How do you do it?

[Not_Batman]

Hello BB.

i have been posting a little bit in the last week, and have read many helpful things.

a lot of what i read is helpful to my situation, but also helps me to understand another perspective.

anxiety and depression for me only comes from a few sources. Unfortunately they are essential, so learning to cope with the source was a must.
sometimes i have to remove myself, sometimes i have to write in my journal.

This got me thinking, What is a trigger for you, and how do you overcome it?

Not_Batman

[Not_Batman]

Hi all.

so i was in at mitre10 over the weekend just looking at paint, minding my own business, and all of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere came the feelings of anxiety, which felt like it was going to manifest into a full blown panic attack.
i knew what was About to happen because i haven't had that real strong Doom feeling for awhile since my last panic attack. Thankfully the feeling subsided afters few minutes, but i had to basically freeze and do a mental body scan. - i know where i am, im not hurt, im not in danger, im wearing clean underwear, so what is it?!?

i got thinking afterwards why it happened. And for the life of me cant work out why. Never a bad experience painting, never a bad experience in M10...

So what is my body trying to say?

anybody have a similar experience? What did it turn out to be?

Not_Batman

[Tay100]

Hi Not_Batman

To answer your question (in a very late fashion!)- yes, self care is slightly different from regular hobbies/fun activities. Self-care is generally self-focused and helps you recharge your batteries in some way- especially emotionally, mentally or spiritually. It can involve peacefulness/mindfulness but can be more upbeat too. Give it a Google if you like or we can discuss what self-care might look like for you.

Tay100

[ecomama]

Not_Batman said:

This got me thinking, What is a trigger for you, and how do you overcome it?

Hi Not_Batman,

Sorry I missed your thread... great replies.
I enjoy reading your posts... the funny ones too.

Yes by cMarch this year, it would've been easier to ask what DOESN'T trigger you?
EVERYTHING triggered me & so many into full blown PTSD tumbling. It was relentless.
Intrusive thoughts almost 24/7, vivid nightmares every night.

Then I saw a new psych. This time one specialising in trauma.

In answer to your question above... I'll put it in a different way than my psych did.
"Visuals" help me alot. I hope they help you too!

I DREW this for myself to start with...
A TREE with branches coming out from the ground.
I drew my tree laying down for reasons I can explain if needed...
Tree starts at the left hand side & goes into thinner & more & more branches to the right.

The place or person that triggered this event is on the top of the tree at the right hand side. (It's at the tip of one of the thin branches).

I will take a real (past) trigger of mine being Bunnings.
Trigger happened... so when I left, got home and calmed down I asked myself a series of questions... ending with last question WHO was it?

Whenever I followed my trigger all the way back to the root cause, in my case, there was ALWAYS only 2 people. It took time and only when I was at home.

I did this countless times, it was only ever those 2.
I'll call them Z and X.

Then after realising this I did my own exposure therapy (psych had taught me how).
She thought I could handle doing it on my own bec she measured my "come down" rate after being triggered and it was acceptable to her.

I hope that's clear - ish?

When I dug and dug and DUG Deep, there was only Z & X.

I knew Z & X were no longer in my life.

But during the trigger when my mind seemed totally out of my control, affirming to myself "I'm safe" on repeat was a fast come down.

I can get slightly "anxious" or even upset but zero "triggers" anywhere near the magnitude of the PTSD experiences I was having.... like 3% max now compared to them.

But I took leave, covered LOTS of ground, literally going places I thought would trigger me.
Once I got expert at "the tree" I just don't trigger. It just makes sense.

I might trigger in the future but I have my tree lol.

Dealing with intrusive thoughts was another part of the therapy.

EM xxxx

[Not_Batman]

Hi EM.

Thank you for the story. id like to know more about the tree.
why on its side? Like a fallen tree?

if i was to search the internet for literature, hat would i search for?

Not_Batman

[ecomama]

HI Not_Batman

I need to write it first, then you can search it lol.

It's "deep".

It's my analogy of how I can visualise connections quickly.
The faster I can identify the Source, the sooner I calm.

It's a compilation of psych's work with me tied in with 'how I already am' / what I already knew.

It's laying on it's side because, akin to what Tony WK said, I find a physical movement ie swinging my right arm from right to left (even imagining it) helps with connecting reaction to source.

I'm into movement.

But this movement helps me to detach from being "in it" and moreso being able to observe it all.
You know the thing about humans being the only animals able to have thoughts about their thoughts.

It aides clarity for me.

I also didn't want the tree standing up bec the ppl who did such harm do not deserve the "height".

With the "root cause" being Z or X as the base of the tree, they are dehumanised in a way which gives them alot less power over my thoughts. And "buried".

Another main goal of mine was to be able to "file" the traumatic memories away in my mind in a 'filing system' lol and be able to call on THEM at Will instead of them thundering into my mind intrusively, without warning and me feeling very little control.

In my first appt, my psych asked me to email her a thorough list of all the strategies I've used over my life time.

It was 4 full typed pages long.
In my 2nd session (from memory), she said more or less "that's no way to live"... she wanted to show me how to greatly diminish the triggers but my aim was to eradicate them, so my work went far beyond what she did with me.

It was like I was using strategies as oxygen masks, when I remembered to use them and the one I chose might work for a minute or slightly more, instead of learning how to breathe.

EMxxxx