Making friends when vulnerable

[Guest_1643]

Hi all, I'm building myself up after I was unwell recently and was linked in t the Triage, who helped me manage some severe depression/anxiety/suicdal ideation. I'm lucky it's gone well for me, but am now looking to connect more to new people and organisations. I am starting to meet people, but they are now in recovery groups etc and have their own mental health problems - i'm wary although also curious, if maybe they could be real friends for me. I'm also just enjoying being out and about with people. My feeling was alwys that i'd rather be alone than be with toxic friends who don't support my mental health, and when i was very low i feel like my friends gave awful advice, and even discouraged me from taking the time off to get better and get well. So, screw that. But finding friends who can be there for me seems really challenging. How do you connect to people when you feel really vulnerable?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Sleepy (& a wave to all),

What you’re going through does sound very frustrating, draining, & exhausting. But I’m glad you’re clearly ready to look for healthier connections with people 🙂

That man does sound as though he treats you as a bit of an emotional dumping ground (so to speak), which must take so much out of you...

Unchecked anger can be very frightening & distressing...while it’s understandable for a person to feel the emotion of anger, what is not okay is then lashing out in anger or using anger as an excuse for intimidating, harmful or aggressive behaviours towards others.

He clearly made you feel very unsafe, and I believe that his behaviour is not something that you have to put up with...

So well done on opening up to a professional about it, and respecting your own boundaries 🙂 I like your triage’s suggestion to try to make new friends in neutral territory. I think that’s a really good idea.

Kindness and care,

Pepper

[Guest_1643]

Hi Pepper and Tayla,

I'm feeling a bit better, thanks for checking in. The triage man also said that a lot of this is normal and valid. And once I walked away from that man I felt a lot clearer in my head. It is very draining sometimes when people push your boundaries and I felt so exhausted and confused a lot of the time. You don't always know exactly what is happening or how someone is manipulating you. I've gone to some nice communal spaces this week, and found a walking track near me which is absolutely stunning. Lots of people go for runs and bikerides about 6ish and i'll try and go there myself to be in a positive space. Yay for self care. Yay for the forums.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Sleepy, nice to hear from you, I've been thinking of you. Good to hear that you walked away from toxic people and behaviours in your life, I'm proud of you so well done.

Yes it is draining when people push your boundaries for no reason, I'm sorry you went through that. Good on you for feeling better and doing good things for yourself, including self care.

I'm glad you enjoy self care, the forums, walking and so forth, I do too. Well I haven't done much self care but i enjoy the forums and walking. I hope you're doing okay, I'm always here as you know.

Take care, thinking of you. Best wishes.

Tayla

[Guest_1643]

Hi Tayla, I'm so happy you have benefit from the forums, walking, art and puzzles. It's great to hear. I like walking too and also sometimes scenic views are nice....The triage man mentioned the NGV art gallery but I wander if I would like that... Do you go to galleries ever? And enjoy also looking at art?
I've just set up the internet in my apartment, because I feel that I really need it at this time. I hope that will help a little. Thank you for being there for me, you are very caring.

[Guest_4643]

Hey again Sleepy, thank you. I've never heard of the NGV art gallery I don't think, but I'll check it out. Yes I go to galleries sometimes, there's an art and craft show in my town every year for 3 days in March, I went to it this year but didn't buy anything, as nice as everything was. I was thinking of entering something myself but I have no talent. Maybe I could find a picture on Google and trace it and try to make some art work or some abstract stuff, craft even. Everything seems to sell really. Do you like that stuff?

Thank you for the kind words, it truly means a lot and I'm glad you feel that way about me, I feel the same abou you. I try to be caring, you are too, so thanks again. Take care.

Tayla x

[Guest_1643]

Hey Tayla, thanks for replying. Loved the image of the craft show. I think it's great to just walk through things like that without buying anything. It's a real experience, and I hope you can make stuff, too!

I seem to be just watching movies and tv so much these days, maybe I should get out and see some art. The NGV is in Melbourne they sometimes have cool shows I here, like modern art. Lol that is if it isn't closed now because of all this madness. I hope you sleep well and get to enjoy some walks with your pup and some mindfulness this weekend. Lovely to chat here. x

[Guest_4643]

Thanks Sleepy and oh okay, Melbourne is far away from me now so I only go there to go to concerts really. Last time I went was in November.

Take care.

Tayla

[Guest_1643]

Hi all, today I went to my recovery group and it was good to get support. I got something out of it, which was chatting to other young women in a safe environment. I find it helpful to talk to other people in the same boat. I go between feeling very very alone and needy to feeling hopeful. Some friends have been sending me some information online and funny websites, which helps, but they aren't always that available to chat. I am trying to find some more fun things to do solo without relying on others...

[Guest_1643]

Tayla that's fun to travel to Melbourne for concerts 🙂
I went to Sydney last year for a concert, and the travel was half the fun. What concerts have you seen here? Is it a far trip?

[Guest_4643]

Yes it's far for me, I've seen 2 concerts so far. I'm hoping the one in June won't be cancelled, sigh.

Tayla