I have been having trouble being motivated and getting out of bed in the morning

[Guest7890]

For a while now I have been on holidays from my university course and have been working full time hours for the last 4 weeks. I’m going through a stage where I won’t get out of bed till 11am or 12pm and then won’t do much all day till work around 4pm. Because of my job I often finish at 12:30am in the morning which makes waking up early challenging for me. Apart from being tired however, when I do happen to wake up at a reasonable time, (8am or 9am) I end up falling back asleep as I have no motivation to get up and do anything. Even though I am no longer tired I feel like there is nothing that makes me want to get out of bed, its not a concious decision rather something I just do without thinking. Its very hard to convince my mind that I should get up unless I have something I have to do at a specific time that early. In the afternoon before work I don’t have any desire to do anything and sometimes even find myself content staring out into space than actually doing anything. I just generally feel lazy, unmotivated and distent/down. I feel bad being like this with my boyfriend because I know he cares for me and I don’t want to appear lazy or unreliable to him. I really hate myself that I have been unable to complete tasks I said I would do, and I don’t know how to get through this to feel better and want to do things. I worry about my future and my course as corona virus has impacted my course greatly turning it online which it seems it will stay for the rest of the year. How can I change my mindset around and wake up with motivation again?

[P0L0]

Hi Maydays,

I just wanted to say good job on coming to this forum for consolation. That is a big step and you should feel proud of yourself for that.

Sometimes our lives appear to not have much structure after an even and we start drifting out of our good habits. I know this has happened to me with COVID-19. My online courses for university has meant that I don't have to wake up early anymore and I stay in bed for longer and my routine has suffered greatly from that. However, it is important to try everyday to just a bit better than the day before. Try to set goals for yourself. Start small and slowly build up. For example, when you get up, make your bed, then make yourself breakfast, and so on and so on.

I know this has helped me gain some motivation back, especially during my exam period when my motivation to study was very low. Sometimes, it's also important to take breaks. Perhaps try not to see your lack of motivation as unproductive, rather, as just some "me-time" to relax.

Hope this helps!

[Blake_S]

Hey Maydays,

Thank you for posting and welcome to the Beyond Blue forums! Reaching out for help, and having the courage to tell us about your difficulties is not always an easy step, and well all commend you for taking that step!

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time in your life, and I'm sorry that you've been experiencing these difficulties, but you're alone. We are here to help and support you. I'd like to say well done for consistently going to work full-time, that in itself is an achievement (let alone studying too). But I can see how your work hours can leave you with a schedule that is a bit unbalanced without having other things to do.

Like P0l0 and yourself, my university classes have moved online too due to COVID, and wow, I did not realise the impact it would have on my daily routine. I too was staying in bed longer, not getting up early, and when I had free time I was less inclined to get up and do anything because of COVID. Which made me feel similar to you, such as feeling lazy and unmotivated - it's not a nice feeling at all. But, it is a lot about your mindset, as you have identified (this is great - you have insight into where your difficulties stem from), and there are little things we can do, in an effort to shift that mindset.

So before I jump in and offer suggestions, I was wondering if you could tell me some things (such as activities, self-care) that you used to engage in that made you feel good? Often we find that when start to do things we enjoy, we start to feel better, which in turn can fuel our motivation. This is exactly what I did to recharge my motivation and feel productive with my free time.

How you are feeling is very understandable and valid, COVID times have disrupted as all, but we are in this together! I hope you'll write back, so we can support you and help you move forward.

All the best,
Blake_S :)

[Aphador]

Hi Maydays! 🙂

Welcome to the forum, I am proud of you for having the courage to communicate your problems.

I went through a similar period of my life, where for some reason, I was just unable to move out of bed, instead preferring to watch videos all day. I always felt tired and hated myself for it.

I want to echo what P0L0 stated- a good starting point is to try to make each day a little bit better than the last- make your bed, clean your room, make breakfast etc. Attempt to complete one more task each day! Make a list of all the things you need to do if you need to.

Universities often offer free counselling services (usually 6-10 sessions per year). I highly recommend that you make use of these! I even recommend these sessions to my friends who are not experiencing any significant issues in their lives. Hopefully, through talking with a counsellor, you may find tactics to find your motivation.

Perhaps, if you enjoy reading, you may also find some self-help books useful. I usually recommend starting with 'Awaken the Giant Within' by Tony Robbins. In this book, he talks about a multitude of things, including how to deal with episodes of 'laziness.' He has some speeches on youtube that you can watch as well. Might seem a bit corny at first- but it may help! Although counselling helped me immensely, I believe it was reading self-help books like this that ultimately moved me enough to 'get out of bed.'

I hope this has helped somewhat and would love for you to continue to share your thoughts.
Aphador 🙂

[GavH]

Hi Maydays,

Great to see that you are asking for help. I would agree with all the things that others have said before me and I have certainly struggled with similar circumstances to you in terms of lack of motivation.

One of my solutions was to try and find something that I enjoyed doing and to make sure that I did that everyday. For me, it was bike riding in the morning and then bike riding with a friend. Out riding the friend and I shared a lot of thoughts on stuff and it was useful sharing my thoughts with someone who cared. They eventually recommended that I go and see a counsellor which really helped, just talking with someone who was outside of my immediate environment and an 'expert'.

Another thing I did was to reflect on why I did not like doing things or that I did not get things done that I said I would do. Often it was because they were not fun but I could see that they were important so I would do the non-fun thing and then follow up with a fun thing.

Times of change and uncertainty are difficult so I would certainly reach out to the Universities counselling service as they will be closer to your situation and probably have other students in the same situation.

Hope this helps and I am sure that you will find plenty of help from others if you reach out.

Gav

[Guest7890]

Thank you all for replying, GavH, Aphador, Blake_S and P0L0. All your tips were very helpful 🙂 I am planning on waking up at 8 or 9 in the morning tomorrow and going for a run/walk. I think if I can atleast do that in the morning the exercise will make me feel much better as well as actually being up earlier and not oversleeping. Its just a matter of if I can do it, especially with how cold it has been. Wish me luck!

in response to GavH and Blake_S, I find myself somewhat of a creative person. I’ve always since I was younger enjoyed drawing. However as part of having no motivation, things that I would usually enjoy doing haven’t been as fun as they used to. I also have pressure of wanting to organise a folio of work for my university course as that was my goal for the holidays that are almost up, so I find many other activities a waste of time when I feel I should be working on that, but despite that, never seem to get any work done through procrastination.

[Aphador]

Hey Maydays!

That sounds amazing! It doesn't even have to be a run, just a walk is fine! Take it one step at a time!

How are you feeling today?

[Blake_S]

Hey Maydays,

Thank you so much for posting back. It's great to hear that you're planning to get up earlier and going for run/walk. I have a mentor in mental health who regularly says "exercise is nature's antidepressant" because exercise releases positive endorphins and makes us feel great! Let us know how it went getting up early? Sometimes I take a warm drink on a cold walk to help warm me up.

I can understand how finding the motivation to do something creative would be difficult during this time, but the fact that your creativity and university requirements are linked is beneficial (two for one kind of ordeal). I can imagine that a folio of work would be a big task, and often big tasks can be overwhelming. How would you feel about breaking that work up into 'bite-size' pieces? I would recommend setting a goal or task related to university that is achievable because once completed you will feel accomplished. Whereas, sometimes if we set a big task and then don’t complete it, we can feel like we failed and that can make it harder to dive in again. How would you go about breaking down the work a bit more? Would this be something useful? If so, I'm more than happy to support you through it!

Let me know what you think - we are all proud that you are being proactive in making a change to your circumstance! You can do this!

All the best,
Blake_S :)

[Guest7890]

Hey Aphador, I ended up being able to wake up at 8:30 and walk my dogs with my mum. I also worked on a digital drawing thats not yet done but I had a lot of fun with. 🙂 I generally feel a lot better than other days and I really think that walk and waking up earlier helped! The only thing that brought me down is that I found out my grandad has cancer and not very long to live. It was a bit of a shock getting results back via text from my mum while I was at work. But I’m feeling ok now. I don’t think it has fully sinked in yet. I’m am not super close to my grandad, but he is still family I would see every so often and at christmas, and its upsetting as well because my mum won’t have anymore parents when he leaves and it was her 50th birthday only a couple days ago. But anyway, I’ll be fine I’m sure.

for my reply to Blake_S, my folio is quite hard to know how to break up into little pieces. But I understand why you suggest this as it has worked well for me in the past. I just have to collect good work I have done first or make some new work so I will have what I need to put on it first. I guess the first thing would be to come up with a brief or idea of what to create. (To make this less confusing i’ll tell you that i’m studying advertising hahah.) but yeah, it is suprisingly hard for me to find any good advertising briefs online go make ads for fake or real clients with a request written in the brief as a practise. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m telling you all these little details. I might start that work next week. Thank you!

[Aphador]

Hey Maydays, that's awesome! 🙂 Super proud of you. I believe you can keep this momentum going! Make each day a little bit better 🙂 Keep me updated!

I am very sorry for you receiving that news, however 😞 I can understand it would be difficult to hear. It seems like you are in relatively good spirits. Remember that we are here for you if you need to express anything.

Aphador 🙂