I know its been a long time since i last posted. I was in a bad place. And i didn't know how to get out of it. So i did what i thought i would never do. I reached out to my GP. With his help i managed to see a phycologist and eventually a psychiatrist.
I started on some medication which has transformed my depression from a crippling disease of my mind to a small blip on my personal radar.
Dont get me wrong. Im not cured of this illness. But im so much better.
I followed peoples advice. Grace gave me inspiration to visit the NGV which i did. I took my camera back out and started taking photos again. I got away in my campervan to Lorne a couple of times and enjoyed being close to the beach and close to nature.
And i tried to rediscover myself. And for the most part i was fairly successful. So yeah i still have doubts. And i still fear that night that i dont get any sleep and then i slip back into that depression. But its been about 3 months or a bit more now and i havent reached that place again.
I will admit, i do think that day will come, im still scared of it. Im still not ready to reach out for help dealing with the abuse i suffered. Thats a pain that needs to wait a bit longer.
But i know now that things can get better. I have been able to reconnect with a couple of people in my life. And with my work. And most importantly, with myself.
So for anyone who is at rock bottom, or getting close to it, keep this in mind. Things can better. Things can change. And people can change.
If you dont know what else to do or where to turn, then find at least one person, GP, friend or family. Even this forum. And make that your starting place. If you dont reach out, you will never grasp that hand that is waiting to help you up. I know for many people it seems just out of reach. Always out of reach. But once you grasp it, it can pick you up.
Thanks to the forum and its supporters for your king words and support and suggestions. Although i didnt post i still followed along. Take care everyone.
