Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey CMF

You make a good point. Humans will be growing a bent neck after looking down at their phones so much.

Quirky did make a great point about 'Mindfulness being nothing new' I have never heard the term before and I joined here in January 2016.

I knew about 'grounding and genuine & calm acceptance' for years as therapy from some brilliant counselors but they never mentioned Mindfulness.

I guess I am still learning....and happy to

CMF mentioned "We are too busy rushing around, checking social media for updates and being upset or offended by others' posts" Absolutely spot on Country Music Festival...Talk about a anxiety inducing age!

My Kindest

Paul

[Guest_1055]

Hi CMF and everyone else,

I agree with you there, people are missing out on so much sometimes.There is such beauty all around. It is incredible. But I still think some people are more naturally observant then others. I have noticed this within my own family and extended family.

Shell x

[blondguy]

Thanks Shell

I am a bit like you where mindfulness is concerned. It can be a difficult concept to grasp.

I am trying. Its not as unnecessarily complicated as you mentioned though...Its similar to the apple you mentioned

Thankyou for sharing your personal situation with us Shell

My Best

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

I think that most things which are helpful to us were done naturally for centuries. Today we have an increased awareness of mental health & hence more people diagnosed with mental health issues. This has led to more research into treatments to see what works & what doesn't. Mindfulness has been practised naturally by people for millennia but it is only now western medicine has done research to find out that it is beneficial.

We are all different. Some like Shell are naturally observant & live in the moment so they don't need to learn mindfulness as they are already doing it. Others are like me and live in their mind so busy thinking about what needs doing, planning ahead & thinking about the consequences that I don't get to enjoy the present. Others dit somewhere in between. IO guess because of our differences we all respond differently to things so one way of learning mindfulness works for one person but another would benefit from a different way of practising it. This would explain the wide variety of literature on the topic. Each of us need to do what works for us & avoid techniques or things that trigger more worry. If something is helpful keep doing it. if something doesn't help that just means it is not for you at this time.

[highlysensitivepersonhsp]

I have just been listening to a podcast by Jon Kabat Zin who popularised mindfulness as a western adaptation of eastern meditation. He was talking about how being present can help us cope with stress. The essential difference is that mindlessness is reactive. Mindfulness is slower and lets you draw on your own wisdom on how to respond rather than react. For example, when you are in reflective slow thinking you might feel stress or pressure to solve a problem, but you can draw on wisdom such as the serenity prayer and ask yourself what can I change? The answer might require you to accept the situation and develop healthy adaptive coping strategies like not overthinking something. Mindfulness allows us to open up to the stress and invite it in and dance with it according to jkz. Your life lessons will instruct you on what to try to see what works. Drugs, alcohol, sex, food, smoking, etc don't work. Call on wisdom to see what does work to save yourself from hell, mental hell. Sandra.

[quirkywords]

It is interesting how everyone seems to have a different interpretation of mindfulness. They are all valid and represent how each individual responds to mindfulness and makes sense of it in a way that most benefits them.

I agree Elizabeth that we need to avoid the triggers and do what works for us. In other words accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.. Thanks for your viewpoint.

Thanks for your description Hsp.

Quirky

[highlysensitivepersonhsp]

The thing about triggers is that they are based on cause and effect. The theory is if abc happens then I react according to xyz. For example, every time my partner calls me names I spiral downward into a depression. Triggers is another word for pushing our buttons.

But it is only in the physical world that we can reliably predict cause and effect. Every time I switch on the kettle, the water boils. It is predictable. But in the mental world we can intervene and change a long established pattern of reactivity. That's where mindfulness comes in.

Raising your awareness, examining triggers, becoming aware of reactions, recognising what is happening and using alternative strategies to deal with the trigger or stimulus. Changing mind changes behaviour. You can overcome triggers in a way that the water cannot overcome being boiled by the kettle.

The mind is plastic. It is not concrete or stone. It can and does change. With mental effort of slow thinking, analytical thinking helps. Patterns from the past can be overcome and changed to create a new way of being.

God gave us a brain that can evolve. We can use our thinking and wisdom to even anticipate a trigger and come up with a strategy to deal with it differently, more effectively, more healthily. Sandra.

[quirkywords]

Sandra

Thanks for your helpful advice .

Alas I don't have much wisdom or thinking to anticipate a trigger let alone to deal with it differently,more effectively, more healthily.

Hard plastic is like stone, pretty hard to change unless you break it or melt it.

For me a trigger by its nature is unpredictable, if I could predict it, it would not be a trigger for me. I know people criticising me, being too tired, trying to do too much, are all things I can predict so I can plan a response.

A trigger is something that ambushes me, surprises me,

Thanks a lot for your suggestions.

Quirky

[highlysensitivepersonhsp]

Hi Quirky.

After reading your post, I gave it some slow analytical thought. BTW a good therapist should be able to do this for you or teach you how.

I begin by asking questions. Why is the trigger an ambush or surprise?

Answer: it is outside your awareness. You haven't recognised it and dealt with it effectively.

If you process criticism mentally, for example, you may come up with a strategy to deal with it next time you recognise it in others.

There will always be novel stimuli. That's the nature of our world. But a trigger is something that keeps happening over and over again. It's not new. For example, someone criticises you and you always get angry and retaliate.

You might want to change that response because of the consequences your anger has led to in the past. Or it might be that you have a philosophical, moral or ethical objection to how you handle yourself.

Change starts with awareness. You might recall examples of criticism where you reacted with anger and retaliation. You might start to think about it. Is the criticism true or false? What is the evidence? Do I react or do I say something like, I'll have to think about that and see if I agree with you. There are many strategies. Your goal might be to eliminate anger as a reaction and buy time to think with a cool, calm head.

Change is hard at first, but after you've been through it several times it gets easier. You overcome your triggers and your habitual way of reacting. You gain self control. You gain self mastery. Sandra.

[Cornstarch]

I think mindfulness undertaken, introduced or practiced at an inappropriate time can be detrimental to a persons mental health and that it should not taken up when someone is unwell. It will only make them feel worse about themselves or more uncomfortable with their inner states.

Mental health conditions have a felt sense. Who in their right mind wants to sit with that felt sense when it feels like hell. It's not advisable.

For me mindfulness has nothing to do with relaxation, and everything to do with relationship. Especially my relationship to my self, my history and my inner world.

When you are raised surrounded by, sick and inattuned or disinterested, self absorbed, abusive, incompetent adults, to have the tool of mindfulness to relate to that damage they inflicted upon you, in the complete opposite way; is pretty incredible.

Jack Kornfield was the first person to crack my dissociation, for that alone I am forever indebted. Without my mindfulness training I don't think I would have survived last year when my dissociation went into overdrive and the altered state of consciousness became even more altered.

I could never have ridden that out if I didn't have my training, and it has imbued in me the confidence to know that I can ride it out again if life takes me back to hell.

Its powerful if practiced softly but regularly.

Corny