Needing help with my anger and sadness

[Charligal]

Anyone know of any coping strategies that can help calm anger ?
So many bad things have happened i get so angry and it then leads to depression ... i feel alone and have no clue how to cope ... my world is always so sad now and no matter who i talk to its not going away 😩

[Guest_4643]

Hi there Charligal.

Firstly, good on you for joining the BB Forums and posting, I'm a new member too and still finding my way around, so welcome.

I know how you feel with anger, I'm the same. I get my bouts if you will, and I can't control it and even the slightest things irritate me, for example certain noises like sensory overload, but that can be anxiety also. I also relate to how you feel about your world being so sad, I'm sorry that you feel this way. You're not alone, sometimes it can help just hearing that, as heartbreaking as it is that you and so many others deal with it. But trust me I know that you do feel alone although others struggle with similar things too, because I do.

Well everyone's different. For me, I like to colour in when I feel like it. I also have a Jigsaw Puzzle that I haven't completed yet but I'd like to at some stage. Reading and/or watching TV and movies can help, especially comedies, a good way to let your laughs out I think. Or even funny Youtube things. Or there's a free colour by numbers app that I often play on my iPad called Happy Colour. You can also get rewards on there, for example completing 5 pictures, it's fun, relaxing and addictive. I also like to take long walks and look at the scenery and bird life, it's nice for me, depending on the weather too of course.

You could also try talking to websites like Lifeline and of course Beyond Blue, and these forums. Are you seeing a mental health professional at all if you don't mind me asking? I know how hard it is to reach out, let alone find good therapists and trust them, believe me. I've had so many bad ones.

If you'd like some colouring books, you can print out stuff on Google, whatever you like, or Johanna Basford has some lovely colouring books, she has a few, even Calendars you can colour. They're cheap too, and detailed but not overly detailed, and you can do what I do, colour them in over a period of time so a few hours, a few days, entirely up to you. You can find them on websites like Booktopia, Bookdepository, etc. And many more colouring stuff.

Or, you could try maybe getting a punching bag if that's your thing? Or punching a pillow, that way you're not damaging anything and won't hurt yourself? Or you could even try doing some art - writing, tracing stuff, drawing/sketching, painting (throwing paint at a canvas can also be some form of art, like abstract I suppose).

Everyone's different. I really hope you get better soon.

Please take care,

Tayla xx (20yo)

[quirkywords]

Charligal,

Welcome to the forum that is full of supportive and helpful people.

When one is depressed on can feel angry and when one is angry one can feel depressed.

I found writing down what makes me feel angry and look honestly at what I am angry at or with, helps me look at it rationally.

Sometimes I take out my anger on people who don't deserve it and that makes me feel worse.

You are not alone.

Quirky

[Charligal]

Hi There thank u so much for ur awesome reply 😃 I have a boxing bag sitting in ny garage which i totally forgot about and I will definitely be putting up and having a crack at it ..., My anger is towards a person .. I would never act out my anger im not that type of person but i do think about how they are hurting me and getting away with it over and over and over i cant switch off the thinking and then the anger takes over .. sometimes its a sad anger where i cry my eyes out and scream all the bad things she is doing and sometimes i get so mad i dont leave my bed i cant do anything its like im paralysed it consumes me ... Im not a violent person by any means i hate confrontation and would prefer to just walk away but then this happens and my life has literally been on hold for 4 weeks whilst this has consumed me .... i want to stop thinking about it ... i cant stop this person i cant stop whats shes doing so Im choosing to stop me feeling like this instead but i dont know how to change my thinking ... Im not seeing a counsellor as im scared ill let all my anger out and yell and scream in a session and that wont look good .... I try playing with my kids and taking them out but the thoughts follow me and i end up wasting the day away like a zombie .... How do u let go of so much anger towards a bad person who is getting away with bad things its so unfair and we are left hurt and angry ... i want to be able to let it go and not let her win by letting her consume me 😢

[Guest_4643]

Hi again Charligal.

you're welcome for my reply, I hope that it helped you. Sorry that it was lengthy. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all of that, that sounds horrible, I can't imagine how bad you'd be feeling. I genuinely hope things improve and you can get support here and from others like professionals.

I get angry too, and can't control it, and take it out on people around me too because that's just natural, or so I've been told so you're not alone there. Anger is common which I've also been told. That's good that you're not violent to anyone though so good on you for that aswell as posting here.

I know how daunting therapy can be, but maybe you could try and see your GP and try to see a therapist like a Psychologist or something? It's entirely your decision and I know that there's good and bad professionals, but it could be beneficial to you, otherwise if you're not comfortable with that perhaps search on websites like this, Lifeline, SANE, Black Dog Institute etc for advice, they have web chats too, not sure if Black Dog Institute does a live web chat though but the others do, and phone options.

Everyones different. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. I truly hope that you feel better soon and you get support. Please know you're my not alone, sometimes that can be reassuring to some people to hear that, although I know that people do feel alone, like myself.

Music can help too, depending on what you like, something mellow perhaps, whatever you like listening to. Your choice.

please take care and be safe, I'm thinking of you. Good on you for posting here. Please be OK xx

much love and hugs,

Tayla xo