Healthy body image tips

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

I thought this thread might be helpful for developing healthy body image.

In saying that, these are just general tips and can't replace medical and allied health advice but I thought such a thread would be helpful.

You may or may not find these tips helpful- either is okay- but I thought that I would share things that I have learnt over the years.

Please feel free to share your own tips 😊

- not labelling food as "good" or "bad." Food is food.

- get a full body check to make sure there aren't physical health problems that are causing food/appetite issues.

- this is a really difficult one (because it's hard work and emotionally painful) but finding the root cause(s) of your binge eating/purging/deprivation/etc because food is often a "symptom" of a deeper wound. Sometimes this requires help from a psychologist, counsellor or other health professional.

- avoid discussions about kj/calories with friends and loved ones. Same goes for conversations where you put yourselves down for your weight and physical appearance.

- when complimenting friends and loved ones, try to make it about their personal attributes as opposed to their appearance.

- remember that photos online and in magazines are usually airbrushed.

- be wary of competitive dieting and exercising with friends. While it's great if you and a friend want to motivate each other to exercise and eat well in a supportive and healthy way, it's another thing when it turns into a competition.

- try to avoid fad diets.

- minimise constantly checking e.g. obsessive use of scales, pinching your stomach, etc. Try to set limits as to how often you check yourself/body e.g. weighing yourself once a week (for general health reasons).

- if you find that there are certain things that "trigger" unhealthy behaviours then minimise contact with those things/get rid of them. For example, I don't own a set of scales anymore because every time that I've had easy access to one, I end up weighing myself multiple times every single day, which in turn, triggers another set of unhealthy behaviours and on it goes...

- surround yourself with people who don't make you feel bad about your body and appearance. By the same token, minimise contact with people who criticise you for your appearance, engage in competitive dieting, etc.

- only lose/gain weight for your own sake and not because someone else is pressuring you to do it. It's your body.

- And remember, your weight doesn't define you.

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

Hi again,

Okay, take 2...it seems my first post disappeared so I'll try to remember what I wrote.

SB, thank you so much for visiting and sharing your tips on managing meal time.

MaiiBear, wow, what a moving post.snow is beautiful, and so are Christmas lights. Both are completely different but they're special in their own way.This was beautifully worded and I love your message. You seem to have come to a place of peace and acceptance- maybe even happiness- with your body and body image. Thank you for seeing beauty in others where others may not see it in themselves. Your inner beauty shines through.

TBella, it's lovely to see you here. I agree that the posters have shared great tips and trusted us with personal stories. I think it helps to feel less alone. I also loved you supportive and uplifting comments about scars.

Thank you again,

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

Okay, let's try this again...it seems my first post disappeared so I'll try to remember what I wrote.

SB, thank you so much for visiting and sharing your tips on managing meal time.

MaiiBear, wow, what a moving post.

snow is beautiful, and so are Christmas lights. Both are completely different but they're special in their own way.

This was beautifully worded and I love your message. You seem to have come to a place of peace and acceptance- maybe even happiness- with your body and body image.

Thank you for seeing beauty in others where others may not see it in themselves. Your inner beauty shines through.

TBella, it's lovely to see you here. I agree that the posters have shared great tips and trusted us with personal stories. I think it helps to feel less alone. I also loved you supportive and uplifting comments about scars.

Thank you again,

Dottie x

[Guest_1055]

Hello everyone and thanks Dottie for bringing up this topic. I have issues with self image. I sometimes say I feel fat and ugly. I used to hide away for this reason plus some other reasons as well .I believe I felt shame. Shame for how I looked. I still get this from time to time. But I am realising that beauty on the inside is far more important and this is something to cultivate within ourselves. Plus eating real healthy can give you a nice glow on your face.

I will read all everyone's comments again, as they are quite good.

Thanks Dottie and everyone else

Shell xx

[Just Sara]

You're so right Shelley Anne;

Being trapped in a body of shame in a world of 'thin' culture can be devastating. That's why feeling beautiful has to begin on the inside.

I struggle with looking after myself caused by habitual neglect at times of severe broken brain episodes. Creating new habits therefore, is a trial. Not having my usual go-to substances of abuse challenges. Breaking through this self imposed escape mechanism is still a process for me. Taste is one of our olfactory senses that the brain clings onto with an almighty grip.

What ails me now, is the physical pressure it's placing on my body; 'beautiful' doesn't come into it. My 'real age' I figure would have to be 20 yrs older on some days.

Hey Dottie!

Ha ha...I see your post has come up four times! ...glitches in the system.

Thanks for your reply...it's always nice how you reflect back my words and expressions in a way that gives more meaning. A wonderful gift I must say. 🙂

I hope all's well in your world...

Sara xo

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

Shell, I agree that inner beauty trumps outer beauty. In saying that, I think it's still very hard not to be overcome by comparison, doubt and insecurities. So many people- including me- have a love/hate relationship with our bodies.

Sara, I loved reading your frank post to Shell. Yeah, that's the thing...food as coping runs so much deeper than the food itself. It's what lies beneath that leads to food struggles so I agree with you there. It's a tough one.

Thank you for the support and compliments. I don't even know what to say but thank you.

Dottie x

[Guest_1055]

I am not sure if this is anything to do with self body image, but I think so .

Presently I am sitting here in the gym. Sometimes I see other females in here and feel so ugly and fat compared to them. I just want to hide somewhere so no one else will see my ugliness. I think it is envy or something else in me. I hate this feeling and want it to go away. Almost feel tears coming now. I just want to be confident in who I am on the inside. But I do not know how to stop comparing my body to theres. I believe it has something to do with accepting myself, but again I am unsure. Again because I am very observant I see males stare at the body of the other females.

[Guest_322]

Hi Shell,

Thanks so much for your frank and heartfelt admission.

I feel as though you have touched on something that many people can relate to...I agree that it's really difficult not to compare our own bodies to other people's bodies. And I think it becomes twice as hard if we are in environments (e.g. gyms) where there is so much focus on the body. Don't get me wrong, there are many positives about the gym like fitness and health but the drawback is everyone's bodies are literally "on display" (so to speak).

I don't know if this helps or not but I suppose "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Super cliched but there's truth in it.

Also, I've been in situations where I have met people who aren't considered conventionally attractive. But then when you get to know them and they have amazing personalities, they start "looking" more attractive to me. Conversely, I've meet super attractive people but if they have really horrible personalities, they start "looking" a lot less attractive to me.

Anyway...back to what you were saying...

I can empathise with how you felt. Dance was a huge part of my life and while there are many beautiful sides to it like artistry, skill (& discipline), creativity and emotional expression, there's also that heavy emphasis on one's body and appearance. Like in the gym, your body was "on display"; in dance, the same applies.

There's a lot of pressure to look a certain way in the dance world (usually it means slim for women and lean but muscular for men). I recall always wishing that I looked like this other girl in my ballet class.

I had a colleague who used to attend at least 3 lyrical dance classes each week but she didn't have the stereotypical dancer's body. I remember spotting eyebrow raises and surprised look on people's faces when they learnt that about her (because she didn't fit the bill of the "typical" dancer's body).

Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm trying to say other than I hear you and that I can empathise.

thanks again!

Dottie x

[Guest_1055]

Morning Dottie, I appreciate your response there. I was wondering if your dad ever said how beautiful your were when you were going up.Like beautiful on the inside. Or if you felt accepted by him.?The reason I ask this is because I am trying to see if there is a connection to how we feel about ourselves now.

Shell x

[Guest_322]

Hi Shell,

That's an interesting question. I think the best way to describe my dad is his comments were inconsistent and changed direction as easily as the wind. For example, he might compliment me in the morning then by evening, he would make some negative remark about my body. Or he might make some negative remark one night then change his tune the following morning. Point is it varied a lot but he loved to comment on my appearance.

I think that I felt accepted by my dad if I looked a certain way but not necessarily as a person if that makes any sense.

Dottie x

[Guest_1055]

Mmm yes I believe I understand you Dottie and that perhaps you did not feel accepted as the person you .. as in the girl inside the body. Really the body I think is a vessel of sorts that carries us around.

I did not feel accepted either. Whether my dad did or not, well I just don't know. Perhaps he did but that message was not received by me or something. Or he didn't know how to get it across to me.

Often our dads are the first males we sort of have some sort of relationship with.

I just wonder if there is a connection to how our dads related to us and whether it has an impact on whether we accept ourselves including the way we physicality look.

shell xx