Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey Sara and Quirky

This page is has turned out to be an absolute classic with so much help and kindness posted by everyone

Thankyou. Paul 🙂

[velvetfaerie]

OHHhhh I need to learn this. I suck at it.

Can I be mindful and focused on my new air fryer? It is rather awesome....

I will endeavour to learn more mindfulness

[velvetfaerie]

I just read these words from Abyss

"He would like me to just stop. Stop thinking ahead. Stop analysing. Get off from the merry-go-round. Just enjoy the moment."

OMG that's me. I want my brain to SHOOSH !

[blondguy]

Hey velvetfaerie

You fit right in here and thanks for your post too!

I also suck at this too...seriously

I wrote this thread topic as I dont really know what mindfulness is

Paul....(great quote from TA too...)

[Starwolf]

I guess what causes dissociation varies according to individual traumas and issues. As Sara so rightly pointed out, the common denominator is that it is a mind's self-protective strategy. In my case, my main alter ego was a justified (but unacceptable to me) part of my psyche, full of blind rage at being rejected, physically and emotionally abused throughout childhood. So the mind separated it. Because it needed expression (not allowed), it just took over. Not a pretty sight...a cut snake approach to life and everyone in it. Different name, mannerism, voice etc...

Only when I learned to accept/understand the anger and use it in positive ways could it become an acceptable part of my self and be reintegrated. I needed to befriend and control it instead of being controlled by it.

I also did another type of dissociation where I would perform even delicate tasks in automatic pilot. No awareness it was happening but I always came out of those blank spaces having done the right thing and without a hair out of place. But unhappy that the mind had acted "behind my back".

Those experiences helped realize how powerful the mind is and how so little of it is known. It fascinated me so I left much of what I thought I knew behind (not difficult in my case as I had no attachments) and set off on a learning curve. Having nothing to lose kept fear of the unknown at bay. I felt free to explore and take risks. Life seemed to respond. I bumped into the right mentors for me and at the right time. A lifelong journey of self discovery...knowing I haven't arrived anywhere. Not even sure there's somewhere to arrive at 🙂

But feeling free from traumas that could easily have destroyed me. Living a mindful life through good and bad times is why/how my wrecked self could be salvaged.

[quirkywords]

Starwolf

I feel very humble reading your post .

I feel if you and Sara can use mindfulness and make it work for you both even with your traumatic backgrounds, I feel maybe I should make more of an effort and stop grumbling.!

Just a thought. I think I often self sabotage. I don't I have ever dissociated but I have disengaged. I know they are different and I never realised I had dome that oin the past till I read about dissociation.

I maybe right off track, but I am trying. Velvet I keep trying, keep reading, keep grumbling and keep thinking , mostly making little progress.

Quirky

Quirky

[Starwolf]

You are right, Quirky. An other type of dissociation (more a disengagement) I was "good" at was cutting off from feelings and emotions. This one scared the hell out of me when I realized that the death of the only person I looked up to and whose rare company I enjoyed left me totally cold.

There again, a self protective measure as my feelings and emotions were too overwhelming and beyond comprehension, particularly at a tender age. So they were numbed out of the way. I had to learn/allow myself to feel again before I could turn the tables on that one and learn to control this ability of the mind to disconnect. It later became a terrific asset towards practicing mindfulness. It's all about finding/nurturing the positive seed that exists in all negative situations and making the most of it.

I was lucky that I could always escape in surrounding wilderness whenever I didn't have to be on display in my parents' world. Nature is incredibly opportunistic and a terrific role model for making good use of whatever happens to be available. What better place to learn survival skills...straight from the wolf's mouth so to speak ? Sure, the home front situation was a disaster but outer circumstances played in my favour and pointed me in the right direction. I wouldn't be here now without the feral education I received on the wild side. Or without the few exceptionally insightful humans who have crossed my path.

[Starwolf]

And hey, Quirky...please be kind to yourself. We're all familiar with self-sabotage but it is often the reactive mind at work in spite of our best intentions.

You are here, gathering info and figuring how it fits in with your particular situation (or doesn't). It can be a slow maturing process. Light bulb moments are often delayed reactions. For all of us. It sometimes took years for someone's long forgotten words to hit me like a ton of bricks. And suddenly make sense.

So how can you be on the wrong track ?

[Quercus]

Hi all,

Had to skip some of the posts (not in a place to read them) but this has been interesting anyway. I'm thankful for you Quirky asking questions that others (ie me) are thinking but can't be bothered to put into words. Sometimes if I start I won't stop.

But this is a question I was wondering if anyone can help with (whether it is mindfullness or just me being me).

Do you ever find yourself taking on emotions that aren't yours? Like today I had a bit of a crap day but pieces of good in there too. Overall not too bad. Then I read something and lost the plot.

Became distressed. Almost inappropriately upset and angry. I had to sit down and say to myself aloud these are not my feelings. I don't want to think of this. I want these thoughts to go away.

I felt ok after that but spent hours on the running machine just to keep myself tired so the thoughts stay away. Has anyone experienced this? I'm confused.

[gld]

Hi Quercus,

I feel it is, although i feel is could do with a little tweaking.

Our minds are a funny place to be stuck in because they are constantly working spitting out thoughts to keep things moving forward. As you have put in your post Quercus you have to question what you are thinking as your feelings are playing a big part on your emotions [actions].

Lately i have been challenging it in a slightly different way and i feel it is not as hard on myself. As my thoughts come up 24/7 and a lot of them are not 100% correct as the thoughts are only doing their best to protect me from harm not knowing the effect.

This is how i am approaching my thought, "She looked at me with that angry face i must be pissing her off by not doing my job well", question the thought, by someone having a cranky face does not mean it is directed at me as they could be having a difficult day and i have been doing my job to the best of ability. This stops a thought that is not exactly true which then in turn stops an unwanted feeling also keeping an unpleasant reaction at bay. After this is done i move forward without going back to revisit it.

I feel by this i am starting to create a healthier way to form better techniques to manage my thoughts and begin to learn one aspect of Mindfulness.

Don't be so hard on yourself as this sort of thing is something that needs to become habit without thinking about it. I think this is why very young children are good a mindfulness as they do not overthink stuff, it happened oh well what do i do next play in the sand pit or get into mums makeup.

Gen