Housing and mental health.

calmseeker · ‎28-01-2020

Hi All,

I have been thinking lately about the link between good mental health and housing. Yet again, I have a pending move, which I know is a trigger for my anxiety. I tend to get quite ill after a move, there have been too many moves for me recently. mostly because am in the private housing market and my owners always either move back into their property or sell the property. I yearn for a stable, long term home (I could never afford to buy). I am such a 'homely' person. I feel that if I could remain somewhere for a reasonable amount of time I could really relax and focus on my mental health, I feel like I never can, I am always moving or catching up financially from a move or trying to settle in somewhere new. The cost is phenomenal to rent now, it really blows my mind. What a person needs to come up with for a rental property is quite a lot, not just the rent itself but the moving costs, cleaning of previous property, etc.

I am aware of NRAS but those properties rarely come up. Housing Dep have told me 10-15 plus year wait. Private market ridiculously expensive.

I am very thankful to even have a roof over my head, don't get me wrong (not that I can afford that roof though). I realise there are lots of people who don't even have a home so I am really not ungrateful, just sick of the stress that comes with searching for affordable, decent housing where I can hopefully lay my hat for a few years. A home should be a place where a person can feel safe and relaxed and heal and survive - not feel like a hotel. My ranting was not meant to actually be a big whinge about my situation (sorry if its turned out that way!) more so just a comment on the link between good mental health and stable housing really.

calmseeker · ‎05-02-2020

Hi Hanna,

Your housing journey sounds exhausting. I had a similar situation to you at my last property regarding the owner wanting to move back into their house. By law they only need to give me 8 weeks notice , and that's exactly the notice I was given. It may seem like a reasonable amount of notice to some but its not really considering a basic move including all the cleaning the real estate require, moving costs and new bond and rent adds up to around 4k per move. This is big money! If I was able to pull 4k twice a year out of my back pocket I would be able to buy a house. I just don't have that type of cash laying around so it needed to be borrowed, thus another bill to deal with each week on my microscopic budget.

You make a great point about really not needing much to be happy. I cant agree more. I have become quite the minimalist with possessions, I have always been a bit like that but more so now as I see 'stuff' as more money per hour to the removalist and more effort to pack and move. I also try to lower my standards and get a property that is as basic as I can for the cheapest rent (difficult where I live as everything is super expensive even when its a dive).

I saw a pattern emerging with my mental health, which is why I made this thread. I seem to have bouts of debilitating depression and anxiety. I noticed these came directly in coherence with a move and all the stress and uncertainty that comes with it. I am dreading the next move, I am trying to arm myself with tools and skills to cope with pending poor mental health and all the hell symptoms that crop up again. I am really just tired of moving. I also find myself becoming a bit resentful of people who own homes! I hate that I feel like that, I really don't like myself at all when I have those thoughts, I don't feel like I am a resentful or jealous person and the thoughts are unwanted, but I yearn some stability.

In the end it is what it is and every night I have a roof over my head I am grateful.

quirkywords · ‎05-02-2020

Thanks Hanna for that information, I have read about people who have been in previous fires and knew a few from one fire over 15 years ago. Everyone is different a percentage never rebuild and other want to rebuild asap.

Calmseeker thanks for your kind words. I did not wish to focus this great thread on me, I could just relate on many levels and it is an important issue.

Quirky

Elizabeth CP · ‎05-02-2020

I agree with what has been said. My son's psych hospital admissions over the last few years have all been linked to being forced to move. Because of his MH issues he has let his wife handle the finances in the past but she has no financial sense at all so they would get into debt & behind with rent & other bills & then lose their home. It has become a viscous cycle as when he is unwell he can't keep control of the finances & things go down again. He was doing quite well for a while & had a good job & was trying to make changes until the landlord gave notice again so he ended up in hospital, lost his job & now have to live with his wife's parents in 2 rooms with their 2 children.His wife hasn't applied for government housing because of the long wait list & she says the forms are too hard to fill in. His wife doesn't want me involved so I can't help but it really hurts to see him so unwell & his kids really suffer not having their dad able to do things with them when he's sick.

Hanna3 · ‎05-02-2020

Hi again quirky,

That woman also said a man who had lost his home to fires long before she did, told her she would never have the same attitude to possessions again and she said he was right. She said he only kept minimal amounts of what he needed - like two cups for example. After having had to give away much of my own belongings I tend to have a similar outlook - second hand OpShop will do, it's only stuff and I may lose it again anyway...

I don't know if this sounds positive for you, but maybe in a strange way it is - you start wanting less and less "stuff".

Losing your business as well must put you in a dreadful situation, I truly feel for you, that episode of Q&A was worth watching as people who had lost business etc were all talking about the situation.

Really thinking of you mate.

Hanna3 · ‎05-02-2020

Hi calmseeker,

I recently made a transfer in public housing from a coastal town to inland where I am now, and realize I had totally underestimated the mental impact on me. I am not wondering what the heck I was thinking of. I talk about this to the kind souls who put up with me on other threads! In fact I just had a meltdown to an old friend over the phone about an hour ago, crying from the heat here and the social isolation and my homesickness - all self inflicted (but I also listened to other people's opinions too much instead of listening to my gut feeling). Still, my own fault.

In private rental you have to move over and over again, the cost as you rightly point out is prohibitive and the stress is enormous. I had a dog as well which made finding another rental even more of a nightmare.

My mental health has declined rapidly in the months since moving here, not helped by the shocking summer and fires etc etc. I was also given minimal notice to vacate, the stress is horrendous.

Most European countries seem to have much stronger regulations protecting tenants and I don't know why Australia has to be so obsessed with home ownership, when long term rentals like they have in places like Germany, with strict regulations about rent, etc, could give more people the security to rent securely for life.

I had a German friend once who was astonished at Australia. She said to me "why do you all have mortgages here? In Germany everybody rents". Says it all really. They rent as it's affordable and secure.

Really feel for you, and for myself since I keep punishing myself for making a stupid decision!

calmseeker · ‎05-02-2020

Hi there Hanna,

Don't be too hard on yourself about the decision you have made, it sounds like you may not have had any other options. Personally, I have probably gotten myself into this situation also by doing what my stupid ex wanted me to do 18 years ago. I was buying my own house in Tas way back and abusive , strip club going ex decided he wanted to sell and move to QLD. Like the dutiful partner I just let him do what he wanted to keep him happy. We sold, he spent the profits on jet skis and cars and had 2 years off work. It was such a dumb move on my part to not get back into the housing market, it was so stupid of me to not stand up to him and to not protect mine and my daughters future. We split 5 years after moving and there was then absolutely no chance of buying home again so on the rental roundabout I was and I don't think I will never get off. So please don't think you are the only one who made a decision that wasn't the right one. I am right here with you sista!

We had a little chat about pets and renting at the BB café didn't we.

Is there any option for you to move back to where you previously were Hanna? It sound like you would like to? I hear you mention the heat being unbearable at your current property.

Oh and the Europe thing is interesting, it really does sound like they know what they are doing over there.

CS

Hanna3 · ‎06-02-2020

Hi calmseeker,

Your situation is not uncommon I suspect - divorced people often struggle to get back into buying a house. It's a shame for you. I agree though, it's no use beating ourselves up over decisions that turned out wrong - I remember talking to a woman who was berating herself for taking bad financial advice and taking a loan out against her home and she ended up losing her home to pay off the loan - and I told her nobody makes a decision thinking "oh great, this is going to turn out bad, let's do it!"- we make the best decision we can at the time. It's rotten though.

I'd like to come back on later when I haven't got to go out and then wait on the lawnmowing guy to come - which is what I have to do today - because I think this thread you've started is a great idea and there's so much that needs to be talked about. I was thinking about lack of repairs/maintenance, and also the attitude of so many people towards people who rent (don't even think about people like me in public housing, we're the absolute pits!) and how to deal with this arrogant view that somehow renters are a subclass... when in most European countries and much of America it's normal to rent forever.

Yes I've been complaining on my thread about the heat here we are basically baking alive in this house, and my dog is ill with diarrhoea and heat exhaustion from it - so there's another topic, the inadequacy of much of the public housing that is available as the government doesn't want to spend money on it - and it's desperately needed.

There's so much to talk and think about on this topic isn't there? I hope others come on and add to the discussion, hearing other people's stories and opinions is great. I will be back. It's great to talk with you!

calmseeker · ‎06-02-2020

Hi Elizabeth,

I am so sorry to hear about your sons housing issues. I feel you have to maintain a perfect record in order to rent privately and once that rent is in arrears or a problem arises its on your record and makes it difficult to be approved for properties in this really competitive rental market. I really feel for your son. His situation illustrates exactly what I am talking about, that mental health suffers when there are housing issues and without stable housing its difficult to take care of your mental well being. A vicious circle like you say. Its too bad the wife wont let you help with the finance management as you have a vested interest in your sons mental health and you understand what needs to be done in this situation. I really hope your son and his family will be ok and I know these housing issues are a definite trigger for anxiety. Best wishes.

calmseeker · ‎06-02-2020

Hi Hanna,

I recently read that the median rental price in Australia is around $456 per week, in my part of the country that doesn't even get you much. In comparison, in European countries its about $250 per week when the amount is converted. Its not just the money either, it sounds like you don't have to stigma of being 'JUST a renter'. Big differences that matter.

Agreed. There is a lot to discuss regarding housing and mental health. Many layers with the bigger picture and the smaller details too (like pesky inspections which spin my OCD out of control!).

quirkywords · ‎06-02-2020

As people have mentioned it is not just the price of housing but the community it offers, the clesness to transport . the friendliness of neighbours.

Elizabeth is there a social worker who can help with forms. That is sad about your son. I had not rented for decades so now suddenly I am on the rental market and it is so stressful and expensive as I no longer have money coming in.

I agree if you have a safe place to live close to amenities you need, and able to work who volunteer or be close to family , that does help ones mental health. I am still hopeful that will happen for everyone.