"How do I build a support network?"
I thought this once.
Sitting in my car trying to tell myself I was angry at the psychologist who had given me tough love...
"You don't have a life".
And knowing the truth was she was right.
My life had become nappy changes, feeds and never leaving the house. I didn't use forums or social media. My life was husband and two babies. Nothing else. No friends. No family. No colleagues or work. No hobbies. Nothing. These people had disappeared from my life the moment my children arrived. And I caused that. I stopped trying. Closed down. Shut everyone out.
I have changed this for myself. It is possible.
This thread is for ideas....
What did you do to build a support network?
My lessons...
- Accept it will take effort. You have to make an effort. Noone is going to do it for you. Friendships and relationships have to be give and take or people don't bother.
- Accept you will not be comfortable. You will have to push yourself. Make changes. It is easier to do nothing but more worthwhile to try.
- Accept it will take time. You're not going to become a social butterfly overnight. Small changes. Perseverance. Keep trying and then try some more. Good relationships take time.
- You need multiple relationships. It is not fair to ask one person to help all the time. Partners, friends, family, colleagues, medical professionals, support groups, social clubs/groups, study groups, sporting groups.... The list is huge. There are people out there you will relate well to. You've just got to put yourself out there to meet people.
- Pick up the phone and make plans to reconnect with people you know. Face to face. Meet for a cuppa. Have a chat. Make it a regular thing.
- Reduce the amount of time and effort you put into social media. What is the point of having 500 "friends" none of which you could call and ask for help? Put that time and effort into real relationships.
- Be honest. People respond well to honesty. When I was well enough to recognise how isolated I was it meant swallowing my pride and apologising. Im sorry I ignored you for years with no explanation. It was a horrible thing to do. I was very depressed and a complete mess and didn't leave the house. I was embarrassed and a mess. I missed you I was just too ashamed to ask for help.
These are my thoughts. What about you? What worked for you?
❤ Nat
