Healthy body image tips

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

I thought this thread might be helpful for developing healthy body image.

In saying that, these are just general tips and can't replace medical and allied health advice but I thought such a thread would be helpful.

You may or may not find these tips helpful- either is okay- but I thought that I would share things that I have learnt over the years.

Please feel free to share your own tips 😊

- not labelling food as "good" or "bad." Food is food.

- get a full body check to make sure there aren't physical health problems that are causing food/appetite issues.

- this is a really difficult one (because it's hard work and emotionally painful) but finding the root cause(s) of your binge eating/purging/deprivation/etc because food is often a "symptom" of a deeper wound. Sometimes this requires help from a psychologist, counsellor or other health professional.

- avoid discussions about kj/calories with friends and loved ones. Same goes for conversations where you put yourselves down for your weight and physical appearance.

- when complimenting friends and loved ones, try to make it about their personal attributes as opposed to their appearance.

- remember that photos online and in magazines are usually airbrushed.

- be wary of competitive dieting and exercising with friends. While it's great if you and a friend want to motivate each other to exercise and eat well in a supportive and healthy way, it's another thing when it turns into a competition.

- try to avoid fad diets.

- minimise constantly checking e.g. obsessive use of scales, pinching your stomach, etc. Try to set limits as to how often you check yourself/body e.g. weighing yourself once a week (for general health reasons).

- if you find that there are certain things that "trigger" unhealthy behaviours then minimise contact with those things/get rid of them. For example, I don't own a set of scales anymore because every time that I've had easy access to one, I end up weighing myself multiple times every single day, which in turn, triggers another set of unhealthy behaviours and on it goes...

- surround yourself with people who don't make you feel bad about your body and appearance. By the same token, minimise contact with people who criticise you for your appearance, engage in competitive dieting, etc.

- only lose/gain weight for your own sake and not because someone else is pressuring you to do it. It's your body.

- And remember, your weight doesn't define you.

Dottie x

[Guest_1055]

Hi all,

Sara , I have thought about your question in regards to self esteem. My brain is muddled a bit tonight. I will ponder on this self esteem issue when I am able to . Just wanted to let you know I read your post is all..

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Hi Sara,

I have been thinking about this self esteem issue. And I am not quite sure about it to be honest. Maybe it has something to do with confidence in one owns abilities. Or really knowing and believing how precious and valuable each one of us is. And because one knows this they treat themselves well . Or maybe it is like believing in oneself.?

Like I said I am not real certain Sara. My thoughts are all mixed up about it.

Shell xx

[Quercus]

Ooh Sara that is a tough question!

Am I worth more than how I treat myself? Do I deserve to look better? Or feel better for that matter.

I was reading one of those trashy guide to​ dressing better books and one bit stood out. It said...

"grooming disappeared with your self respect... There is no more effective way to plummet your self esteem than feeling unkempt".

I thought that made sense. I'm guilty of this. Why bother with a haircut I just shove it in a ponytail anyway? Money is tight so I'll buy what we need for the kids and hubby but it doesn't matter that I need new underwear.

What I seem to be telling myself is that I'm not worth it. I'm the last priority. I don't matter. But you know what? I do matter. When I act like I matter I feel better about myself.

Also I noticed people treat me better if I look like I care about myself. The other day I took a few minutes to dress a little nicer and put on makeup. I just had to take a bill to Centrelink with the kid's in tow but I looked fresh for once. I was dreading it. The long wait with two little kids to control. Took some bribery treats for the worst case scenario melt down.

But I looked in control and confident. I felt good about myself for once. The kids responded to this beautifully and behaved. The security guard came and had a chat and a laugh with my son which he loved. A young man offered me his seat for my daughter. When we left a few people commented that my kids were lovely.

I felt like I was on another planet. Then realised the difference was me. I acted like I deserved and expected better so people treated me better. It felt nice.

What do you think? If we just take on faith for now that we are worthwhile and deserving of good things will we eventually be rewarded enough in life to believe it for real?

[MsPurple]

Good thread to revamp 🙂

So I wanted to lose weight (I guess I still kinda do, not a huge number just 5kg) but I don't think this mind set is a healthy one for me. Instead I have tried to switch this thought to 'I want to be fit enough to complete an olympic tri'. I'm trying to make more achievable goals that will benefit my mental and physical health. I am not wanting to put my happiness down to the number on the scales.

I also try and make sure I get good nutrition in. I try eat 2 fruit and 5 veg every day (I'm not perfect everyday and that's ok). I also try and follow the Australian Dietary Guidelines and Australian Guide to Healthy Eating as best I can (I use it as a guide). These were made by the government with nutrition professionals so it's not a fad or anything.

I am trying to accept my body and myself for who I am. If I am wanting to aim for fitness over kg goals. I think this is a good start for me. Do you guys ever struggle with accepting the number on the scale or is it just a number to you?

[Quercus]

Good for you MsPurple.

I love how your aim is to be fit and healthy.

I never used to like exercise because my family put this huge emphasis on weight loss. Exercise was to make you look better not to make you feel good.

They were wrong. I've learnt that I can focus on listening to music and enjoying the feel of movement. I love the refreshed and revitalised feeling afterwards. That is my goal. Exercise as therapy for my mind and body. Fitness to be able to get outdoors and enjoy life.

I do look at the scales sometimes more out of habit. But I don't like to do this. I remind myself that mentally linking exercise to a number on the scales makes me feel rubbish about myself. But linking exercise to feeling stronger and having more energy makes me feel good about my body.

[Just Sara]

Hey guys;

Sorry I've been slack with this thread. Been feeling the pinch and have only managed a few posts for the past week.

So Shelly, your response may be short, but it represents many others who're confused with self esteem. You mentioned; "...confidence in one's own abilities"

Yes, our abilities are important, but it's our intrinsic qualities that resonate. I'm caring, intelligent, empathic, courteous, mentally strong, very forgiving, have a moral conscience and aim to protect children.

These qualities on the page seem generic, but within me, I 'know' what they mean and how precious they are. Being proud of my achievements especially when it comes to my recovery, can't be measured.

Speaking about myself in this way reflects how I regard myself; self 'esteem'.

Each time I look in the mirror, it's different depending on how my day's going. Don't forget our brains are like machines; what we feed them creates pathways. Each pathway creates new beliefs and chemicals that create 'feelings'; good or bad respectively.

A few yrs ago, I used to stand naked in front of my full length mirror and say out loud how beautiful I was. I'd comment on my hair, eyes, skin etc with positive words. It was so difficult at first, but as time passed, I began to really 'see' myself differently. Even though it was an experiment, it worked beyond my expectations.

Some days I'd have 'bed hair', we all know what that's like yeah? lol I'd smile and say; "You know what? It might not pass as beautiful in others eyes, but that's ok because this is what bed hair is supposed to look like!"

My breakdown happened a few months into this regime, so it's taken time to revisit the practice. If I can't truly accept myself for who I am, how can others? If I refuse to 'believe' others when they compliment me, how can I accept myself or them?

We spend so much time and effort on this site talking about flaws and deficits; the word 'but' comes after each positive remark far too often.

If you're game, include 5 qualities you have without saying 'but' or 'except when' or 'if only', to name a few.

Give it a go!

Sara xo

[quirkywords]

Everyone

Sara, what a great post. You wrote "we spend so much time and effort on this site talking about flaws and deficits; the word but comes after each positive remark far too often."

That is so true but not just for this site but for life in general.

I had a friend that would turn a compliment into a negative or a joke and I sometimes do that too but am trying not to.

Quercus, I like when you wrote "I acted liked I deserved and expected better so people treated me better." I need to reflect more on that. I am glad it worked for you.

I remember writing qualities a while ago on another site.

I will have a go now.

I care about people.

I am kind.

I like writing.

I am creative.

I find things.

This was hard as I did want to add all the time, or when I am in a good mood, etc etc so I kept them sort.

Please have a go as it really made me aware of how I qualify my positives.

Thanks Sara.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

My proofreader was not working!

Should read I wanted to add. But not all the time and when I am in a good mood,

Quirky

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

Since Dotti (who started this thread) left the forums to take care of herself... this thread seems to have dropped off.

This makes me sad because the topic is important... Body image.

A common theme on the forums is being unable to like ourselves. Not just internally but the body we inhabit.

Eating disorders, anxiety, physical disability, the aftermath of trauma and abuse, depression ....

You name it... It affects how we see our physical selves.

I found this thread helpful. I realised my view of my self was so unhealthy. And affecting me pretty badly to be honest.

I'm not embarrassed to admit I am far from lovely. My husband told me once... "You're not classically beautiful but do you think I'd have married you if I didn't find you attractive?" (wow thanks hon!).

The amount of criticisms I have recieved about my body in my 32 years on earth could fill a book. And compliments are always based about my personality... Because every woman wants to hear they are "nice"... (Cringes).

Worst of all are the traumatic experiences and events throughout my life relating to my physical self. It is very difficult to aim to improve my body image when thinking about my body is a trigger in itself.

Most of the time I feel like a little girl watching her Mum apply makeup in the mirror... It's like magic. That I don't possess. That's how I feel about my body. I want to feel feminine and confident and healthy and strong in my body. But I'm not sure how to get there.

Anyone have any ideas? How did you improve your confidence and body image?

❤ Nat

[swtpotato]

Hi all,

I saw someone mention this thread to someone new and thought I should also check it out.

I've realised recently (re-realised, I always figure it out and then forget again) that a lot of my insecurity comes from how I view my physical appearance specifically.

And this is from being too skinny actually. I am a very small person, I used to always get anxiety when someone asked my age as usually no one believed me. Comments like - 'I would date her but it would make me feel like a pedophile' (he was the same age as me), was mocked at school, people being condescending and treating me like I am younger than I am, all making me feel invisible and like I didn't belong anywhere.

I have recently had a few dreams about how I got so skinny that I disappeared and no one noticed, and have been overthinking about diet and strategies to put on weight - hoping that then if I was a bit bigger with a normal looking figure I would feel like I would deserve to inhabit the world like others do.

What is interesting is that lately I've tried to act the opposite of how I feel, like pretend that I am just as much a young adult as others, and people have responded differently to me. Like possibly they were mostly responding to how I presented my body and myself, rather than responding to my physical appearance specifically. Still can't shake the feeling though.

Just thought it is interesting that you can have these sorts of feelings no matter how much you weigh, and how powerful attitude is in how people perceive you. Since I've had less anxiety recently I've stopped seeing dressing up as a kind of inauthentic mask hiding my ugly body, but as a mode of expression of my inner self.

Quercus - I am still not really sure. It's like having a 'bad body image day'. I don't know exactly what triggers it but sometimes I can't stand to look at myself, and others I am able to affirm my love for my body due to what it enables me to do in my life. What has helped you in the past?

m