Paul, cracking idea for a thread this. So i will give you two stories on how mindfulness has helped me out in a massive way.
The first was when i was in hospital and at the lowest. I was introduced to a whole new world of mental pain that i thought was not possible. Whilst in there we had three one hours lessons during the day on all things recovery and treatment. This is where i first heard about mindfulness. So after that session i went back to my room and was dismayed that it was a brilliant day, blue sky and perfect for a run but i couldn't go.
I sat in front of the window and looked at the garden below and saw a butterfly fighting against the very gentle breeze for us but a near hurricane for them. I watched as this butterly fluttered around and was then joined by a second butterfly. I sat there and watched these two for what i thought was about five minutes.
I then heard a knock on the door and it was lunchtime. It then dawned on me that i had been watching the buttreflies for an hour and for the first time since being in hospital, i felt totally at ease with myself and calm. It was like there was a ceasefire in the war.
It then dawned upon me that this was because i had become totally lost watching the butterflies and did not think about anything else but them. I was living purely in the moment.
The second was just after i got out of hospital and I went for brekky with my wife. I was on edge massively. Anxiety was high, depression was high (as in felt low), the PTSD symptoms where off the charts but i knew i had to get out.
My wife chose a quiet place where i ordered my standard bacon and eggs on sour dough. As I was cutting through the sour dough, the knife was not sharp enough to get through it easily and i felt a massive anxiety attack coming on. I vividly remember looking for something to ground myself and noticed a deep gold coloured water dispenser and it was like i was put into a trance but the sheer deepness of the colour. The anxiety lowered and allowed me to get on with brekky.
I noticed that even after the anxiety lowered, i remained transfixed on the gold. I stared at it for ages and felt relatively good after it.
To me mindfulness is that place where time stands still, where you are at peace with yourself, where nothing else matters. It just gives you that little break we all need from time to time to remember who we are and what we are capable of....and that is recovery.
Mark.
