cathy Glass - Damaged
- David Thomas - Tell me why, Mummy
- Anya Peter - Abandoned

Not sure if they're what you're looking for, but it may provide some comfort and peace knowing that others have dealt through their own pain and overcome it or provide a sense of hope.
If you'd like me to see if their are any other suggestions, i'm always happy to ask my Mum and see what she thinks. And likewise, if you have any favourites, i'll pass them onto her and see if she's interested in giving them a read. maybe something like this will help distract and provide some hope and comfort for you. 🙂

[Lumlo]

Hi Rabbit33

I am not well. Its very hard to function at the moment. I would like some therapy and tryed to get an earlier appointment with my Gps letter but no result. He gave me the name of another psychologist so will see if they have any earlier apps today and also there are two others in town I got from the website you suggested to try.

Life is just too much to cope with and my physical health is suffering. The worst thing is there seems no end to the problems they just keep getting worse. I tryed the ER but got no help there.

Today I will try to talk on the phone to a helpline even if I cant get an appointment. Thanks for the reading ideas.

Lumlo

[Purple_People_Eater]

Hey Lumlo, sometimes it feels like we have given away too much identifying information and this stops us achieving more help.

I doubt anyone could recognise your family from what you have given away. We don't even know what state you are writing from, let alone what town.

What you have described sounds like a variation on dozens of other stories I have heard over the years (as a mental health carer support group member).

I'm glad you kept posting!

❤

[Rabbit33]

Hi Lumlo,

You're doing the right thing by reaching out. Helpline and alike organisations have many helpful resources and may be able to refer you to something that has a more immediate reaction to assist and support you through all of this.
I think you're becoming quite overwhelmed and focusing too much on the negative. I know it's hard! Try writing each problem down, then breaking them down into smaller problems so that you can try and work a plan of attack to conquer each one. Bring this with you to therapy so they can see whats on your mind and help speed up the detail process. I really hope you are okay! Hang in there, you will get through it and things WILL get BETTER.

[Lumlo]

Hi Purple People Eater

Thats good to hear . I guess the internet seems quite public and I am a very private person. I have found this forum supportive, with helpful ideas and its good not to feel so alone.

I will keep posting.

Lumlo

[Lumlo]

Hi Rabbit33

I had a bit better day today. My Gp has found me a psychologist with an appointment tomorow. So thats better than waiting another month even if its someone new. I need the support at the moment.

I went to see a good friend who gave me a hug, cuppa and chat which was nice.

My son called me, was pleasant and may have found a place to live. So there is hope. He seems more accepting of some therapy, has been once and agreed to go back again next week. I am trying to focus on the positive but currently feel so tired and run down.

Battling on another day. Just hope things improve soon.

Lumlo

[Rabbit33]

Hi Lumlo,

I am so happy to hear these positives for you. It's about time some good news came your way. That's great news about the psychologist also. They may be new but i'm sure they will be extremely helpful. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that the good news continues to flow your way.
Sometimes a good hug really helps, i'm glad you have someone that gives you that energy! Keep them close.

Please let me know how you go.