How are you coping?

[Sawyer]

Hi everybody,

Just a quick post to see how everyone is doing? Lifes been pretty hectic for me lately with uni and work, and i've regretted not being online on these forums more. I'm looking forward to being available more once my thesis is submitted, but in the mean time i'm going to do my best to set aside some more time to come onto the forums and be available to anyone who would like to talk through whats going on with you, coping strategies, or advice. 

I'm not yet a professional clinician, but I have a degree in psychology, am working towards a clinical masters and I'm willing to help in any way I can. So on that note, how are we all going? lets talk about what's going on for you.

Cheers,

Sawyer

[Sawyer]

Hi Karen,

I'm glad you feel more comfortable. If you have any questions i'm an open book. If your son is acting out of character perhaps he is dealing with something himself, whether it be a mental condition that has been suppressed for a long time, or events in his own life. I'm sure you were hurt by his actions, and left confused, but can you think of anything that triggered his confrontational behaviour? is there a history of this behaviour or a common theme that may have been discussed that pushed him over the edge. For example for a time a friend of mine was so tired of having his parents disapprove of his choices in regards to his drinking habits, that almost any time the topic came up, he would respond very aggressively. Even if in that instance the trigger was only relatively small, these things can build up over time. Perhaps try talking to your other son (who he is living with) see if he has any idea what is going on. I'm glad you and your mother have not been hurt to much by this situation, or at least that you seem to have maintained a positive outlook. Sometimes people can truly only deal with their own problems, and sometimes they just need time. Give your son time, let him know you are there for him, but allow him to work through whatever he is dealing with.

I'm glad to hear you are keeping up with your mental health plan, particularly in your own time with diaries, exercises etc. I cannot stress enough how important it is to recovery that the individual is committed to their treatment and trying to get better. It seems you have the right attitude and you are on the right track. Stay positive and hold onto what ever makes you feel grounded on the days that get hard. I'm really happy to hear you are doing better than a month ago and that your physical treatment is going well also.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer

[Sawyer]

Hey Morning,

Can I ask why you are intimidate by this trip to Budapest? You've said you are a veteran traveller, did you experience the feelings you are now the previous times you have travelled? and if not, why do you think that is? is there anything different about this trip particularly that you aren't enjoying?

I understand living out of a suitcase can be draining, I live quite a ways away from my university so I travel into the city every week and live half there, half at my home. The constant packing, unpacking, organising, can be very consuming and often makes me feel quite... unsettled. But it is just a part of my life at the moment. That doesn't mean I don't often dislike the idea of putting all my clothes away when I get home each Sunday morning, after a week of uni and 20 hours at work, but I there isn't much I can change about it right now, so I've learnt to accept it.

It's unfortunate that you have had conflict with your daughter, but it is never too late to make amends with people. Tell her why you felt the way you did, tell her you're sorry, you may find that feeling more in touch with your family will help take some of the weight off your shoulders. The kind of thoughts you are experiencing are very negative and can be very difficult to escape from. It's important to remember that these negative thought patterns are cyclic, and often work to prove themselves right. For example, if we feel that "I'm such a burden" we may be more withdrawn around those people, more cranky, more depressed, have a shorter fuse etc, and all these behaviours will often make it more difficult for people to be around us, to relate to us, and find it frustrating that they can't cheer us up. We may perceive these outcomes as proving that our original thought was right, when in fact it was actually our reaction to our initial negative thought, that has made it come true. The important take away from this is that you have the power to break out from negative thoughts when they come up, even when you feel bad, you can acknowledge that these thoughts are likely more negative or black/white because of how you are feeling, and not necessarily because that's the truth.

Try to find the joys from your travels, It sounds like an amazing trip.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer

[Sawyer]

Hi Mrs. Doolhof,

Thankyou again. I will remember to take time off for myself, life can be quite draining sometimes, I am not an exception from that rule. Between uni, part time work and other commitments it can really seem like there aren't enough hours in the day. 

I don't mean to suggest that medication is a bad thing, for some people it is quite literally a life saver, just that like with any treatment, it isn't a one size fits all solution. Medication can be best used I believe, when used in conjunction with other cognitive and psychological therapies. In my own experience, medication was really helpful in keeping me safe during my darkest times, but after that, I realised that I wasn't going to get any better than i was already, I was pretty much just numb. Sure going off medication would mean that I would sometimes be worse, but It was always my plan to be able to move towards standing on my own two feet again, without a reliance on medication. I do no recommend that anyone stops taking their medication without consulting their health practitioners, this is just what was right for me.

Thank you for your kind words, I truly appreciate them. It would be amazing like you said to have 6 months off to deal with things, I feel everyone could benefit from that sort of time, but unfortunately for most of thats just a dream. I wish you, and everyone else reading this, the very best when dealing with whatever they may be going through, on top of the already stress filled lives most people lead these days.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer

[Sawyer]

Hi Sparkles,

I'm glad you have found this thread helpful. I promise to make sure I look after myself. Getting burnt out is a very real thing for all health practitioners, the same passion that drives us to help others, often drives us to push ourselves too hard in the hope that we might reach as many people as possible. As you say though in reality this is often detrimental to the care we might otherwise be able to provide. We aren't superheroes, and we can't save everyone, but we can contribute to a system that makes a healthy and sustainable difference among those people we do treat. That is why sometimes I reply very quickly on this forum, and other times I take a little while. I have other personal and professional commitments and ignoring these would do no one any good.

That's good news, i'm sure your psychologist will be very competent and supportive. I truly hope that your experience this time round is more positive and you should be proud of yourself for going ahead with a new practitioner in spite of your previous experience and the likely problems that has caused for you. Let me know how your sessions go, Im sure you will find them helpful.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer

[Guest_9466]

Hi Sawyer

 When I am overwhelmed with anxiety, I find that having a routine and safe haven helps. The thought of going to Budapest, initially, was overwhelming because I had to throw myself into the unknown. Normally, I would have enjoyed the challenge but not when my energy level was low. In Paris, I was also troubled by the sight of homelessness, so, the thought of seeing Syrian refugees overwhelmed me. I do not want to struggle with strong and contradicting emotions, this sense of helpness for not being in a position to help and also, feeling guilty for suffering from depression when I am so much better off than the refugees. Too many conflicting emotions running riot when confronted with 'unpleasant' news. 

Quite honestly, I should not have ventured into Scotland. The readon for travelling in Europe was to escape winter in Oz. Travelling in Scotland was like being back in Australia in winter. In some ways worse than in Australia, as it was raining and quite cold in Scotland. Plus, we were covering quite a distance within a short space of time. All these factors resulted in heightened depression and anxiety.

 My conflict with my daughter has been resolved. She is mostly quite understanding and supportive but whilst we were travelling, we were in confined space which did not help. It is true that we could have gone our separate ways amd meet up later but Not sure why we haven't thought of that. Anyway, it is all good now, she has returned back to work. It is just hubby and I travelling. We are staying put in Budapest for a week. The pace of life is more gentle and calmer than in London, less rushing and less crowded. Plus, I love the European culture, quite different from the English and much more interesting. 

[Sparkles183]

Hi Sawer 

i had my first appointment today and it went ok, but I am finding it hard to find a connection when I am so emotionally numb , although seems like she knows what she is doing and seems a lot more mature the my previous psychs, she just asked me a lot of questions and we practiced some grounding techniques together which was good as after the first Session with my previous Psychs I almost fainted both times but today I did not feel like I wanted to faint after our session so I think the groundingreally              

[Sparkles183]

Opps I pressed the post button what I was meant to say the grounding technique my psych went   Through with me was good  as I did not feel like I need to faint After the session. So hopefully this psych will work out and I can get the help I need and this emotional numbness will go way.

take care 

sparkles 

[Doolhof]

Hi Sawyer,

Once again I would like to say how wonderful it is that you are so willing to help others here.

I would also like to open an invitation for you to share any time you feel you need to or want to.

Like you mentioned, many of us find that we try to do so many things in a day, even if they are all worthwhile and of help to others, we all only have so much we can give before we begin to feel affected.

It can be beneficial to receive as much as it is to give.

That is where this forum is so beneficial. There have been people like myself who have been assisted and now we can be of help to others even if it is just in a small way.

Yes, I do understand your explanation about medication, I have accepted that I need it right now to be able to live a worthwhile kind of life.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Sawyer]

Hi Sparkles,

I'm really glad to hear that, stay positive! it's natural for you to be closed off. Just give yourself the time you deserve to be comfortable with someone new. Don't be afraid to tell your psychologist what exercises seem to work better or worse for you, and what you think might help for you as an individual. It can be very beneficial to feel empowered in your own treatment. Sounds like you already making headway and you have a good attitude so I'm sure you will see progress if you stick with it.

Keep up the good work,

Sawyer

[Sawyer]

Hi Mrs. Dools,

Thank you for your kind offer. Your words certainly resonate with me. I wish I could help more people and do more, but at the moment i'm somewhat limited in my capacity mainly due to time. But I know I have to focus on myself sometimes at the moment, so I can excel at a profession that will help more people in the long run.

Today i'm a bit stressed, feels like i'm balancing so many plates all at once. The biggest of which is my study, especially my thesis. Feels like I barely have enough time for all of that, but i'm also supposed to be figuring out if and where I want to study next year in Masters, and applying to all those places. I've lived a ways out of the city throughout my study, and had to work to support myself while studying as I don't get financial support from the government. When you add in travel, I haven't been able to get involved with research, volunteer and clinical opportunities in the city and as such feel I don't have as strong an application as other candidates might, and I don't have the references. 

So yeah, I guess those are the things on my mind right now. It's easy to focus on how many people are "luckier" than I am, but I just need to remember that many people have barriers, and I'm going to find a way to get over mine, even if sometimes I feel like i'm playing with a massive disadvantage. 

Hope you are well,

Sawyer